<p>Is this woman ever going to get over not getting into Harvard?</p>
<p>(completely joking!)</p>
<p>don’t think what this woman said is all that outrageous</p>
<p>It doesnt say much for her autonomy & independence.</p>
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<p>Just as some athletes- football players and cheerleaders, perhaps, look back to high school as " the best years of their lives", Patton does not sound any different from those who are looking backward to where they have been, instead of forward to where they are going.</p>
<p>I wonder if she realizes how sad she sounds?</p>
<p>Neither I nor my H have ever attended any four year college.
Now that you are stunned into silence, I will make a further confession.
I will take my life over Susan Pattons any day of the week.
:D</p>
<p>jonri, thanks, that was very interesting. I knew a bit about Hargadon, but am thankful that I was slightly before his time, or I might not have gotten in!</p>
<p>I guess you can never win been a woman. You chose your career and you are getting too old for a family. You choose a family and by the time the kids are older you can kiss a meaningful career goodbye. You choose both: your boss says he cannot count on you because you miss too many days taking care of personal problems, your husband says you spend too much time working. On top of that you still have to look like a million bucks!</p>
<p>Actually what I see are men as well as women choosing a slower path so that they can have more time with their family. Many couples are sharing the responsibilities of child raising and paying the bills. Its not always the woman who has the more flexible job.
It was true with parents of my generation and it is even more common with parents in their 40’s, 30’s & 20’s.
Of course that depends on what you call a " meaningful" career.</p>
<p>If you mean a job that is so time intensive that you need to farm out all chores related to keeping a home and raising a family, then yes, your employer is likely to look askance at you scheduling time off so you can attend a talent show in your child’s class or even staying home with them when they are ill. </p>
<p>I would agree that some people have difficulty deciding what is important to them.
Perhaps every one should take a logic class in school so they can learn to set priorities.</p>
<p>Sounds like advice to “lean-in” for those who see marriage and family as an important goal. Would have been better if had been directed at both male and female students though.</p>
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<p>Women don’t refuse to date a man because he graduated from Princeton. But some men will refuse to date a woman for that reason. It doesn’t make sense, but it happens.</p>
<p>To be fair to Patton, many women/ men go through a whiny period following the end of a long term relationship, where they try and rationalize their actions to try and make themselves feel better.
But most of us wont give interviews during that period where our comments will be picked apart and waved around.</p>
<p>I do not think she is wrong, and am laughing at the negativity towards Ms. Patton. I have a few sons, myself and know they can take their time getting married and starting families. And yes, there are different ways of having children than the conventional way, but women’s fertility declines the closer they get to 35. Infertility treatments are expensive and do not always work, as is adoption. Adoptions are not cheap. </p>
<p>I also have a daughter. She is in college now and is too busy to date. I am not concerned that she is behind the 8 ball not having a pool of possible mates, but I will say that a time will come when she is concerned about it. Nobody is saying you have to be 22 and a college grad and engaged, but if it doesn’t happen by 30 it will be a different ballgame. </p>
<p>I know many women in their late 20’s starting to panic a little about it, as a family member who didn’t find a mate until her 40’s. it was a difficult transition marrying someone as set in her ways as she was, as it was for her new husband who was prebiously married. She missed that childbearing time frame, and opted not to adopt due to her demanding work schedule. She still grieves over this missed opportunity. </p>
<p>I married while in college and fortunately found my soulmate. We had common interests and similar temperaments. If I had to do it all again, I still would marry him. We grew up together. Is that for everyone? Nope. I don’t think there is an ideal time to get married, and even that is not for everyone. </p>
<p>Some of the young women I know in their 20’s work in schools…where do you meet that guy? Bars? At the grocery store? eharmony? church? Certainly not at parent teacher conferences! </p>
<p>It may not be a PC or popular sentiment, but she is right about men dating younger women. Dead on.</p>
<p>Theres this pretty cool invention called the internets…</p>
<p>It is a lot easier shopping on Amazon for books than spouses. They tend to represent reality better than living, breathing humans on dating sites! </p>
<p>My sister did that route. I am not going to say that it was the best way to go, for her. Let’s say that there were some significant exaggerations on their dating profiles, and some very different values that were not readily apparent at beginning of relationship. Not calling him a liar, but…yeah, said he was divorced. If you want to say living with spouse but considering legal separation, than okay.</p>
<p>It isn’t always possible - or even smart - to date your colleagues at work, either. What happens if relationship doesn’t work out and then it is awkward?</p>
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<p>no one hides parts of their personalities in real life… right???</p>
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<p>I think it’s much harder to hide your true self/parts of oneself on an online dating profile/social networking site than IRL…especially if the other date is observant of other people’s behavior.</p>
<p>“It may not be a PC or popular sentiment, but she is right about men dating younger women. Dead on.”</p>
<p>Yep, seeing that one with our divorced male middle aged friends and co-workers. They sure aren’t dating older women.</p>
<p>“I am not concerned that she is behind the 8 ball not having a pool of possible mates, but I will say that a time will come when she is concerned about it.”</p>
<p>Seeing as I have dibs on her as a daughter in law, I’m hoping she isn’t arranging a pool of possible mates!</p>
<p>It might be more difficult, but not much. Really, people have been in relationships for years before another side of a personality comes out.</p>
<p>"I wonder if she realizes how sad she sounds?</p>
<p>Neither I nor my H have ever attended any four year college.
Now that you are stunned into silence, I will make a further confession.
I will take my life over Susan Pattons any day of the week."</p>
<p>She sounds very sad. Still having all that resentment and angst over the ex-husband. I’ll bet most women angry about the ex think they “married down”.</p>
<p>No four year college? The horror, the horror, we are so shocked! You know, I honestly don’t think I got any smarter nor learned anything that I remember now, by going to college. It was just checking a block to get to a destination.</p>
<p>Busdriver, </p>
<p>Ha ha! We can only hope, eh?</p>
<p>I finally got around to reading her article. Wasn’t funny, wasn’t sad. She had some truths in there but some pretty “off” things as well. </p>
<p>I still don’t envy her kid. I just wouldn’t want her to be my MIL.</p>
<p>Like any opinion, it is her own. I may see some truths, some fallacies. </p>
<p>The article did made me realize how pretentious some selective universities alums really are.</p>