<p>More good thoughts out your way. Our boys-my sister likes to say the frontal lobe hasn’t developed, I say the brain synapses just don’t connect.</p>
<p>I say they are missing an anticipation chip.</p>
<p>I say they haven’t learned that the real world doesn’t just reboot when you run out of lives or cheat codes. ;)</p>
<p>so we make excuses for young adults, but then willingly send them off to war at 18…k</p>
<p>It must be nice to have two perfect girls…k.</p>
<p>momof2inca, I SO hear you!</p>
<p>We send 18 yr. olds off to war because they have a sense on invinsibility based on their young age and inability to really,really understand the consequences.They also are easily brainwashed into being the perfect fighting machine. Try this with a 22 yr. old man.</p>
<p>sorry tigger mom for moving the thread away from your original post.</p>
<p>…or, not so willingly.</p>
<p>But regardless of whether they are at war or at school, many 18-20 year olds regardless of academic ability continue to need to emotional support and guidance from their families or the adults in their lives in order to successfully transition into the real world - some more than others (did I mention my S has Aspergers? Talk about not understanding the real world!)</p>
<p>Again, best wishes to you and your son Tigger Mom!</p>
<p>Tigger Mom,</p>
<p>Adding my warm wishes to others wishes for you and your S. I hope you feel supported because while these boards typically address issues involving good things that are kids are doing, no person is perfect, and all parents have had their concerns about their kids. I speak from experience. Many wonderful adults also had bumps along the way in their own lives, and grew as a result of those experiences.</p>
<p>Wow! I am overwhelmed with the support and positive advice I have received on this forum. This hit us hard. My husband lost 5 lbs in 5 days and then there’s that sleep issue, too. Because of your generosity I was able to meet with my son on campus, meet with the dean and take son to his first therapist appt with a much clearer head.
The hearing process consisted of 3 students, 1 faculty member and 1 staff member and the dean who was just there to make sure that all rules were observed. My son was there and he was allowed to have one person from the school for support (who could not speak). He chose a close female friend who is aware of the entire situation so I think that was a good choice. The hearing was begun with the request for my son to tell the situation in his own words and then he was asked questions re this. The session only lasted about 20 minutes and the members of the hearing have 5 days to come up with a decision. No decision so far. He is allowed to appeal any decision.
Son is holding up very well–much better than his parents or so it would seem. My husband and I get the sense that he will be able to weather this regardless of the outcome and so will we.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. You have all truly made a difference in my life.
Tigger Mom</p>
<p>Tiggermom…thank goodness that part is over. It’s comforting to read that your senses tell you that you will all be okay regardless of the outcome. I’m sure you are still very concerned but you have already shown your son that his family stands with him as one. Honestly, there is nothing more important in life than to have someone stand by your side in the tough times as well as the good times. Arrgghhhhhh…kids.</p>
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<p>Great words to hear! Good luck to you all and know that our thoughts are with ya’ll. </p>
<p>I agree that it was a good choice to have a female friend accompany him who is aware of the entire situation. I don’t know the particulars, but if he has good relationships with female friends, it may be that the incident was blown out of proportion and will hopefully work out. </p>
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<p>Amen!</p>
<p>Glad you were able to be there for him. Hoping for a good decision.</p>
<p>You sound so much more positive now, that’s good to hear that step 1 is done. It sounds pretty fair that 3 students are a part of the ‘hearing’, makes it less intimidating for your son.<br>
I suppose there will be a parallel one for the girl to say her piece. Hopefully it all ends soon, and without any major consequences.</p>
<p>You know, love and support from parents never ends. We have a bottomless pit of it when our kids need it. And tough love too, when called for. Uuuggghhhh.</p>
<p>Five days deliberation+appeal time sounds like the term is in the bag. I would think the exams and grades are on the books before long.</p>
<p>Great point, hazmat. That didn’t even occur to me.</p>
<p>I believe the phrase is:</p>
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<p>Tigger, I don’t know if your idiot knows what great parents he has–but believe me, your clear-eyed, supportive but firm stance is very unusual in these days of helicopter parents. No matter which way this judgement goes, you’ve done a superb job as a parent–standing shoulder to shoulder with him as he was judged. Wherever he goes in life, he knows two brave, stalwart people.</p>
<p>You and your husband have modelled excellent behavior and response for him–despite the diet of incredible worry. You fronted up and did the right thing even when your hearts were breaking and you wanted to throttle him. </p>
<p>Well done to you both.</p>
<p>Fingers crossed–he’s learned his lesson for all time. Fingers crosses the judges think so too.</p>
<p>So sorry about all of this…is he able to concentrate well enough to do right by his courses? Encourage him to focus and do his best, in case he gets to keep the term’s grades. My hunch is he will be allowed the credit, even if he is suspended for a term. His infraction was defying his probation…and they do have to do something, unless they decide she is not credible…but he did call when told not to do so…sigh…spring and poor judgement! Best of luck, and CC hugs to the anguished parents…Lorelei</p>
<p>Don’t think I can say it any better than cheers. He knows you are his soft place to fall. He knows that will you stand by him and have his back. But he also knows that you will not blindly overlook transgressions, when there are some, and that you will expect him to pay the consequences. What better job can a parent do? Here’s hoping that you can get back to sleeping, eating and … well… breathing, soon.</p>
<p>I’m glad it’s working out for you. Take your husband out for a big meal now! Best of luck.</p>