<p>plantsvs: My prediction is you will not put your own kids in those same schools, when it’s your turn and you have a choice. It’s not all about being smart, it’s also about the ride.</p>
<p>"Eggzackly. I cannot imagine any pricey preschool or even prep school that could give my kids a better education than my DH has given them in home school. They get one-on-one tutoring every single school day. It’s hard to beat that kind of personal attention. And it’s 100% FREE. "</p>
<p>Possibly the best situation of all, however the opportunity cost of an adult’s diversion from full-time work is a heck of a lot more than $19,000 in many cases. You are actually paying MORE, in terms of forgone wages, than these people are paying. Or at least that would be the case for many working professionals in Manhattan who elect to give up their careers, stay at home and home school their kids. I think it can be worth it, if you have the means to do so. But that’s yet a greater financial sacrifice than all the people here are harping about.</p>
<p>LOL. That seems like rather mis-applied snark to me. People who care about financial aid – mainly because they need it (what a concept, eh?) – tend not to be the same people who pay $19K for preschool. If you know what I mean. (Where’s that rolleyes emoticon when I need it?)</p>
<p>monydad–point taken. In our family, I am the breadwinner, because my field (advertising) pays more than DH’s field. Also, DH is far more qualified to home-school than I am. But we are far from rich, and we get by on one salary largely because we are frugal. It also helps that we live in NC, not Manhattan. Those are the choices one makes.</p>
<p>Most home-schoolers are not wealthy; in fact, many are lower middle income. Yes, they have chosen to give up two incomes; yes, they get by on one. But this is not a huge sacrifice if a family lives modestly in a non-expensive area. Home-schooling can be a very practical option.</p>
<p>No argument here at all, however if your job was in Manhattan a house in NC might not be so practical an alternative.</p>
<p>My wife’s brother was talking recently about maybe retiring in NC, he’d done some investigating and concluded the cost of living, or maybe it was medical care, would be about 1/4 of the cost here.</p>
<p>Lady Di-
There are lots of people who live at or above their means, paying for expensive preschools, cars, toys, housing, what have you, and dont save for college expenses. Many either dont think about it early enough or figure their kid will get the oboe or lacrosse scholarship. I think whoever posted that comment about the FA lament in 14 yrs was right-- not snarky. There are far more of these parents out there than one might think. Do you remember, for example, the article a few months back about the dad of a kid at NYU who lost his high end wall street job, had a huge house in NJ and was desperate for FA to keep his kid in shcool? There are lots of people who spend on things that seem appropriate, but have precious little reserve in the bank for college or a rainy day.</p>
<p>And guess what, there are plenty of people in Manhattan who live on one income either by choice, misfortune, or circumstance. Someone who works for me would give a kidney to home-school her kids- but a dead husband took that option off the table. And she takes care of an ill mother-in-law so moving to your wonderful, inexpensive neighborhoods is not an option right now.</p>
<p>I know it’s hard to believe but people in NC and other places don’t have a monopoly on virtue or frugal living.</p>
<p>While I could do without the incessant Harker promoting (I’m sure it’s an excellent school, okay? enough already), I fail to see what’s wrong with POIH spending his hard-earned money on his daughter’s education. What possible better use of money is there? Furs, diamonds and fancy cars? Why shouldn’t he pay for his daughter at an elite school, when she’s undoubtedly very bright? What else should he do with his money? It’s not hurting anybody.</p>
<p>I have not read through this entire thread, but my D and I both went through the NYC private school system, and my wife is involved in the process. This mother had just committed prep school suicide. Having now sued a school, and having made sure that the lawsuit got into the NYC newspaper and TV news, no elite prep school will EVER accept her little darling into their school. Much of the admission process for such young children is based upon the parents and not so much on the kid. After all, there’s not much of a track record on such a young kid. NYC prep schools look for good PARENTS of applicants, which means a stable household and interested but not annoying parents. Having firmly establishing herself as a thoroughly annoying parent, no prep school will want her in their family for fear that she will interfere with school operations and sue again. That’s why in NYC and most places, residential landlords do not want to rent to lawyers, since lawyers tend to cause trouble and will sue. If the mom could afford the tuition (as she obviously could when she applied), after pulling her kid out, she should simply have absorbed the loss. In ALL private NYC schools, the parents sign a contract which says that the tuition is non-refundable. The reason is very simple. The school had a limited number of places for students. Finances for the school are based upon full classrooms, i.e. teacher salaries, rent, expenses, etc. etc. For NYC pre-schools (and pre schools), for every seat in the classroom, there are at least 10 applicants, usually more depending upon the school. And the applications process ends in March when acceptances (and rejections) are sent out and parents sign contracts for the following September. If one parent backs out after 2 weeks of school in September, the school has no one to fill that seat which 9 others could not get. The idea of contracts is thousands of years old. The preschool relied upon the mom’s acceptance of the offer and rejected other kids in her stead. If I were the judge, I’d throw the case out of court in a second. Seems to me, she’s looking for a reality show or movie.</p>
<p>I don’t have a problem with POIH spending his money on his D’s education. I do have a problem with him assuming kids that don’t go to private schools starting at age 4 are going to end up being blundering idiots.</p>
<p>The threads that turn this direction always seem like Groundhog Day to me. Everyone wants to rationalize what decision they have made for their children, and assume that anyone who made other choices are wrong and are putting others down.</p>
<p>Some are happy with their public school choices and feel like their kids got a great education at no/low cost to them. Wonderful. Others chose the private school route and were happy with that, feeling like they got their money’s worth. Again wonderful. So for those whom are pleased with how things worked out, why would you care how much others spent on their children’s education? Maybe you think it wasn’t worth the money, but they do feel it was worth the sacrifice. Or perhaps some unhappy people feel it wasn’t, but it was their money that was spent .But if you are happy with your children’s options, why be jealous of others and accuse them of being elitist?</p>
<p>None of schools in the USA measure up to the rest of the world, if it makes anybody happy, pay or no pay, it is really up to a family to make little step in positive territory so to speak. Immigrants from Africa are appalled at low level in k-12, I have talked to several who wanted to send their children back home for schooling.</p>
<p>Here after saying that, there is tons that family can do sending to Ivy or not, attitude will make a difference. There are remedial help at colleges at every level, including lots of foreign students and others who simply went beyond their HS program ahd whose parents involved thmeselves closer with thier kids education. </p>
<p>On a positive side, poor woman in OP’s article will not have enough with $19,000 to restore her mental health. Apparently she is vey sick and based on that alone should not be awarded that money, too little, too late in her case, $$ will be wasted, IMO.</p>
We had this choice, my parents offered to pay for prep school for our kids. We did know that they were missing out on some things, but they gained so much from their public school even though it was far from perfect we did not take my parents up on the offer.</p>
<p>What people opt to spend on their children’s education is, to me, a matter to be decided family to family, each to its own wisdom and circumstance. Opting, however, to not buy the most expensive education available, but rather to spend a bit less, does not necessarily indicate that the money will be going instead for parental European vacations or furs and diamonds. </p>
<p>With the rich variety of private and other school options in my area, for instance, it would be quite possible for a family to choose a path of pre-college education with a total cost 100K less than another path. Yet children from either path present themselves well to the Ivies and such. The family that spent, say, 300K total for the pre-college years rather than 400K didn’t necessarily toss the money around on luxury purchases. They might have decided to give the child an advantage at the end of the college years, rather than before college, such as a 100K downpayment on a home. </p>
<p>Limiting the time paying rent, bringing forward the time that the college graduate instead uses income to build equity, and actually decreasing the child’s total lifetime expenditure on housing might be considered at least as wise as taking the 400K path before high school. It might actually be a benefit, in the long run, not only to the child but to the grandchildren, as well.</p>
<p>Certainly there are parents who have the money to offer both the 400K path and the downpayment, and there many more who don’t have the money for either. This was just an example of one possible answer to the question, “What possible better use of money is there?” I imagine there are many, equally as non-selfish, others.</p>
<p>Well, actually the waiting list is long gone by April and certainly by the 2nd week of school in September. All of the kids who were on the wait list are already in other schools by the 2nd week of September when that heliocopter mother pulled her kid out of school.</p>
<p>Taking the angle of ivy admissions out of the equation, preschool/kindergarten can be worthwhile if done the right way. And some can be better than others. It’s not unreasonable to be upset if you are paying 19K and your child is basically getting daycare. My feeling is that there is such a market for “the right school” in Manhattan that people get scammed out of their money. Who knows? Maybe the 10K schools leave bottles of windex on the floor and have toys made of asbestos. </p>
<p>The outrage here of paying so much for preschool reminds me a little of people paying exorbinant amounts for birthday parties in Hollywood. One actor pointed out they were paying so much partly because the birthday party people knew that they could charge anything, not necessarily because the party was actually worth that much. The $1000 llama they brought in actually was just a regular old llama. It just becomes a deluxe llama when Brad Pitt asks for one.</p>