Forgot the main point; The reason we tried for “top” boarding schools was that I believed that she would have a better fit and enjoy it better, and mostly not because of better connections and college prospect they might or might not give.
I maybe naive, but I still think that she wouldn’t have been too stressed academically at top boarding schools so I don’t see it was push for the success. More like it was her who wanted to try top boarding schools for apparent better extra curricular opportunities, and I pushing myself to be a better help in that but ultimately becoming less successful than I hoped.
But successful enough and satisfied as she is going to a very good boarding school, much better than what we initially wanted in the beginning of our search, after all.