I’m not pushing Skidmore, but this isn’t reflective of a commuter vibe at all! It’s reflective of the fact that Skidmore is in a really lovely town with lots to do. I don’t see how this is anything but an advantage (compared to Conn College, for example, which is a wonderful school, but it’s just not as easy to wander into New London, which is a sleepier town and not really accessible without a car). A commuter school would empty out on weekends – that’s a different thing entirely (and Skidmore is not a commuter school).
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That had me chuckling and rolling my eyes at the same time.
Just in case your daughter needs this:
Commuter colleges are set up like most high schools: students live somewhere and go to campus for classes and activities. Their lives are anchored in the “elsewhere”.
Skidmore and ConnColl are intentionally residential: students live on campus by design and rarely leave because their lives are anchored in the campus community; but when they wish for a change of scenery, as we all do, they have the lovely, lively town of Saratoga Springs where they can walk, have a coffee, windowshop, etc.
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I would strongly suggest this be in the form of a PM. You’re basically asking @cquin85 to evaluate your child.
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Open to whatever format, and really am asking her to evaluate UR more than my child, but understand that the latter is implicit and necessary to the former.
OK, I have to take issue with this. To the extent that the humanities are “stultified and dying,” it’s because students have become convinced that they will never become employed if they take humanities courses, so they don’t take them. It’s not because humanities faculty are not passionate about their fields, and it’s not because they’re not designing courses that reflect new directions in their research. Whether it’s English or any other discipline, you will find exciting things happening in any humanities department. I say this not because I’m a defensive but passionate humanities professor (though I am all of those things), but because I think that some of what has been said on this thread reflects assumptions that you and your daughter are bringing into this process that indicate misunderstandings about what she can expect to find in college. Yes, the disciplines are different now than they were decades ago. Yes, this will be reflected in curriculum in just about any college. Yes, there will be some checked-out students. No, you can’t shield her from that. And no, the classes in any discipline, in any college, will not be like high school. I think that one of the exciting things about starting college is that students don’t know what they don’t know – it’s so different on so many levels than what they’ve experienced before. But that means they have to observe, listen, and give it time before they figure it out. They’ll change plans and change majors because they didn’t know the available disciplines before they started, or because they take that one class with that one professor who changed everything, or because they discover some new opportunity for grad school or a career they didn’t know existed. You won’t find a college that is 100% the right place, with all downsides eliminated, partly because you don’t know what all of the strengths and weaknesses of the student’s experience will turn out to be – and partly because there is no perfect place. You can’t anticipate everything. Sometimes, you just need to make a gut decision with the best information available.
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Thank you! As a humanities (literature but not English) professor with 20 years of experience I couldn’t agree more.
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I wish I could love this post more than I do (and I love this post).
I seem to recall that this D didn’t want a place with too much “progressive and experiential learning”, correct? OP, tell me if I’m wrong.
But the antidote to the progressive and experiential piece is a traditional seminar room with a professor sitting at the table, trying to break apart a text or an idea and having the students connect the dots.
This will happen in abundance at every single college on your list. Including places which I suspect are closer to home (perhaps easier from a health perspective- keep all the supports and team in place?) such as Delaware, Temple, Goucher (might be just as far as Skidmore, I don’t remember where exactly you live).
If it were my kid I’d take the parsing of the pedagogy and ideology off the table. Plain and simple- is there a therapist who can see my kid quickly if needed to assess if she needs to come home or just needs to vent? Do they take our insurance and are they taking new patients and have they worked with late adolescent females?
How quickly can I get there?
Done and done.
Skidmore is about as opposite a commuter vibe as you can get.
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DD is passionate about the humanities and learning. Attended student day at UMass broke her - English department presentation consisted of the Dept Chair reading the website outloud. It was a no-go experience because of the energy put into trying to woo students was so low, why would she expect it to be high for everyday classes?
It’s hard in the context of trying to crystallize the most important information to be open and broad and “shrugs shoulders” casually confident that it will all work out. Of course all that is and needs to be true - but hindsight is always 20/20. We are trying to bring 20/20 vision to the fore and, in the course of trying to make the best decision with the information available, we are seeking that information to evaluate and weigh, insights that can be imparted, not about my daughter, but about the schools themselves, which is what we are most interested in learning about.
The vibe, the fit, the academic and social culture at the school, will all be the key determinants once we are confident that the academics, disability support, and extracurricular piece is satisfied. It is also the piece we have the least objectively verifiable information to assess.
Conn College, for example, has a very unique curriculum - no one has mentioned it - that I could see being either amazing or dreadful for my particular DD. I literally have no idea, but it is a very self-directed “Connections” curriculum, and relates a “big idea,” using an interdisciplinary approach, to the extra-curricular world at school, through internships or study abroad or whatever, culminating in a capstone project. It’s potentially a cutting edge approach to educating the modern LAC student – but could also be, in practice, a very narrow approach that exchanges the breadth of a traditional education for empowerment and self-direction in a more narrow specialty. I’m excited to learn more about it. It’s also one of a very few schools that have a student-run honor code - which my DD will adore and factor heavily. These are the kinds of things I’m hoping to learn, and maybe that level of granularity just isn’t available right now.
I value and appreciate the lessons learned and the wisdom this collective represents, and am grateful to every person who takes the time to write anything they think will be helpful to us on this journey.
Have you been reading through the school-specific forums? Also, you may want to start threads in those or direct message individuals who have children attending/are attending those schools for more specific insight.
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When I read this, my concern is - nowhere is perfect. Everyone has “bad” professors or bad roommate situations. Or even a great professor has a bad day or a lesson plan or assignment that doesn’t click or seem as value.
And from what you write, everything has to be perfect.
I admit - I’ve never had to experience this so I’m not sure how it is handled.
But it almost seems, from your writing, that nothing will be acceptable - and in that case, I’m not sure what to do or how to do it.
I do wish you well - and I would say (and you’re already not considering it amongst the acceptances) - that Charleston would not be a fit.
Good luck.
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Just to piggy-back on this a little bit. Constantly fact-checking the applicant’s off-stage remarks has become a running game of whack-a-mole. All of these colleges have their pros and cons (actual pros and cons - not stuff that can be easily refuted with a visit to their websites.) At some point, the parent needs to stop enabling the child’s worst fears and decide what’s practical for everyone involved.
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This may sound alarmist but is on my mind as I read through this thread. My kid is an RA in a dorm with 120 students in a very close knit and supportive environment. He has had 2 students admitted to the hospital and subsequently discharged home following very serious mental health issues/substance issues. In the last 2 months. 
I do not know these students, nor their families. But the struggles of students entering college are so real. And college, no matter how “perfect” the environment will almost assuredly make things harder. Kids get through it. But I caution any parent thinking that a change of setting (I.e. college) makes a young person more stable from a mental health standpoint. It can happen, but is not generally the case.
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My daughter is finishing up her first year at Conn, and it has overall been a wonderful experience.
She was the typical “average excellent” applicant, diagnosed with ADHD at the beginning of senior year. She felt overwhelmed by the thought of a larger school, and also was anxious about being too far from home. We looked at all of the small LACs within a reasonable distance, but once we toured Conn, that was it. She was set and applied ED. (Wasn’t willing to take any chances with possible yield protection.)
Conn is about an hour away, and honestly, that has been more important than I thought it would be. She was right. The fact that she could easily come home takes away a bit of the stress, and actually makes her less likely to actually come home. Instead, there were two times where she was kind of overwhelmed and needed a break, so we picked her up and went out to eat, spent a lot of time, and dropped her back off. Such a luxury to have that option. There was only one time where she called on a Saturday and said she just needed to be home.
She never had accommodations in high school, but we wanted her to get things in place in college, just in case. She was dragging her feet contacting the SAS office, so I called to at least get some info, and the woman I spoke with was wonderful. Super informative, and had (to me) just the right balance of understanding that the student is an adult and really needs to advocate for themselves, but at 18, a little parental involvement is not unreasonable. A few days later my daughter got her act together and submitted the neuropsych eval with ADHD diagnosis. She was immediately set up with an “executive function coach” twice a week (!), all tests administered in a low distraction environment, and extended time on all tests. It was up to her to list which teachers she wanted notified of the accommodations. It’s worked out so well and the process was so easy. She says that she never thought the distraction free would matter, but it’s been a game changer for her.
She was in a triple this year. I think she’s glad she had the experience, but is very, very, very happy to have gotten a single in a great building next year. She knows at least two students who were placed in singles first year as an accommodation, so it’s not uncommon.
Socially, she has yet to find her group. She has a few friends, but I do think she’s a little lonely. The interesting thing is, even given that, when someone asks her how she likes her school, the answer is “I love it there!”
She’s a STEM person, so I can’t comment on the English department specifically, but overall the school has been fantastic academically. The professors are really outstanding.
I’d be happy to answer any questions you might have. Takeaway is that my daughter absolutely loves Conn, and we couldn’t be happier with her experience there.
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This is unfortunate but not necessarily reflective of the whole department. It could have been a bad day. It could have been that someone else was supposed to give the presentation but they were sick and the Dept. Chair had to do it in between five other meetings and was using the original presenter’s notes. It could be that the Dept. Chair is a dud (but guess what? Dept. chairs don’t do much teaching.). But it almost certainly does not mean that the rest of the English Department would engage students in the same manner. That’s just not how it works.
You can’t curate your daughter’s college experience for her. And I worry for a student who was “broken” by a single departmental presentation for prospective students. No matter where she goes, she will have exhilarating scholarly experiences. No matter where she goes, there will be a class or two (and a professor or two) – or perhaps more – that are total duds. You can’t predict the former, and you can’t protect her from the latter – anywhere. This semester, my daughter is in a class that she wanted so badly she petitioned the professor to get into it after it was full – and it has not been a good experience. But she’s in another class that she took because it sounded sort of interesting and it fit into her schedule – and it has been so amazing that she’s now declaring a major in that department. You just can’t protect your kid from disappointment, and you can’t predict where she’ll find inspiration.
That’s why I would argue that as long as the general areas of academic interest are there (you don’t want to send a humanities kid to a tech school), and the very important mental health supports are there (and other factors – like distance from home, weather for those who experience SAD, etc.) are present, vibe and fit are extremely important. But you can’t roadmap the whole experience before it even begins.
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Skidmore is definitely not a commuter school. It’s a residential college, but the students certainly take advantage of nearby downtown Saratoga Springs (about a mile from campus), and after you spend some time there you’ll understand why. After freshman year, some kids will move off campus but live near the school. My impression was that it’s a pretty tight-knit community of students. Campus is the hub, but they also spend time (together with their groups) taking advantage of SS’s plentiful restaurant, coffee house and bar options. You could put any school and group of students in Skidmore’s location and the students would spend time downtown. But, no, I don’t think that should be a concern. Not at all.
Skidmore’s dorm situation isn’t their best feature at the moment, though they are building a new one, which should alleviate some of the pressure. I will defer to you what works best for your kid re single/roommates.
My kid isn’t an undergrad at UR; she attended undergrad elsewhere. She’s there in a different capacity (which isn’t important to this advice) as an adult managing herself completely on her own. I mentioned Skidmore only thinking about what I might value if your kid (as described) were my kid. It’s just a gut call based on my own subjective opinion about the combination Skidmore presents of quality of place, quality of school and type of school, the latter being my view that a small LAC seems like a great place for an English major. This is the place where, as mentioned by another poster, a professor is going to notice and likely do something if a student is spiraling or MIA. I don’t know Rochester all that well from the perspective of managing an undergrad who is transitioning from home to college. It’s a nice place and the school has a very good reputation, so if her gut says UR, then that would be an entirely justifiable choice, setting aside mental health factors. Regarding those factors, I can only add that I think there is a measurable difference in the weather up there from SS and definitely from Conn. And I don’t recall where you live, but you can see a map as well as I: Rochester is WAY up and out there. @Shelby_Balik is right - Conn is in a great location, but your kid isn’t going to casually wander down to New London or Mystic. She’ll need transportation for that.
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This should become a sticky thread on CC. What a great way to frame the issue.
You reminded me of my own freshman year. I had one class that affirmed “This is why I wanted to go to college”. And the rest? They were fine. Just fine. Lots of work. Interesting subject matter. Challenging. But fine.
By sophomore year I found my groove (as did almost everyone else I know). It’s no knock on the faculty-- some love teaching “European History from the Norman Conquest through World War II” and some can’t stand it but everyone takes their turn in the survey course rotation. But at virtually any college, a kid who is serious about academics is going to figure out how to land the professor who is teaching fascinating material in an area he or she loves and makes magic-- none of which is possible without first taking Econ 1 or Introduction to Anthropology or whatever the critical foundation courses happen to be.
I DID take Intro to anthro freshman year. I thought I’d major in archaeology, and the “field techniques” portion of Anthro 1 were a requirement.
A few weeks of measuring primate skulls and identifying vegan dentition taught me that my skills did NOT belong in fieldwork!
The OP’s D is going to figure it out. Some fantastic choices!
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The “total duds” are actually also an important part of the college experience. My two college kids have both had the mix of classes described above. Some amazing and some . . . not. Learning how to cope with the un-amazing classes is an incredibly important aspect of college. My kids have had to learn how to approach crusty professors who have inflexible classroom and office hours’ policies, professors whose grading seems subjective and unfair, professors whose classroom teaching leaves much to be desired. These are incredibly important experiences for college kids to learn how to navigate. They have to learn how to overcome their natural reluctance to approach an unapproachable professor, adapt to different professors’ styles that aren’t a great fit for them, advocate for themselves in the face of some (mild) adversity, and yes, occasionally suck it up and receive a less-than-stellar grade. Obviously, you don’t want this to be your kid’s dominant experience in undergrad, but learning how to deal with some adversity is why they go to college! As a parent, it can be hard to hear about these experiences, but I try (really hard) to tell myself that facing these situations is actually good for my kids.
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Could not agree more.
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@arewethereyet.24 I want to say this tactfully, but your own anxiety is coming through on this thread. Have you considered seeing a therapist yourself? I had a kid with challenges and the transitional period with college looming was tough, and a therapist helped me a lot.
Many colleges- urban, suburban, even rural, often have coffee shops where students like to go for a change of pace. I was in Cambridge MA today and coffee shops are full of students and laptops. In fact, a town center or city spot for that was one of our criteria. It is not at all a sign of a commuter school: in fact I would read it as the opposite.
Your kid- and you- really just have to take the leap. She can go with her gut. Visit, attend classes, walk around and jump.
My kid with bipolar 1 and ADHD was in a single room at my urging. They quickly changed to a roommate. The presence of another person was helpful. But also, there is a lot of nosiness about kids with singles and peers actually ask why you have one!
I know this is hard but honestly I think you are overthinking some things here (English curriculum). I would focus on mental health. It sounds like she is easily thrown. College can always wait a year until you both feel more comfortable.
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Has your family decided which campuses it will visit? Have any visits happened yet? Would love to know where your D is currently in the selection process.
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