<p>Some here keep referring to the LAW and PUNISHMENT as being something ONLY the legal system does. My suggestion earlier was for the parents to be the LEGAL SYSTEM. If you know they are doing POT/DRUGS/Underage Drinking/etc… then PUNISH THEM. They may be too old for grounding and taking away their gameboy; but the power and law is still in your ball park. Turn off cable tv to their room if appropriate; no use of the family car; no spending money; no college money; no insurance money other than health/dental; NO SUPPORT!!!</p>
<p>If you can’t handle this approach; or try a BLUFF; the kid is going to call you on it and walk all over you. You have 2 choices and ONLY 2 choices. 1) CONDONE IT. If that’s your choice, then this topic is over with. 2) Force him to make a choice of POT or his family and their support. It’s really that simple. WHAT IS THE PROBLEM.</p>
<p>If their question is WHY are you making him make a choice; the answer is simple. “IT’S ILLEGAL AND I CARE ABOUT YOUR FUTURE AND YOUR HEALTH”. End of discussion: MAKE A CHOICE. Again; if you can’t be tough with your kid; afterall, you ARE THE PARENT; then this topic is over. let him do whatever he wants, quit complaining, and don’t complain if he gets caught, in trouble, or any other consequence of using POT. Nothing to complain about.</p>
<p>My daughter participated in an intervention for her cousin a couple of years ago. Talk about the anti-drug! We intervened because the cousin was addicted to cocaine, but what came out at the intervention was that she had started drinking at 15 and had smoked pot her entire senior year.</p>
<p>If you want a poster boy for what years of pot-smoking will do to you, look no further than the cousin’s dad. He is extremely intelligent and creative, was an inventor and entrepreneur, and is now in his late 50’s. His ex-wives could form a club and get group discounts. He has 4 children by 2 different women and is close to none of them (although he might dispute that). He is still active professionally, but the damage to his memory is evident. I feel so sorry for him, because I see him trying very hard to do the right thing, but his perceptions and judgement have been so distorted that it is difficult for him to figure out what the right thing is, or to follow through on a course of action.</p>
<p>Some people can smoke dope for a while and then drop it, others become addicted. It’s hard to know in advance which category someone will fall into. Even casual use can affect school performance, as the effects on memory can linger for a few days. I hope your son gets the message that irrespective of legalities, pot is not the harmless recreation that he thinks it is.</p>
Christcorp if marijuana really does become a problem for the kid, there may be some serious underlying emotional/mental health issues that need to be addressed. Cutting off all support could be disastrous.</p>
<p>I completely agree with what Momofwildchild has said.</p>
<p>If the kid is actually smart, there is no way that telling them its wrong because its illegal is going to work. There is absolutely no valid reasoning behind that. I’m sure you’ve broken the speed limit on a 55MPH highway. Do you think you were actually wrong in doing so? The same thing applies to marijuana even though the consequences are higher. If you want to truly dissuade him, bring up your own research about harmful effects of marijuana usage. Talk about the consequences of getting caught and have him weigh those consequences with the positives of getting blazed. </p>
<p>Full disclosure: I’m for the decriminalization of marijuana.</p>
<p>It is interesting reading the variety of perspectives this topic brings. My concern is health and social risks for my son. He is going away to college with all the oppurtunity in the world and I don’t want to see him blow it or be anything less than he can be because of what some view as a harmless drug.
I am an attorney and have represented kids who let drugs screw up thier lives. I am aware of intstances of cars and houses being lost because od drug forfiture. As a parent I have explained to him that using marijuana is just not worth the risk. The risk of a criminal record, the risk of physical or psychological damage, the risk of loss of job oppurtunites.
I will continue to drug test him thru the summer. If he makes bad choices he will have restrictions.I don’t have the understanding from counselors that hewas using on a weekly basis. Nevertheless usage is not a good thing no matter how may times
My concern is come fall he’ll be on his own at school in a college town that gives tickets for marijuana usage.I hope he has the prescence of mind to realize continuing to smoke pot doesn’t give enough benifit to justify the risk.
What does concern me is the cavileer attitude of his peers who are posting in response to this topic. Yes smoking marijuana is a big deal.</p>
<p>The scary part, bsali5, is that some of the pro-pot posters are probably PARENTS, not kids!</p>
<p>It’s a difficult topic to deal with, when many of us may have indeed ‘tried’ it back in the day. Our parents could be unequivocal about it, as they, in all likelihood, didn’t do it. So it’s hard to make the argument that ‘if you do it, you will mess up your life’. While it IS true that the drugs are more potent these days, and more likely to be tampered with, again, that’s a tough argument to make with a teenager who thinks he is bulletproof anyways. For me, the combination of tough love and conversation seems to be the way to go - tough love as a way of saying ‘not in my home’ and on-going conversation as a way to keep the lines of communication open.</p>
<p>I am from Canada, where marijuana use is more widespread than in America. Particularly among teens, in most social groups the occasional use of marijuana is almost ubiquitous. I am by no means atypical in that regard - I occasionally use marijuana myself. Is it illegal? Well, not in Canada any more (since a recent Ontario court ruling the marijuana statute is believed to have been ruled unconstitutional, and a test case on that idea seems to have confirmed it), but even if it were that would not hugely concern me. </p>
<p>Laws are the products of fallible leaders; they are only as compelling as the reasoning behind them. In the case of marijuana, I don’t know how many of you are familiar with the inception of its illegality, but since I suspect very few of you are aware, I’ll let you in on something: marijuana prohibition in America was begun and popularized by one man, Harry J. Anslinger. He almost singlehandedly took marijuana from being seen as relatively innocuous to being seen as a horrible corrupting influence. How? A favorite tool of early-20th century polemicists: racism and other hype. He linked marijuana to black musicians and their decadent, corrupting lifestyle; made marijuana out to be a drug used by Mexicans to corrupt white women into interracial sex; and lifted dubious quotes from unsubstantiated police blotter-type reports, including this gem:</p>
<p>“An entire family was murdered by a youthful addict in Florida. When officers arrived at the home, they found the youth staggering about in a human slaughterhouse. With an axe he had killed his father, mother, two brothers, and a sister. He seemed to be in a daze He had no recollection of having committed the multiple crime. The officers knew him ordinarily as a sane, rather quiet young man; now he was pitifully crazed. They sought the reason. The boy said that he had been in the habit of smoking something which youthful friends called muggles, a childish name for marijuana.”</p>
<p>After several years of writing op-ed articles and other varied and essentially baseless pieces on the evils of marijuana, Anslinger finally got through to Congress, and when he eventually testified about marijuana in front of them, the evidence he brought to support his case was nothing more than his own op-ed pieces. Whether he actually believed marijuana was evil or, as his biographer suggests, wanted to use the issue as a springboard to national fame, he was effective either way, and so effectively poisoned the waters of debate over the drug that the Federal government has since then taken an almost universally hard-line position on the drug, helped by dubious Supreme Court decisions regarding interstate commerce, among other things. You can see this at work - there was a Congressional hearing on marijuana’s medical properties held by Mark Souder, in which only 2 pro-marijuana doctors were called to testify, one of whom was called so that Souder could take her to task over her suspected use of marijuana in her practice.</p>
<p>My point? I consider the illegality of marijuana a law with no moral imperative behind it, and ignore it except insofar as there are consequences associated with breaking it.</p>
<p>So, given that, what do I suggest you do with your son? If you are concerned about having drugs in your home (which you probably should be, because of how overzealous the DEA is about prosecuting everyone even tangentially associated with drugs, as a salt-the-earth kind of strategy), give him the ultimatum that he must not keep drugs in your home. Other than that, I suggest you be tolerant - marijuana is unlikely to destroy his life, and you being hard-line about it will probably harm your relationship more than it will help him. However, you should make the consequences of marijuana use (in the legal sense) very clear to him.</p>
<p>Now, I feel the need to respond to a couple of fallacies posted here:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>With occasional use, the health and mental risks are extremely minimal - this is documented in the medical literature. The legal consequences are not. I think that handing your son an ultimatum about how to assess that risk and act on that assessment will ultimately backfire, and you will end up with no credibility once he leaves for university. Think carefully about that risk.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I question which studies you have been reading. I have read extensively in the medical literature about marijuana and its health risks, both for policy papers I have had to write for a class, and with my parents (both doctors, one of whom is a doctor involved in basic research) when I asserted to them that marijuana was not particularly harmful and they could find that out from the literature and they decided to take me up on it. So far, marijuana has been shown by large scale studies not to cause any of the normal smoking-related cancers (a new study out of New Zealand suggests that lung cancer might actually be increased, but it is unclear whether that study or the large-scale UCLA study that showed no increase of lung cancer is more reliable), any of the chronic lung diseases (COPD, emphysema, etc.) associated with tobacco, and so forth. THC has also been shown to slow cancer growth. The only seemingly agreed-upon health risks are (1) an eventual decrease in memory after a long, long time of chronic heavy use; (2) depression of the immune system immediately after smoking, for a short time and (3) a statistical increase in schizophrenia and other psychosis incidence, particularly among smokers who already had mental issues.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Joints do indeed have more tar than cigarettes and also deliver more because they are smoked in a way that holds the smoke in longer. However, this additional tar does not appear to be associated with any certain long-term health risks yet, and the amount of total tar smoked by almost any pot smoker will be much less than that smoked by most tobacco smokers due to frequency and amount of use (almost nobody smokes more than once daily [marijuana], and most smoke less).</p>
<p>As for the gateway drug effect, while there is a statistical correlation, the statistical correlation between marijuana and other hard drugs pales in comparison to the strongest gateway drugs of all: alcohol and tobacco.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Currently, potent marijuana has between 15% and 19% THC (at leas the potent marijuana found in America). Marijuana of similar potency was widely available in the 70s.</p>
<p>As for schizophrenia, that is true, but the increase is slight, and largely occurs in users with other mental health issues.</p>
<hr>
<p>Each person must make their own determination of whether pot is safe or not, and whether its use is worth the possible consequences or not. I am just dismayed by the ridiculous amount of misinformation currently out there about marijuana, and the degree to which the social engineering of pot into an unacceptable substance has rooted itself into the consciousness of many Americans, to the detriment of their critical thinking and ability to discern the reality of the situation.</p>
<p>“I’m sure you’ve broken the speed limit on a 55MPH highway.”</p>
<p>Viscious- You will learn from the attitudes of some posters on this forum, especially if you read the threads about underage drinking or teen pranks, that a number of our co-posters would NEVER do something as blatantly illegal as breaking the speed limit or rolling through a stop sign. Surely you jest!</p>
<p>Well done, 1of42: I have always believed much of the reason marijuana is classified as it is, is due to hype. Remember “Reefer Madness”? I know successful, respectable people who have smoked for years. Anything in excess is a problem, even water.</p>
<p>Here is my two cents…I have never in my life known a pot smoker that was only a pot smoker… I was a Theatre Arts major in college, and every stoner that I called a friend ended up a coke, meth, or LSD user.</p>
<p>Drug use is not harmless.</p>
<p>If your children ever want to be involved in education, then a drug conviction can tie up their Department of Justice clearance for YEARS…One of the best student teachers I ever had almost had to change job paths because at 18 his parents called the sheriff when they found his stash. Ten years later, it still haunted him.</p>
<p>@Hedda: You are simply mistaken, or your sample group is biased.
My Parents, who grew up in the 70’s, don’t really care about occasional marijuana use because they know that in moderation, it is harmless. My parents smoked pot in their day, and they are doctors. I know many of their friends who are professors, teachers, accountants and CFOs. I should add that none of these people have any drug problems and are fully functioning members of society.</p>
<p>If you are careful, the police will not give you any problems. In fact, moderate marijuana use is much safer than alcohol. When was the last time you heard of a 18 year old getting rushed to the hospital because he got too baked?</p>
<p>What about the consequences of smoking pot? No one seems to be talking about that. Smoking pot makes you lazy. It makes you lethargic. It makes you stupid. It makes you lie to your parents because you will do anything you can to get more of it if you have an addiction problem. It is NOT a harmless substance or it would be legalized. It may take away pain from elderly patients, but I hardly think our kids, at their age, are in any kind of pain that they need to be smoking it.</p>
<p>This is the kind of post that I was talking about. A regurgitation of the common stereotypes and misinformation about marijuana, without any verification.</p>
<p>momoney77, please provide us some peer-reviewed scientific studies that confirm that marijuana makes people lazy, lethargic and stupid when not under the influence. Please provide some studies that show that pot makes people lie.</p>
<p>You won’t find many (if any), because each of those things that you listed is the kind of drivel that’s directly descended from Anslinger’s original lies about the drug. The tragic thing about it is, your ignorance about the true effects and seriousness of marijuana is not the execption; it is the rule. A little education would go a long way - unfortunately, America is so inundated with anti-drug propaganda that education is near impossible.</p>
<p>You have to be kidding. Pot makes you lazy? Give me a break. Lazy people who smoke pot (who are lazy to begin with) are going to be lazy after they smoke. The fact that they started smoking won’t change anything. Stupid people who smoke pot are going to still be stupid. Obviously, addiction is bad, but in moderation, pot is just as harmless as a couple beers. </p>
<p>The idea of the dumb stoner is an example of correlation not relating to causation. Because of the huge propaganda war against pot, and close minded parents, most top students won’t smoke. So, you won’t see so many smart people who smoke. Weaker students will have less strict parents, so more of them will end up smoking. If your kid is dumb and lazy and smokes pot, he will be still dumb and lazy. If your kid is smart and motivated, some pot won’t change that. I’ve smoked throughout high school and I got into a great school with a 3.9UW and 2150 SAT. </p>
<p>I’ll admit that physical act of smoking isn’t great for your lungs. As long as everything is in moderation, and your work gets done, there is no way you can say that smoking is a real problem.</p>
<p>Smoking pot is illegal. That should be the big issue. You do not want illegal substances in your house, car even in someone’s body. Also if he is also buying the pot he is smoking, sharing it with others, transporting it, storing it, this leads to a bunch of very serious problems. Drug dealers are not the most trust worthy folks around and if you are doing business with them, you are in bad company. Also if one of your smoking buddies gets busted, and gives out your name as a drug source, you could get your house torn up by the police.</p>
<p>I say this because my son’s good friend who is an excellent student, and a really nice kid whom I’ve known for years who certainly does not look like a pothead or drug dealer, got thrown out of school his senior year, and the police raided his house. Traumatic, humiliating, upsetting to the family. He gave some kid pot who got caught and copped a deal. </p>
<p>Also have your kid try to get a job at a number of stores that drug test. Pot stays in your system for a long time. </p>
<p>I won’t go into the medical consequences of smoking pot or possible long term issues. These are just some pragmatic points.</p>
<p>I’m sorry 1 of 42, but I just don’t see your side of things. Have you ever know someone that has a drug dependency and seen how they act when they are high? Have you ever known them when they come out of re-hab, no longer have the addiction problem and seen who they really are? That’s when you know what drugs do to someone and how they react to them. That’s when you know how harmful they are.<br>
Also, smoking marijuana is a little different these days. Have you seen the size of the joints? They are now called blunts and they can be up to 5X the size of joints we may have seen back in the day.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Illegality: Thanks to the prohibition on alcohol for people under 21, most teenagers are perfectly comfortable with the culture of not regarding legal/illegal as a sacred distinction. One of the risks of criminalizing common behavior is that it tends to undermine the moral authority of the criminal label. That cow left the barn a long time ago.</p></li>
<li><p>Risks: The unfortunate thing about the risks of marijuana is that they are not very large, at least in the short run. Most kids who use it know dozens, if not hundreds of other kids who use it, and maybe one or two who have had a problem they wouldn’t have had anyway. They don’t believe the lectures about risk, because they have a great deal of contrary experience. Over time, they will notice more and more problems, and take them more seriously. At that point they will be adults, and some of them will change their minds.</p></li>
<li><p>Culture: In almost every society of which I am aware, young adults (a) seem to like to get high, although the menu of methods/substances they use varies, and (b) resent older adults telling them what to do in the evening. Parents and their older teenagers disagreeing about this is about a novel as apples falling DOWN when they become detached from trees. </p></li>
<li><p>Something else: For me – but not until I was in my 20s – three things turned my attitude against drugs: First, seeing them mess up the lives of people who once had looked like they were handling the drugs fine, and not wanting to enable them to dig their holes deeper. Second, understanding that regardless of what I thought about the wisdom of illegality, the fact of illegality made the drug trade violent and oppressive, and a substantial source of misery in the world that I didn’t really want to associate myself with. Third, of course, having a stake in the mainstream, and something to lose. All of them boil down to more experience, a longer, wider view, and not being a kid anymore. It’s hard to substitute a lecture for that.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Speaking of jobs… FBI, CIA and other governmental agencies list drug use as one of disqualifying criteria at such places. While smoking pot in the past may not prohibit one from getting a job at one of those places, a drug-related arrest definitely will. They spell out the rules quite openly. Here is the info from the FBIjobs site:</p>
<p>Yes, I have. I have a friend who got into some bad circles surrounding cocaine, ended up in a downwards spiral and finally tried to kill herself. After lengthy rehab and hospital stays, she is a completely different person. However, that was cocaine, not marijuana. </p>
<p>As for blunts, a blunt is a joint that is rolled with tobacco leafs (or tobacco leaf pulp paper) instead of rolling paper. It does not refer to a larger joint - though some blunts are indeed large, just as some joints are. I wonder, have you seen the size of joints lately? Sounds like you’re operating on some pretty specious second-hand information.</p>
<p>Anyways, I’m not going to get involved in trading anecdotes with you. You’re welcome to base your worldview on baseless information, personal anecdotes and emotion if you wish. You’ll be in plentiful company - most people tend to give undue weight to the extreme outliers - in this case, those few who flame out due to drug use. I prefer the more substantiated medical literature and large studies.</p>