<p>You say your D is calling home to see if she can go to the Public School. You also say you would like to see her go to the Public School. Where’s the problem?</p>
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What “needs” can your daughter, who now wants public school, have that you have to consider? Given the fact that the private school was her idea in the first place, I don’t see the value in taking away her freedom of choice because things have soured for her. How can it benefit her to turn a possibly mistaken choice into an object lesson? </p>
<p>You know, if you force your daughter to go to the private school against her will, and if she has problems adjusting either due to the mean girl or other factors – you and she are both going to have a miserable year, plus she is going to be resentful and blame you for it. It’s hard enough to live with a 14 year old girl without having to rehash the same battle on a daily basis – and if you have a long drive with her in the morning on the way to a school she hates, that is certainly what you will get. </p>
<p>Why don’t you call the school and find out whether you can withdraw and what the financial penalties are? You can ask whether it is possible before making a decision.</p>
<p>So many people had such great and helpful responses, that I thought I would update you. Daughter is at the public school. The situation with the private only got worse, not better, as the mean girl made a couple of other attacks. It became clear that she really did not want my daughter at “her” school. I contacted the school and except for one official, was not really impressed with its handling of the whole disaster. I became positive that we made the right decision when one of my daughter’s acquaintances told her that her name was called out the first day and then the administrator said “oh she won’t be here, she’s the one who…” and then blabbed the whole story to the homeroom!!! (I had asked in my communications with the school that some of the specific things said by the mean girl be treated confidentially"). The school is apparently pursuing the 1/2 tuition, but I am hoping we can eventually settle the mess without having to litigate. Meanwhile, public school has given my daughter a much more flexible schedule, basically tenth grade courses in ninth, and a wonderful drama class (no elective at private school, only study hall), so we are happy. Thanks again for thinking through this with me.</p>
<p>Thanks for the update. It sounds like your daughter made the right choice.</p>
<p>Great update. I hope your story gets around the city/town you live in. Shame on the officials at that private school.</p>
<p>Here’s to a great school year for your daughter!</p>
<p>Excellent suggestions as to what to do about the mean posts. If you really do not want your daughter to go to that school, and the only reason she is enrolled was to make her happy, you certainly should consider withdrawal. If your daughter does not want to make the effort or fight to give the school a try despite this set back, it does not bode well to send her. You can tell her that you did not like the idea of this school anyways, and it is because of that nasty girl and the posts.
If you both agree to give it a try, get in touch with the school psychologist. Most of these private schools have one. Have her schedule regular, frequent visits during free periods with this psychologist. That way someone is there who is tracking this issue. I have found that these psychologist are underutilized in many private schools, and they are eager to have a case to advocate. That way she will have someone on the inside aware of he situation and concerned, ready to act if something bad occurs.</p>
<p>they won’t sue…you have the power, they have a reputation to try and salvage</p>
<p>they will push a little, to see if you will cave, then I would bet they will let it go if you push back</p>
<p>don’t stress over th $, they failed your daughter and they know it</p>
<p>If you just MENTION the blabbing in the class, they will leave you alone</p>
<p>IF they do push for the money, wrte the board of directors, etc, saying you will be GLAD to go to court and show exactly what happend from the students to the staff to the parents to the administration</p>
<p>you have nothing to lose, and they have something very important…reputation, the $$ is nothing to them, they are trying to make a point by pursuing you as it if is your “fault”,</p>
<p>so enjoy your new highschool and enjoy a happy daughter</p>
<p>My comment way back there on page whatever was brief, but was not meant to be “flip.” The behavior you are describing is almost unique to girls and is called “relational aggression”. Look, they even have their own website:</p>
<p><a href=“Relational aggression -”>Relational aggression -;
<p>If you google the term you will get many hits.</p>
<p>At our schools they have workshops for girls to try to dissipate this type of behavior. Studies have found that if it is allowed to continue, these mean nasty girls become mean nasty women.</p>
<p>now is the time to get D the book queen bees and wannabees, she ca look back at the mean girls and laugh, now that she is out of it</p>