<p>[You</a> Can Do Anything: Must Every Kids’ Movie Reinforce the Cult of Self-Esteem? - Luke Epplin - The Atlantic](<a href=“You Can Do Anything: Must Every Kids' Movie Reinforce the Cult of Self-Esteem? - The Atlantic”>You Can Do Anything: Must Every Kids' Movie Reinforce the Cult of Self-Esteem? - The Atlantic)</p>
<p>Anyone else read this piece? Would love to know thoughts/opinions.</p>
<p>Where do kids go these days to find defeat much less learn how to deal with it? Theyve been brought up to reach for the stars (or dance with them) and value only success. At least at BS, this message of lottery results with little effort is brutally challenged. How many kids show up that first year with perfect records only to struggle for Bs as they learn the hard way that their usual effort just isnt going to cut it? How many take a hit to their self-esteem when they find themselves competing for the first time in a pool of kids every bit as good and better than they are? How many came prepared for that when theyve grown up with the false message that they are all little engines that can, not could? And how many parents have cringed while watching this leveling happen?</p>
<p>I grew up on Charlie Brown and his failures. We just said, Rats, and moved on. Who knew what a valuable lesson that was? Maybe its time to make A Boy Named Charlie Brown required viewing. Excuse me while I go see if I can put that in my Netflix queue.</p>
<p>Here’s a related article about how the child consumers of that ‘anything-is-always possible’ message in popular media grow up into unrealistic adults
<a href=“http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3930620[/url]”>http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3930620</a>
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<p>I love the cartoon:
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<p>This feels very apropos to my life; just yesterday, I was bemoaning the fact that I hadn’t done enough as a mother to crush my children’s self-esteem! :-)</p>
<p>But seriously, although this is a clear problem in the larger culture and there is plenty of room between making kids believe they can have/do/be anything and crushing their spirits, it doesn’t bother me if children’s movies have unrealistically hopeful messages. Haven’t fairy tales throughout history fostered similarly unrealistic hopes?</p>
<p>Good article GMTplus7 - sharing with my kids (with luck, their generation will have more sense).</p>
<p>The fairy tales I was fed as a kid weren’t all Cinderella stories. Sometimes the hapless protagonist got eaten by a wolf wearing drag, or froze to death trying to sell matches.</p>
<p>Articles about unrealistic gen y expectations are only useful in light of the fact that they are the first American generation expected to do worse than their parents. </p>
<p>I’m sure they wish they were lucky enough to have had thd greatest generation as parents rather than the me me me generation who left them with this mess.</p>
<p>True enough, even if you don’t count Andersen’s stories. But they probably gave hope to a lot of third sons and daughters…</p>
<p>Here’s a funny link
<a href=“http://www.cracked.com/article_16905_7-classic-disney-movies-that-taught-us-terrible-lessons.html[/url]”>http://www.cracked.com/article_16905_7-classic-disney-movies-that-taught-us-terrible-lessons.html</a></p>
<p>I have meant to update my Episcopal High School (EHS) thread to include a discussion about their annual Burch Trip. This thread hit a nerve, in a good way.</p>
<p>The Burch Trip is a five day hike on the Appalachian Trail for all freshman. No running water, no shelter, no iPhones, nor comforts of our modern day world. The class is divided into groups of 10 with one faculty and one Outward Bound guide. Their backpacks weigh 25-30 lbs and each group has to start and finish the approximate 25 mile trek, which includes challenging trails, rock climbing, leadership training, etc. While it is viewed an opportunity to bond the freshman class, many consider Burch a milestone and a turning point; the 9th graders immediately sense that they are perceived differently upon their return. EHS seems a little more like home. </p>
<p>After five days of hiking, my DS returned to EHS last night.</p>
<p>Last Friday we received an email announcement from an EHS faculty indicating our trail warriors had departed. Expect no direct communication and the only updates we would receive would be occasional pictures from an EHS faculty on Instragram. However the letter was more than a do not worry letter. It was an explanation of the importance of the Burch Trip. </p>
<p>One of the 9th grade Deans wrote, “When they return en masse on Tuesday evening, I expect to hear wonderful stories of teamwork, individual strength, personal revelation and pride, and moments of joy and humor. I also expect to hear a fair amount of complaining and accounts of hardships and unsolved challenges. Good. Burch stretches students physically and emotionally, and though for some it is more of a challenge than for others, it teaches resilience to all.”</p>
<p>Over the summer the EHS faculty read, watched and listened to a variety of articles that examined the idea of resiliency. She concluded in her letter, “To us, resilience began to mean encountering hardship, challenge, and even failure, and learning, bouncing back, and growing stronger as a direct result.”</p>
<p>As I read the letter, I smiled with approval. My DS probably will be dog tired from a long hike and have to sleep on the uneven ground, be cold from the rain, have to persevere up a rock wall, and help a fellow classmate who needed a temporary break. Excellent. Yes, oh yes, he was going to have to struggle. This trip was not as much about getting to know his classmates, it was DS getting to know and testing his physical and mental boundaries and becoming a more independent, yet caring, and more resilient individual. </p>
<p>When we saw his call come in last night, DW, DD and I quickly gathered around the speaker phone. “How was your hike?” He responded with one word, “Amazing!” We looked at each other with glee and fist pumped. His excitement was obvious. He sounded different, more confident, more prideful. The hike was very hard, some cried - they could not go on. But they did. He did provide a day by day recap, but I won’t bore you with those details. After we hung up, we concluded his perception of himself had changed. He and (and his classmates) had conquered their personal limits through perseverance. Thankfully EHS did not try to shield them from distress and failure!</p>
<p>The EHS letter that I referenced concluded by providing many links to learning and practicing resilience. I wanted to share one that resonated with me and hence my attraction to the comments on this thread. When you have time, read “A Nation of Whimps” by Hara Marano.</p>
<p>[A</a> Nation of Wimps | Psychology Today](<a href=“http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200411/nation-wimps]A”>A Nation of Wimps | Psychology Today)</p>
<p>^^Our son has this experience a couple of times a year with his Boy Scout troop which is heavily into survival hiking and extreme camping. There is nothing like it for stretching them to their physical limits and teaching them respect for nature, the elements, and each other. We have issues with some of the BSA politics, but the lessons learned under these circumstances cannot be duplicated elsewhere. I admire the schools that incorporate wilderness skills into their curriculums. This is a really good example of rewards that are hard won and character enriching for a lifetime rather than applause driven for the moment.</p>
<p><a href=“Opinion | Losing Is Good for You - The New York Times”>Opinion | Losing Is Good for You - The New York Times;
<p>There must really be a problem with kids these days…a few too many articles from various sources on similar topics. This is just one of two NYT pieces that different acquaintances posted on their FB pages today.</p>
<p>It’s o.k., let them enjoy their real or imagined successes now. The college application process in their senior year will be the great leveler!</p>
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<p>Bring it on!! :D</p>
<p>Don’t get me wrong, I believe in people following their dreams and encouraging our kids to do so. </p>
<p>Where I think what “Magic Feather Syndrome” fails its audience is in how it sidesteps all the sweat, hard work, frustration, and even failure that goes into the process. As Debbie Allen’s character said to a studio full of dancers at the beginning of the movie Fame, “You’ve got big dreams? You want fame? Well, fame costs. And right here is where you start paying … in sweat.”</p>
<p>If anything, I think what today’s young people have largely been shielded from by their parents (us) is sweat (both literal and otherwise).</p>
<p>oh, SevenDad. So happy to hear you quote the best part in “Fame.” I do my Debbie Allen impersonation and quote that at my students at least twice a year. They have never seen the source material and so have no clue what I’m doing, but that has never stopped me and it never will.</p>