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:rolleyes: Because the handful of times he’s asked the mothers (who are usually much more accessible because they’re the ones who show up at school), they’ve all referred him to the fathers. All but one, anyway, and that one is someone who’s been working with him intensively on a project for several months. She knows him better than the father does, plus that family is a bit more left-leaning than the others he’s had contact with and everyone understands that they’re going strictly as pals.</p>
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We’re talking about formal dating situations here; e.g., Homecoming and Prom, and usually the very first date he’s had with a particular girl. In any of those cases, by the time he gets to the parents, the girl almost always knows and has given her consent either explicitly or implicitly. He goes to the parents for their consent before making the Big Ask – the tickets and flowers, brownies, message in a puzzle, or whatever.</p>
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Not the date, but at their age (high school, remember – he’s not in college yet – we’re talking 15 to just barely 18 years), the parents do have that authority. And these are girls who recognize that fact and even appreciate it. Most of them, if he asked them directly, would refer him to their parents.</p>
<p>IMHO, you ladies are getting out the purple clothes and red hats over absolutely nothing. He is playing by the rules that the girls themselves have set. It may not be the way you want to operate; that’s fine. It is very much the way the girls in his area (at least the ones he’s been interested in) and their families want it.</p>
<p>I must say, though, that if you think a guy who hides out in the car and texts his date to come out is actually showing more respect for her than a guy who woos her parents as well as her… well, personally, life has taught me otherwise. YMMV.</p>