<p>My only concern is the narrow focus on strictly academics that seems to be so prevalent on this forum</p>
<p>Really? At CC? An overly narrow focus on academic success? I’m shocked, shocked…</p>
<p>All kidding aside, that bothers me as well. :)</p>
<p>This article is…</p>
<p>Words can’t describe my frustration.</p>
<p>Gotta love how ppl could get sued for w/e reasons…</p>
<p>On a related note: For some reason I’ve read like 5 NYDailyNews articles in the past day and they’ve been really entertaining, including this one. I really like their style of “reporting”. Gives you the news, yet in a wry and blatantly slanted fashion. It’s like a written version of the Daily Show. </p>
<p>Take this sample from an article on Libya:
"In Tripoli, Khadafy’s supporters gathered around his compound - apparently to serve as human shields against a direct attack on the despot.</p>
<p>Armored trucks with anti-aircraft guns surrounded the headquarters and Khadafy’s daughter Aisha shouted praise for her father from a 4-by-4 vehicle. “God, Libya, Khadafy. That’s all,” she chanted.</p>
<p>Fearing a Western onslaught, Khadafy on Friday declared a ceasefire against the rebels - but it was a predictable farce."</p>
<p>And at least she knocked that annoying Tiger Mother out of the headlines for a while.</p>
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<p>She’s not much of an improvement over the “Tiger Mother”. She’s exactly the type of upper/upper-middle class Manhattanite parent who’d send kids to private schools not only for the educational benefits, but also as a way to shelter them from kids who are middle and working-class…regardless of their demeanor, intellect, or work ethic. </p>
<p>I also don’t see her as any different from the “Tiger Mom” considering her obsession with academics at an “elite” pre-school at such an early age. </p>
<p>If anything, she reminds me of two classmates who came from that social milieu. </p>
<p>One was an older HS classmate who ended up having an emotional meltdown at the end of her last semester in high school because she received one 95 in a 4-year record filled with nothing but 99s(Most teachers don’t give 100s) despite having already gained EA to Harvard some months back. </p>
<p>Another was a younger classmate whose upper-east sider parents placed her in every expensive private elite programs from pre-school till 9th grade. The academic pressures from their high expectations were such that she developed serious stress-related medical problems at 15…especially considering she was trying to graduate #1. Heard from several classmates in her class that she didn’t handle losing that #1 spot to another student well when her graduation came despite gaining EA to another HYP school.</p>
<p>I didn’t mean to say that 19K mom was an improvement, just that I was tiring of the seemingly endless discussion of the relative merits of tiger momming. Also, Tiger Mom now claims that she only meant her book as a “quirky, comical memoir.”</p>
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<p>That’s very kind of you, POIH, but he’s not MIT material. In fact, he’s never taken any honors science courses (unlike his sister, who took AP Bio and AP Chem), he’s not taking any science this year as a senior, and mathematically, he’s only in Calc AB. He’s not the MIT type at all and his interest areas of history, political science, and IR aren’t MIT’s core strengths.</p>
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<p>You know, being so invested in knowing this kind of detail about classmates is kind of Tiger-ish in its own way. Engaging in gossip that so-and-so didn’t handle losing the #1 spot to another student well isn’t anything to brag about, either. Either way, whether it’s the Tiger Mom knowing what everyone else did in the classroom to ensure her kid is #1, or cattily discussing what other people thought / did / felt – it’s all the same thing, IMO.</p>
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<p>It is kinda hard to miss when this was used by the Dean in a chat with some of us non-seniors as an example of how NOT to act by losing all perspective regarding GPAs, college admissions, etc…especially when this has been a common issue at our school in the pas…and seems to be prevalent among those coming from private schools. </p>
<p>Also, I don’t see why you’re singling out my anecdotes when others commenters have cited their own anecdotes regarding this issue. I’m just providing two examples of possible negative outcomes as a result of parents who obsess over academics at the pre-school stage to the point of suing one such pre-school for “not being academic enough” and consequently…placing far too much pressure on their children.</p>
<p>Cobrat - you just seem very negative of anyone who didn’t have the same upbringing as you. Just because someone was brought up living in a nicer neighborhood with parents with more means who could afford few more extras doesn’t mean he/she is doomed for life. I am sure it serves your purpose to point out those few cases, but there are a lot of well adjusted kids who came from those “upper middle class” families.</p>
<p>Can someone tell me where exactly in the article it mentions that the mom specifically sued the school because her daughter’s chances at the Ivy League were damaged? Maybe I’m not a very good reader, but these are the only places I could find where the article mentions the Ivy League</p>
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<p>The connection between the mom suing the preschool and her daughter’s Ivy League chances seems incredibly weak. Plus the article sounds really biased, and this is from the New York Daily News. But I could be missing something.</p>
<p>It looks to me like she sued the school because the school would not refund her tuition when she pulled the kid out after only a few weeks. The petition claims that the school promised her X,Y and Z, and did not deliver X,Y and Z. Her lawyer decided (now probably regrettably so) to quote articles in the petition about how the right preschool can get you into Harvard, etc. </p>
<p>It isn’t the first time someone has dropped out of a school early on (preschool, private school, college) and sued to get tuition back. If I enrolled my 4 year old child in a preschool and thought he would be with other 4 year olds and he was instead the only 4 year old in a 2 year old class, I would pull him out and demand my $ back. I don’t know that the mom deserves all the bad press.</p>
<p>cobrat, don’t listen to the naysayers. You have a healthy sense of perspective, and I hope you keep it.</p>
<p>Sheesh, y’all, enough with the personal attacks, already.</p>
<p>^^</p>
<p>LadyDianeski,</p>
<p>Some here are probably upset I pointed out how statements such as:</p>
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<p>is symptomatic of a blinkered perspective considering how the vast majority of Manhattanites and tri-staters…even those in the upper-middle classes do not have the finances and/or the living space to hire full-time live-in help. It is an option only available to a tiny subset of them. </p>
<p>Moreover, considering the story being cited by the OP, I do feel it is important to point out how many parents’ reasons for sending their kids may be motivated just as much, if not more by the need to keep their kids from having to associate with those from the “lower orders” so their “inferiority” won’t somehow rub off on them. She certainly seems to fit the type based on my observations as a born and bred New Yorker and from having met some like her IRL in educational and work settings.</p>
<p>If you are from New York, you would know people who have full time babysitter don’t necessarily have them live in. If you look at most Manhattan apartments, they don’t usually come with maid’s room. Most of those sitters can commute in from other boroughs via subway. It is not the case outside of of NYC because public transportation is not as readily available. </p>
<p>Money, or lack of it, doesn’t give someone a good upbringing. I have lived on both sides. For every case Cobrat could come up with of some rich kid gone bad, I could come up with just as many cases of how some poor kid who did nothing with his life, and vice versa. The kind of environment someone grew up in doesn’t make him/her a better person, what is more important is what that person has done with the opportunity that’s given to him/her. </p>
<p>I went to college with full aid. It was a small college with many wealthy students. Instead feeling inferior or begrudge other people of having more, I took what the school had to offer (socially and academically), and had some good opportunity after graduation. I am able to give my kids a better life style than my parents gave me. But it doesn’t mean I gave them less attention, or they are spoiled, entitled young people. On the contrary, I feel I was some how damaged as an young adult because of my rough upbringing. My kids are happier, more considerate and could afford to think about how to give back than when I was at their age (I was more focused on myself because I was constantly worried about money.)</p>
<p>Cobrat - if you don’t like how those wealthier kids behave and you are happy with yourself, then don’t emulate them and don’t raise your kids like them someday. But there is no reason to point out over and over again how their lives are ruined because they have money or some how their parents have damaged them. You don’t know why people send their kids to private school. It maybe as simple as better education in a better environment. The better environment, in our case, was to have more racial diversity. Our town’s top public school was so white bread that kids didn’t believe I could speak English. They asked how my kids could speak with me if they didn’t speak Chinese. Believe it or not, at the 30k private school there were more Jewish, Blacks, Asians…Most of those parents were hard working professionals, who made other sacrifices in order to afford private school education for their kids.</p>
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<p>Depends. Malcolm X’s bookie (in the 1940s) was a mathematical genius with a photographic and a mathematical memory – he had the capacity to visualise large sets of numbers all at once, probably to abstraction</p>
<p>Had he been born into privilege he would have probably have been a famous rocket scientist working at NASA or problem with a few computer science or quantum physics publications under his belt.</p>
<p>Instead he used his photographic memory to run his betting ring. He was later shot. </p>
<p>I can’t imagine how the world might have been changed had he learned how to read.</p>
<p>Several of the private schools in HI do give generous FAid. One of the more publicized is a full-ride scholarship (tuition, books & food) at one of the prep schools for all 4 years. Full FAid forms have to be completed and audits are possible as well. Parents and relatives DO sacrifice so that they can provide their children opportunities they value, regardless of whether they had experienced it growing up or not. I know people who will take any job on campus so they can get a tuition discount for their child, including one woman who wiped tables & worked in the cafeteria so her kids could attend a private school, teaching voice, mandarin and piano on the side because the school didn’t have openings for her to do any of those & get a tuition break. (As soon as her younger child graduated, she quit & went to another private school where she was able to use her skills as a mandarin teacher.) We know others who are janitors or take a huge cut in their jobs to switch to working at the private school for the tuition break.</p>
<p>I like your post #356, Oldfort. Spot on.</p>
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<p>A reason why I said
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<p>Full-time babysitters…especially ones with good references aren’t cheap. Unless, of course, we’re including relatives, trusted neighbors, college students with no experience/references, or a trusted neighbor’s teen. However, most people I know would consider them to be part-timers considering they have other full-time obligations. </p>
<p>As for my comment about private schools being used by parents as a means to shelter their kids from the “lower orders”, that’s from my own observations of older relatives/their neighbors in other parts of the country as well as what I’ve heard from actual Manhattanite private school students and private school parents IRL in educational and workplace settings over the last 15-20 years. More importantly, I was citing those cases because they seem to relate very closely to the mentality of the mother in the news story the OP posted. </p>
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<p>From what I heard from Hawaii based relatives and several college classmates/colleagues, the Hawaiian public school system has been so badly neglected over the decades that everyone who is middle class and above feels private school is vital for their kids to be decently prepared for the rigors of college…especially at mainland institutions. I’ve also read somewhere that this was also a legacy of the ruling elite sending their kids off to private schools in Hawaii or on the mainland so there was little elite support for public education. Especially when the vast majority of the latter’s students were perceived by the elite to be poor non-Whites and thus…not necessary for serious consideration. </p>
<p>What are your thoughts on this and do you think the competition for private school there approaches that of Manhattanites like the mother in the OP’s story?</p>