Remember those toddler trampolines with a little bar in the front to hang on to? Maybe I could get one sized up for me and watch TV while I jump up and down.
My almost-90 year old MIL is really struggling, while her husband is able, intellectually alive. For her, life is about getting through the day – and keeping bitterness and wistfulness (“I’ll never play tennis again…”) at bay. For him, life is making HER life as comfortable as possible to the detriment of his own.
I’m not sure this is a pretty picture 
I have friends dying of cancer right now in their 30’s, know people who have had widow makers in their 40’s, and know other’s who have died in car wrecks due to the fault not their own.
Live each life to the full, eat right, and that is about all we can do.
Yes, I know many people who have died—some after full long lives and some after very short ones. We can all only do our best to live our best lives and enjoy the time we have.
We also can’t remake the lives others have. There is much to cherish and enjoy in the world.
I see my relative who is 93. He used to criticize his older sister because she wasn’t DOING anything to contribute to the world. She became more and more of a recluse. She died a few years ago.
He is also becoming more and more of a recluse and is always wanting to “go home,” any time he’s taken out. When he’s home, he just watches sports or sits around. He doesn’t socialize with anyone at their SR community and refuses to exercise or participate in any activities.
His world and his wife’s world is shrinking because he is always just wanting to be in their little apartment.
I think it is understandable. I think once people get to a certain age, they get more exhausted on a daily basis, everything requires more effort, they become increasingly set in their ways and accustomed to their creature comforts of home.
My folks are in their 80s, still very active in and around the house and going out to do things but they don’t like to travel or be away from home overnight any longer. I’ve noticed a marked difference in the past few years. I;m sure the next 5-10 years, should they hopefully reach that, will see accelerated slowdowns and with that will come less socializing. We went out to dinner with them last night and they are increasingly becoming very set in their ways and regimented. I remind myself that I’ll increasingly need to remain patient, available, flexible, and understanding. I think a big challenge is one parent is becoming more blunt/having less filters. I don’t look forward to that accelerating.
@emilybee what do you mean “gets stretched”? I am interested in this.
I am happy that my parents, one 81 and the other almost 80, still like to go on African safaris! I hope they can keep doing that for awhile.
My Dad is 81 and I am challenged to keep up with his pace. You’d never guess he is that old. He lives in a retirement community that goes from completely independent all the way to full nursing care. Once you buy in, you are taken care of. It is SUCH an active community; he just loves living there.
He and his “girlfriend” are going on a cruise that will take them all over Europe . They have been “training” so that they can walk and walk to their hearts content on their various stops.
I can only hope to age so well.
@MaineLonghorn I want to be your parents when I grow up…
Article on professional stretching.
https://www.cnn.com/2017/05/23/health/professional-stretch-therapy-staying-well/index.html
Kind of place that does it.
https://www.stretchzone.com/method/
My mom goes twice a month.
Interesting! Although my husband would mock me for spending money having someone stretch me.
My parents are still active - extensive gardening, swimming and exercise classes several times a week, club meetings and dinners with friends - but big difference from late 70s, early 80s to now in their mid-80s. Their health is still great but each year of the past 5 years, there have been incremental signs of slowing down that do add up to a noticeable difference.
They’ve also lost quite a few friends over the past 5 years and other friends are not as healthy as them which takes a toll on one’s social network.
I think my dad had a very perceptible decline starting around age 80. He died at 84 1/2. He played tennis into his mid 70s. Two of my grandparents (dad’s mom, mom’s dad) lived at home, alone, until their deaths in their mid-80s.
Lots of people in the hiking club I joined tell me “You’ve got until 80”. These are hikers in their 60s and 70s telling me this.
What they mean is, as a general rule, things are going to change after 80. Get those trips in before then!
It’s motivating to see people squeezing so much out of life.
Dang H will be 80 sooner than later. Certainly saw major slow down in relatives once they hit mid to late 70s though. Oh well, we all just do our best.
https://www.runnersworld.com/runners-stories/a22160755/pole-vaulting-grandma/
Beat this. B-) Her bones must be quite strong.
My former MIL’s brother just died, age 84. He was the last of her three brothers to die. Her three sisters are still alive. They range in age from mid 70s to mid 90s (former MIL is 92). Their dad lived to age 92 or so and mom to age 101. I think the different longevity between the sexes in the family is interesting.
My mom and dad have had all their sibs die years ago. They are 88 and 93 respectively. Some of their in laws are still alive (spouses of their sibs). Mom isn’t even taking any Rx on a regular basis, so likely to be around for awhile. Many of their friends have also died. Their friendship circle and world does shrink as they age.
^ well my dad solved the friendship issue by making friends who were younger than he was. He passed away last year at age 85 but many of his buddies were in their 50’s and 60’s!