<p>Hindsight works a lot better (duh!) but once our kids are adults, they have to learn this for themselves, IMHO. For myself, I have found that the kinder and gentler the advice-giver, the more likely the recipient of advice is to listen.</p>
<p>What makes me think about this - is that since we have worked hard and sacrificed to set our students up for success, and launch them without debt… then if they end up with someone else’s debt load…it is a drag on their future. </p>
<p>We have been teaching our kids to not buy things you cannot afford and would hope they’d choose future spouses with the same values and understanding of money- which is a tool.</p>
<p>As a young 20 something I don’t think most young college grads understand the money as a tool thing yet–and what carrying a heavy debt load looks like for years and years…
A few years on their own, paying taxes, rent and the college loans will be a wake up call for many. I read articles about how many think they can avoid paying this debt back and wonder where their integrity went.</p>
<p>I wonder if dating 20 somethings with college debt are as quick to share their financial picture with their SO as they are to share a bed. haha</p>
<p>We are doing our best to launch ours debt free with the first 4 yrs. No big graduation present at the end of it (car/trip etc)–however being debt free is a huge gift…otherwise it would be a 6 figure debt load…Future earning stream, grad school etc is all on them.</p>
<p>Regarding your last statement: “grad school etc is all on them.”
I think many believe this is the proper time for your young adult child to take his financial responsibility. But in reality, this may not be what happens.</p>
<p>Even in the financial aid award letter, there is a big number item the school still calls it “parents’ contribution”, just like what you see in an UG FA award letter. Of course, the parents could help secure additional loans to cover it (6.8% interest rate?) but you may not automatically get the help from school’s FA office to do unless you specifically ask for it. By default, that sizable amount of “parents’ contribution” is still expected to be funded by the Bank of mom and dad (their income or assets).</p>
<p>Not every parent could afford it, but this is what the FA office encourage the parent to do and many parents still struggle to pay their share. (Of. Ourse, there is the student loans component as well.)</p>
<p>It is a different story if your child go to a PhD program. Also, FA arrangement for a public professional school may be different. ( there, the parents are not expected to chip in by default.)</p>
<p>Yesterday my client told me that her nephew just broke up with his fianc</p>
<p>Sounds like a train-wreck but there could be other factors to mitigate it. If groom had a very high salary or assets or parents had the same and were willing to part with it, it could be doable but the groom and parents would know that the girl was very high maintenance and that the lack of savings on the girl’s parents part could mean further, required contributions. If it’s the more usual case where the groom and his parents aren’t high income or wealthy, then he probably saved himself a lot of grief in the future.</p>
<p>I don’t understand the bride not being willing to take the small wedding deal. She found someone that would marry her with heavy baggage. I think that her parents would want to offload this debt too. Only mitigating factor is if that she had huge earning potentials as a lawyer.</p>
<p>We got married mid-way between where families lived and it was immediate family and friends in the area. We paid for the wedding ourselves - we didn’t burden either families (they had to get there though), because neither family could throw a big wedding. I think that costs outside of travel were under $1,000.</p>
<p>I think some of you are overestimating the amount of college debt students have. The average debt after graduating is around $27k. One analysis (<a href=“Your Guide for College Financial Aid - Finaid”>Your Guide for College Financial Aid - Finaid; ) found that only 0.2% of bachelors degree grads had 6-figures in debt. The ones who had high debt were generally the ones who were likely to have a higher income after becoming established, such as med and law school grads. In most cases, I’d expect the increase in salary from the degree be larger than the loan payment. </p>
<p>As I mentioned earlier I don’t agree with deciding who to marry based on net income potential like this. But if you are big on the spouse’s net income/payment contribution per month, then it’s not a stretch to also decide to cancel marriage because a partner has a humanities degree without grad degrees or wants to be a homemaker after having children, without earning a salary. One might take it a step further by canceling marriage after learning that the fiancee wants to buy a house and live together after getting married. The majority of marriages end in divorce in the United States. Most of those marriage failures have nothing to do with student debt or finances in general. There are far more important things to focus on than college debt when choosing who to marry.</p>
<p>Having a high debt also usually doesn’t mean the end of world or getting stuck in a situation you can never recover from. For example, I live in an expensive area where homes often cost in the 7 figures. I recently bought a home with a mortgage and perceived risk of default high enough to drop my credit score from the 700s into the 400s. The debt inspired me to put extra time/effort into my website and quickly pay it off. If a fiancee decided to back out of a marriage with me because of my debt or credit score, they would have missed out on many decades without debt. Obviously most students won’t pay off their loans this quickly, but the same idea applies… in many cases, the loan will be paid off early in the marriage, with the vast majority of the marriage without student debt. One may miss out on decades of happiness because of fears of debt.</p>
<p>“I think some of you are overestimating the amount of college debt students have. The average debt after graduating is around $27k. One analysis (<a href=“Your Guide for College Financial Aid - Finaid”>Your Guide for College Financial Aid - Finaid; ) found that only 0.2% of bachelors degree grads had 6-figures in debt. The ones who had high debt were generally the ones who were likely to have a higher income after becoming established, such as med and law school grads. In most cases, I’d expect the increase in salary from the degree be larger than the loan payment.”</p>
<p>I think that most CC posters are aware of the statistics on college debt. We have discussions on them frequently enough and I’ve pointed out that those in six-figures are a small percentage in several threads.</p>
<p>As far as employment goes, there are few sure things in life these days.</p>