@VeryHappy, we entertained a lot pre-Covid. We still do but less so. After a serious stint with lots of dinners one night after another, ShawWife said “No more for a while.” Then I had my surgery. People did come over but they brought food. Recently, we’ve had a few people over. @1214mom, we do have some friends who rarely cook and are happy to invite us to join them eating out. It is interesting that we pay for all the food when we invite them and we split it when we go out (not quite reciprocal) — except for one friend who is adamant that they pay when we go out. From a cost perspective, I don’t care, but there is something missing in the reciprocity.
@Mom22039, ShawWife is very sensitive to the widows (and single women) but she often invites couples. We do have a one widow over for various things – she is a part of ShawWife’s artistic life and while a bit high strung (bipolar, I think) but is a very generous and giving soul and when she’s on, she’s a great person to have around. We call one widow every time we go to Costco because to see if she wants me to pick up rotisserie chicken (which she loves) but we don’t often have her over for dinner. Another has just become very grumpy and self-centered. She was always very judgmental but is very bright and was interesting but the conversations have just devolved and ShawWife no longer wants to engage with her.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, we know no single men. One woman – an extraordinarily accomplished artist who creates major pieces all over the world – lost her husband. We saw her at a dinner and she asked if we knew any single men. Turns out that I had met a former student for coffee when I was in NY a few months earlier and he was going through a difficult divorce, so I figured he was single. He is a great guy – very bright and genuinely sweet – and has a great life – cosmopolitan as he grew up in Vienna, former CEO of a biotech company, did/does private equity, on the board of one our country’s major universities and a few companies, has a couple of very nice houses etc. I emailed him shortly thereafter to ask if he’d be interested and he already had a GF. They visited us recently. She’s very nice and holds her own with him – she is a professor at an Ivy League university and probably 15 years younger (maybe more). But, he went off the market very quickly.
Thanksgiving is interesting. I don’t think I mentioned this but if I did, I apologize. ShawWife is largely incredibly generous. But she had two shows to complete the work for (now done). One later this month and one at a museum in another city that accelerated the show date from April to February and needed all her work and lots of info for labels etc. several months sooner than anticipated. She was just getting over taking care of me post-surgery. ShawD, who is an outstanding cook, volunteered to host Thanksgiving. I thought it was because she wanted to show off her newly renovated kitchen, but she is a medical director of two clinics, is finishing a degree in psychiatric mental health which requires her to shadow practitioners in distant parts of the greater metropolitan area, and has a very busy social life. She seemed pretty overwhelmed. Turns out that she was volunteering because she thought ShawWife was overwhelmed.
One of my sisters called to ask if we would be willing to host Thanksgiving (my mother and aunt always did this) for her and her daughter and new husband. (The other sister lives farther away and has plans). My sister and her husband are the guests from hell. They never help with anything – they don’t clear plates, load the dishwasher, don’t bring much that they have cooked. But, our niece and husband are orthodox and we don’t keep kosher so my sister would happily instruct ShawWife and me on how to create a dinner that the niece and husband (who are great and helpful) could eat. This would involve mostly going into the center of the city to buy meals from a kosher caterer and probably using paper plates. She, of course, didn’t volunteer to help, just instruct us. After some discussion, ShawWife just said, “I would do it for almost anyone but this year, not for them. I just don’t have the energy.”
We will host just ShawD and her partner. ShawSon and wife will stay on the West Coast. We’ll take a trip to see them in Dec or Jan, I think.
going to be on an European cruise this thanksgiving