Manhattan mom sues $19K/yr. preschool for damaging daughter's Ivy League chances

Parents Forum
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<p>@POIH
The main conversation here seems to be geared towards a financial topic so ill try to keep it brief. What bothers me here is the elitism that I sense. There is no need for a 4-5 year old to be taking admissions tests. It just seems stupid. I respect you trying to give your child the best education it deserves but at what costs to yourself and to your child. That age is about learning and development, not being pressured into taking an exam. It seems, though on a much smaller scale, like the terrible mothers who force their children to go to child beauty pageants and put the kids through hell to win it. Now i understand you are in no way like that but it bothers me that there is this sense of elitism for 4-5 year olds. That age is about fun. </p>

<p>@UBERVILLE
You said your parents were angry because you played with the so-called “stupid” kids. Thats terrible. In my high school I had to work my way up to the honors track and made friends in both the regular and honors level classes however when I reached the honors track I was upset that the regular kids were called the “dumb” or “stupid” kids. They may not be as smart as you and I, but they deserve better treatment. They deserve to be treated with the same dignity and respect as one’s “smart” peers. Not being allowed to play with the “stupid” kids is just wrong and angers me quite a bit. As a child I was taught to play with everyone, no matter who they were, or what their strengths were. In all honesty it helps with development because it taught me to help those who aren’t as fortunate. (Which is why I tutor at my school.) We shouldn’t shun these people away.</p>

<p>Then you mentioned the feeling of superiority and confidence. These are two completely different things. It is great to have confidence but one has to be careful with feeling superior. I am very confident in my abilities but I don’t feel superior to anyone. I guess my academics are superior to others but I am not superior. I am going to assume you meant the same thing but you can see how this can potentially lead to a false sense on entitlement among other students. Oh and as for the child feeling like garbage in his/her “dream” (every 4 year old has one) kindergarten. Its kindergarten, the child will be just fine. When the time comes for college, it will be up to the child then to do the work necessary to get in.</p>

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<p>So POIH, in numbers today your princess should rack up about $340,000 before college? Wow, is that MIT education that much more valuable than my D’s? Not even close. Some people are stupid when they think that paying money for something makes it valuable. Think again.</p>

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<p>Being on the East Coast, and thus having already enjoyed the green beverages, I can finally confess the conspiracy theory which popped in my mind upon first reading the original post … the woman bringing the lawsuit is angling to get a spot on the next season of * The Real Housewives of New York City. *</p>

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<p>I think it should be the “Real snobs that hob nob at MIT”</p>

<p>Well…only if you go to preschool and Harker.</p>

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<p>GA2012MOM –
Oh, please … the housewives would never send their children to a trade school!</p>

<p><em>ducking</em></p>

<p>gio1126 –
I’d hate to speak for uberville (no, really, I’d to speak for him – ■■■■■ germs and all that), but I really read his post as a bit of a parody.</p>

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<p>Regarding the “sense of entitlement and superiority”, where do you think the Wall Street mess and bailout originated?</p>

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<p>I guess I’m unnecessarily personalizing, too; my first thought was that it is a good thing that I didn’t read this study when I chose not to send my daughter to preschool. I would have been really confused when it turned out that she was one of only two children in her kindergarten class who could read when she started kindergarten.</p>

<p>Of course we personalize. The only experience we have is personal experience.</p>

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<p>Of course they don’t. This is why I’ve learned (from embarrassing experience) that when I’m in a group of people around my age who grew up in the New York area, I can never say where I went to high school without risking outing myself, because there’s a good chance there might be somebody like you listening.</p>

<p>I knew that when I mentioned the school in this thread, of course, but this isn’t real life and I don’t particularly care. It isn’t as if I’ve kept my history a great big secret around here.</p>

<p>If you haven’t figured it out yet, let’s just say that to the best of my knowledge, the only women to graduate from that particular school for a period of 40 or 50 years (it was co-educational originally) were Renee Richards and yours truly. She went to the same college I did, too.</p>

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<p>@illryia
It probably was parody (I feel stupid lol) but ethier way I stand by what I said. The sad thing is these kinds of parents exist and it unsettling.
Sent from my MB200 using CC App</p>

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<p>Adding this to my list of favorite CC quotes. :slight_smile: I think this could make a great t-shirt.
<your school=“” of=“” choice=“”>: Making geniuses succeed more reliably and efficiently since <date of=“” founding=“”>
:D</date></your></p>

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<p>See, I don’t know about your D and you need to ask her whether or not she miss anything by not going to MIT. </p>

<p>To me it’s worth each penny because even if I want to spend that money I won’t be able to get that experience. </p>

<p>In my view there is no price to such a valuable experience. If today MIT had cost 70000 instead of 55000/60000 I still would have paid so I’m not sure when it won’t be worth the money to me.</p>

<p>It’s you who have to make up mind whether or not MIT education is worth.</p>

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<p>So people who value ivies are the only ones who value learning? look I get that ivies open many doors but you don’t have to go to one to value learning. What about the B student who wont make it into an ivy but is always studying. He values learning </p>

<p>Sent from my MB200 using CC App</p>

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<p>I am the first to admit I have no college education. I do however have a daughter at Amherst, with no preschool, and public school after that. I am smart enough to know that my D is getting a comparable education to your daughter, and I didn’t pay anything but taxes for mine. Now who is smart?</p>

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<p>SlitheyTov: Actually, I LOVE your suggestion for the t shirt…but to add (for the self involved and self importent)</p>

<p>The Jones Family (pictured): making geniuses…since (date of marriage or birth of first child).</p>

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<p>ellebud - I love that t shirt! I want to make one for my sister who is convinced her four grandsons are all certified geniuses. Of course they’d have to skip over pictures of her 2 sons, just grandparents then grandsons. Wow, their 45th anniversary is coming up, what a great gift, thanks!</p>

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<p>Wait, MIT isn’t Ivy League. I’m so confused…</p>

<p>Ooh, just saw the other t-shirt suggestion. We could definitely have “The ___Family…Making Geniuses Since 1983”</p>

<p>;)</p>

<p>My DH’s skills (and lacks) complement mine, so we say between the two of us we’re practically perfect. </p>

<p>But maybe it was just that low-budget (but EXCELLENT!) preschool that should take all the credit?</p>

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<p>hmm … I’m an a grad of an IVY, of Stanford, and of MIT … and I think elite schools are great and can yield a better experience for some students … but I do not think, in any way, think they are the end-all be-all of education. For some I do think they can be better but the incremental benefit is a tough ROI argument if the cost is a major burden for a family as there are so many other perfectly fine alternatives. Alternatives that might even be a better education choice for some … at his point for one of my three I’d say a non-elite school would be the best environment for college.</p>

<p>A couple years ago on CC there was a discussion on the value of prep schools … and one poster raised the idea that any family would choose prep school if the cost was free … Mom3ToGo and I have had this discussion and not only would we not switch our kids from our public high school to go to prep school if the cost was free … we would have to be paid a substantial incentive to move them from our great public schools to a prep school. </p>

<p>Frankly, for me, one of the main cons to prep schools / elite colleges is that there is a non-zero percentage of attendees who then think experiece was not only a great experience but that no other alternative is worthy or possibly comparable.</p>

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<p>"So POIH, in numbers today your princess should rack up about $340,000 before college? Wow, is that MIT education that much more valuable than my D’s? Not even close. Some people are stupid when they think that paying money for something makes it valuable. Think again. "</p>

<p>You’re absolutely right, why would people who have the money to comfortably do so spend it on giving their kids the best possible experience and education they can afford? What kind of values do those people have? Obviously they should pocket that money and spend it on vacations for themselves, that’s a far better use of their money than throwing it away on their silly children. Children are resilient anyway, who cares if they are challenged in school or fit in there, they will survive anyway. As long as you hold on to that extra money to spend on yourself, even though your needs are sufficiently met anyway, that’s what’s important.</p>

<p>Remember that, people: It is NUTS to spend money on your children, regardless of the fact that you have the means to do so.</p>

<p>As for the kids, who cares? Just send them to Seward Park High School (see #228). Well it’s closed now, but whatever the next one is. </p>

<p>“I do however have a daughter at Amherst, with no preschool, and public school after that.”</p>

<p>And I’m sure that that public schools that your kid went to was just like Seward Park High School and its feeders, and/or if you’d had the means to do “better” than Seward Park High School and its feeders, you would have sent your kid to those public schools anyway, regardless of what they were like, and kept the money and gone on vacations to Europe (without your kid) every year. Because it’s just insane to spend money on your kid, even if you have the money. Who cares if they are bored at school, have no friends and are not challenged? Kids are reslient.</p>

<p>“She went to the same college I did, too.”</p>

<p>Along with, what, 10- 15 of your other classmates? Inslee Clark didn’t seem to do you people any harm; we were all jealous.</p>

<p>But of course all those parents were insane, the kids would have had just the same experience along the way, and would have been equally prepared for the subsequent demands of college, if they’d attended Seward Park High School and its feeders, for free.</p>

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<p>There are some voices chiming in that the $19k fee is reasonable if the parents want their students to avoid a negative education path. Has anyone ever considered that the pre and elem school their child goes to doesn’t change how smart their child is?</p>

<p>I come from a poor family from a foreign nation. I went to these poor schools filled with future dropouts, in both Russia and America (Florida specifically…#47 or #48 in the nation for public ed at the time I believe), and all those stereotypes parents want to avoid. Until high school, I didn’t fit into any academically accelerated programs.</p>

<p>If your child doesn’t turn out as smart as they could be, its your own fault. Not the schools.</p>

<p>I got a 33 on the ACT and scored similarly high on the SAT…and I’m going to Northwestern U for engineering next year.</p>

<p>I won’t go into my life history, but basically I can attribute my success partly to my mom, who took the time to actually teach me things after school rather than relying on the school to teach me everything.</p>

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<p>For some I do think they can be better but the incremental benefit is a tough ROI argument if the cost is a major burden for a family as there are so many other perfectly fine alternatives.</p>

<p>Well put! </p>

<p>basically I can attribute my success partly to my mom, who took the time to actually teach me things after school rather than relying on the school to teach me everything.</p>

<p>Eggzackly. I cannot imagine any pricey preschool or even prep school that could give my kids a better education than my DH has given them in home school. They get one-on-one tutoring every single school day. It’s hard to beat that kind of personal attention. And it’s 100% FREE.</p>