@doschicos:
wasn’t much of a problem, our son actually hasn’t been home too much in the last x years, and he is a night owl, spent a lot of time in our TV room (aka spare bedroom on a different level) playing video games or more likely, listening to music and reading about music into the small hours), so it wasn’t too bad lol.
Why do people think that having a significant other necessarily interferes with school? Vast numbers of young people who have boyfriends or girlfriends do very well academically.
+1 @Marian
DS and GF of 2 years drink less, party less, and study more than they did. Some of that is maturational, but “staying in” is nicer with a buddy.
I studied more and partied less when I was in a committed relationship than when I was between relationships. Fortunately for my studies and grades and stability, I was usually in a committed relationship most of my life from age 16 onwards, with brief breaks for changing of partners.
Romani, things have most certainly changed. I lived it. I am in m 60’s and came of age in the 60’s. I and other posters have tried to describe what it was like.
Surely no one is suggesting that there were no one night stands (or even few) during the “sexual revolution.”
I was in college in the late 60s. There were clearly one-night stands or hookups. 
I’m sometimes reminded of my father, who was at the Bauhaus in the 20s, and when he observed the sexual revolution, said, basically “been there, done that.”
Hmm… Seven years ago, DS (then age 23) was living in the guest room above the garage (separate entrance) when I first met his lovely girlfriend… at 5:30 in the morning. (They’re still together.) Now DD (age 31) is living in the now-apartment (we added a tiny kitchen) above the garage. I’ve encountered her boyfriend a few times, mostly at around 7 AM. I don’t ask about their sex lives and they don’t ask about mine.
I think there’s a significant difference between occupying separate quarters with a separate entrance, and living in a hall bedroom next to the parents and sibs and sharing a hall bath. H and I were expected to occupy separate quarters at our parents’ houses when we were dating, and even when we moved in together a couple months before our marriage.
BTW, when I was a kid I did sometimes hear my parents having sex on the other side of the wall. I didn’t realize, or chose not to realize, what it was at the time.
Because dating/romantic relationships does some time/effort and emotional energy which could detract from other activities, especially if the relationship is stormy/goes south fast.
Knew plenty of folks whose grades suffered or worse, ended up expelled from undergrad/grad school(including PhD programs) as a result of the time taken away for dating/romantic relationships.
However, this really depends on the individuals involved and the educational/work environment they happen to find themselves in.
For instance, dating/relationships were much more common in some suburban high schools my older cousins attended and my neighborhood zoned high schools than at the public magnet I attended. While there were dating couples at my public magnet, the vast majority of them ended up opting to transfer out or broke up sometime between frosh and senior years including a few who broke up during our senior year due to the strain from the high academic rigor/workload and a campus cultural environment which regarded dating as prioritizing a “frivolous” activity over academics/career/personal development.
While some parents may regard the lack of HS dating to be a bad thing, most of my HS classmates including yours truly had no issues remedying that during and after undergrad.
Also, seeing older elementary school classmates/neighbors from my childhood NYC neighborhood having their educational/career options* closed due to unexpected teenage pregnancies substantially reduced the appeal of dating/sex in middle/HS years among most of us with aspirations requiring a HS diploma or higher.
- Both the pregnant teen mother and the teen father ended up having to drop out of HS to find work to support the baby due to severe financial constraints of their respective families and/or negative parental reactions to the outcome even when the teen father took on co-parenting responsibilities/married.
“I think the most normal thing is for parents to discourage/forbid premarital sex in their homes and for college-aged children to work around it by being creative.”
So, kind of like a game? 
“Wow, how times have changed. In the 1970s, when I was in college, absolutely none of my friends’ parents would have let their daughter’s boyfriend stay in her room overnight. None.”
Well, you certainly didn’t know my family! I was in college in the 80s and then BF, now husband definitely shared a room with me during visits home as did older siblings’ significant others in the 70s. It’s definitely not a new thing, just a philosophical/cultural difference I guess.
My son met his s/0 in graduate school. They had already shared her bedroom at her parents house, so felt fine to share in my house. After 7 years together, tho too many long distance, I am grieving the breakup. Sharing a bedroom a few days in a year seems trite compared to everything they have been thru.
Have my children had sex in our home with their partners? Most definitely yes in my opinion. Certainly my S who lives at home and just broke up with a gf of 3 1/2 years. She lives with her parents. So obviously it happened.
I don’t care! Of course I do not want to hear anything, and haven’t.
I did, however, strongly discourage my kids from having sex while in HS. The mind needs to be ready for an intimate relationship. And often it lags behind the body. My D’s, especially, saw friends becoming completely unglued, because a bf, whom they were sexually active with, broke up with them. Questioning how they could live w/o a bf.
I wanted my kids to become strong and confident in themselves before becoming dependent on or attached to another person. I have no idea if they are better off or not, to be honest! Hahaha!
I think it’s worth noting that absent the whole sex thing, studies have shown that there are a lot of health benefits derived from sleeping together - just sharing a bed.
^^^^^^ I can’t stand to sleep with another person. Snoring, tossing and turning, bed hog^^^^^ I have been on my own for too long.
When my dh, then bf, visited my parents’ home when we were in college, he slept on a daybed on their screened porch. By then, it had large sliding windows so at least he was protected from rain. When I visited his parents’ home, I slept in a bedroom with one of his sisters. Neither of us expected anything else.
At our university, a girl on my floor was expelled and sent home, as was her boyfriend, when her roommate complained about being locked out more than once. There were separate dorms and if you were caught in the wrong one after visiting hours it meant trouble. This was in the '70s at a Catholic school. Times have changed.
I am a single mom. I missed them (still do) when they are at their dad’s. 
Would rather spend time with them than anyone else I know.
That said, as mentioned above – I don’t ask about their sex lives (except making sure they are using birth control & feel safe in their relationships). And they don’t ask about mine. And I let them know my schedule when I am going to be out.
Cobrat, exactly: “a campus cultural environment which regarded dating as prioritizing a “frivolous” activity over academics/career/personal development.” And the need to avoid time and energy-draining drama. And as you say, it is the kids at the more elite academic schools that are more apt to avoid entanglements er relationships.
Slipat, yes times have changed! Of course, the Catholic Church continued to oppose birth control after the pill became available, so the restraints on behavior also continued longer, to avoid pregnancy.
One other thing that we oldsters may recognize. Condoms were not see the same way decades ago. The AIDS crisis brought STD’s and public health concerns out in the open. These public health concerns arose because in the late 60’s people started having more partners due to the more permissive culture (yes, hooking up). Earlier, condoms were viewed more as protection for prostitutes, and they were stigmatized because of the association with one night-stands for money or otherwise. Now, guys just go in the drug store and pick them up fairly casually and there are even machines that dispense them.
These may seem like tangents but our attitudes about our young people sleeping with a partner are affected by history as much as by the present.
Regarding single parents, I was one with the kids spending every other weekend with the ex. As inparent states, I’d rather have had my kids anytime but one does what the court mandates, and they do need time with the other parent…
I did have relationships, but they were second fiddle to the parenting and if the ex was out of town, I was thrilled for any extra time with the kids.
Spending my late adolescence in a liberal community in the early '70s, boyfriends would stay over. No need to hide. My mother and I were always honest with each other.
Many will disagree with my thought process, but it’s ok…viva la difference! I think it’s special in life to have “firsts”. To be the “first” for someone and vice versa. Neither DH and I were virgins when we started dating, so no biggy to us about that in general. We discussed briefly our relationships and moved on.
But it is really nice knowing that he didn’t have multiple girlfriends staying in his bedroom at his parents house, (thinking they were all serious relationships). It’s nice being the new wife that got that honor…and vice versa. My Dad wouldn’t even let him spend the night at all in the house when we were dating…for 6 years…he had to stay at my aunts house. I thought that was over the top, but got used to it. He would say, (envision the Dad from My Big Fat Greek Wedding with arms flailin) “what if you don’t marry him, I’m not having people seeing boys come in and out, in and out, and thinking you are some sort of floozy, what kind of home is that they would wonder?!” Haha. I can still see him ranting.
There’s nothing wrong at all with how I feel about that, so no bashing. I understand it’s how we’ve been raised that oftentimes creates our opinions.