<p>I’m guessing that Mother Teresa was referring to original sin when she said that she had Hitler inside her. If you believe that everyone is sinful, then it makes a certain sense. Even if you don’t believe in original sin, it makes a certain sense. Those of you who said you do not have the potential to be a Hitler or a Mel Gibson are assuming that you will never suffer a traumatic brain injury or illness that could drastically change you. Hitler may be a reach, since most hateful people don’t have his power, but Mel Gibson is not a big reach. A traumatic brain injury can change the personality and an injury in the right spot in the brain can turn a peaceful person into someone capable of spewing hatred and behaving violently. Even cases of severe PTSD can make a person violent if there is a perceived threat. I’ve had training in post-combat behavioral health and have heard many sad stories of people who return from war and suddenly turn on a loved one violently because they were triggered or because of tbi. My point is, the human brain is complex and the capacity for violence is only an injury or illness away from anyone. In that sense, I do agree with Mythmom. Many abusive people have serious wounds of their own from when they themselves were abused and that warrants some compassion.</p>
<p>Anybody recall Mel’s father’s rants about the Jews making up stories about the Holocaust? My memory isn’t so good, but I do recollect having such a visceral reaction that I refused to see Passion or spend one dime that would go into Mel’s pocket.</p>
<p>The g/f chose to share some tapes, and I suspect she wishes she had more. I suspect that at some point, she wanted to stop being a victim and planned her revenge. She probably wishes she taped him talking about his ex-wife and children, his friends, co-workers, etc. He may not be ranting during these conversations, but calmly criticizing people. </p>
<p>I know I am speculating. There is so much literature on the cycle of verbal and physical abuse, and the downward cycle of relationships. Then again, as SamuraiM writes, alcohol or bipolar dx can lead to nasty words.</p>
<p>I, too, think that Mel is ill but that his behavior is despicable. I have compassion for those who suffer from mental illness, as abusers do, however, they too have a responsibility to seek the professional medical care necessary to control and correct their behavior. </p>
<p>Because he also is suffering greatly, I have compassion for Mel Gibson the person, as a fellow human being. But I can’t overlook what he is doing. And Oksana has to protect herself and her children.</p>
<p>Serial killers are mentally ill too- and I have compassion for their suffering. Hitler was mentally ill, and that may explain some of his actions- but would not exonerate them.<br>
I do also think that there is a very fine line between good and evil- the mentally ill cross it without the same regard as the healthy.</p>
<p>Anyone this out of control and suffering from mental illness usually is not able to contain this behavior to just one person. Where is the outcry from everyone else he is in contact with?</p>
<p>Where was the outcry when OJ was showing signs of meltdown? Where was the outcry when Michael Jackson was medicating himself dangerously? Where is the outcry when millions of abusers show signs of trouble? </p>
<p>If this case helps anything- I hope it will raise awareness of the warning signs of abuse.</p>
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<p>Verbal abuse in relationships occurs behind closed doors. These men may act very differently in public and with other people. This is VERY common in abusive men. There is much written on the subject.</p>
<p>I suspect that the ex-wife is lying about there being no former abuse. He’s apparently already in financial trouble and she knows that her financial future and that of all her kids is tied to his.</p>
<p>Yes, the one person who would have experienced abuse would be his ex-wife. She may be lying and covering up his abuse or in denial.</p>
<p>I noticed that Robyn (the ex-wife) said there was never any physical abuse. She did not comment on verbal abuse. That might be possible if his behavior escalated over the years- verbal abuse first and then only later, under more stressful situations, physical. After 28 yrs of marriage to him, she probably knows what would set him off physically and made sure she didn’t “provoke” him, if you will.</p>
<p>Also, the fact is, even if nobody else witnessed this behavior, he did act this way with Oksana and the tapes can’t be denied as to demonstrating domestic verbal abuse (allegedly he also hit her and knocked out teeth too…not sure the proof on that though).</p>
<p>I cross posted just now with pipmom. Yes, the ex-wife may be denying just physical abuse but this man is a controller who uses many forms of verbal abuse and not everyone is familiar with the terminology of abuse when it is not physical. For example, his threats and his name calling are both two categories of verbal abuse.</p>
<p>I agree, his ex has much to protect, and she only denied physical abuse. Also, his ex wife says he was a wonderful, loving father… Mel admits in the video posted on this thread that after his DUI arrest, he told his kids about the arrest while “downing” alcohol in front of them. Was his ex wife standing there watching him be a “wonderful” father.</p>
<p>His adult children have not spoken out, although they also would have been witness to abuse of their mother. </p>
<p>I think in dysfunctional families- and it doesn’t seem much of a stretch to call a family with Mel Gibson most likely dysfunctional- there is a lot of guilt, shame and self- recrimination among those who live with the abuser. Often the victims feel as if they are somehow the “cause” of the abusers behavior.</p>
<p>^yes, and he was after all…Mel Gibson…even more difficult to speak out given his fame and adulation over the years. not to mention all that could be at risk if they tarnished his reputation.</p>
<p>There may not have been abuse in the past. His ex wife may have been married to a different guy. His older kids may not have had any issues or seen or experienced any negative treatment from their dad. This could be a fairly recent issue - a neurological or mental disorder, due to alcohol or other chemicals.</p>
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<p>First, let me state I find the language and sentiments expressed in the audio clips abhorrent. I quit listening. </p>
<p>However, Robyn Gibson’s sworn statements to the court - not a press release - support Mel Gibson in his custody battle against Oksana. Not Robyn’s divorce or custody fight, she could have easily stayed quiet. I would hope that she wouldn’t choose to lie in a sworn declaration to the court about past abuse, especially when the court’s decision involves the life of an infant. Notice Robyn didn’t comment on the tapes or any aspect of Mel’s relationship with Oksana - only that she and her seven children experienced no abuse.</p>
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<p>Cross-posted here ^^^. I had an uncle who turned verbally abusive and convinced his wife cheated on him. She prepared to divorce because of the rants and abuse, when a brain tumor was discovered. My uncle had surgery, the tumor was benign and the verbal abuse “cured.” (Admittedly simplified version of surgery and recovery.)</p>
<p>In the cycle of verbal abuse, man could be at the stage of being very apologetic and charming. I have no way of knowing if Mel fits this pattern. Hypothetically, he could be at his best with his ex-wife now. She married him young, had 6 kids, and probably a people-pleaser. After trying to be the perfect wife and mother, she could have been devastated when he had affairs or left her for another, younger woman. An abuser excuses his liaisons by saying spouse/girlfriend is inadequate. He plays on insecurities in the woman. When he wants to return to her, he praises her nonstop for her compassion and support. She feels vindicated, like she has won some great prize.</p>
<p>Again, this is hypothetical, suggesting Mel and his ex- are in the abuse pattern. In real life, I’ve seen this pattern occur many times</p>
<p>also, he acknowledges in the posted video, when asked about his racial and anti semitic rantings that he has always had this “anger” , and doesn’t know where it comes from. I assume he was telling the truth, imho, it is unlikely Robyn Gibson did not witness this anger, while he may not have been physically abusive. </p>
<p>Also, while it is very possible he has a true mental illness, perhaps bipolar illness, it is frankly equally possible he is a very angry, arrogant, controlling man, (not everyone with out of control behavior is mentally ill). we don’t know he is mentally ill and can’t simply assume so based on his bad behavior. and as others have stated, if he is, as an adult he has a responsibility to seek care, treatment, for alcohol dependency, etc.</p>
<p>He and Robyn had 7 children together- only 1 (age 10) remains at home. With the child of Oksana, Mel is an Octo-Dad. </p>
<p>My understanding is that Robyn is well respected in Hollywood as an honest person. Hasn’t their divorce already been settled, so that she does not really have anything financial to gain from supporting him now? I think so.</p>
<p>But Robyn may be supporting him because he still is the father of her children. Also, verbal abusers have like a Jekyl and Hyde mode where they can be very nice at times and turn into raging verbal abusers and controllers in a split moment. It is not as if they act like this all the time.</p>
<p>Mel Gibson has the disease of addiction. He has a brain disease recognized by the medical profession. It is not the same as mental illness. I have no idea if he also suffers from a co-occurring disorder (eighty percent of people who have addiction do).</p>
<p>When people are drinking or using, it can take some time for them to stabilize. That Gibson was not slurring does not indicate he is in recovery. His words and actions do not mean that he is evil. He is a sick man (no doubt about it). </p>
<p>Don’t take your limited view of alcoholics, your thoughts on old Uncle Harold who was sweet when he staggered, and think that applies to everyone. You also haven’t spent every waking moment with dear Uncle Harold, so you have no idea where his path has taken him. Everyone is different, but Gibson’s behavior is not at all out of the ordinary for someone who has been struggling with maintaining recovery for decades. AA rooms across the globe are filled with people trying to make amends for the wrongs they committed before achieving sobriety.</p>
<p>This is what addiction looks like, folks. The whole dopamine/reward system completely out of whack. Not enough dopamine receptors. The mid brain highjacking executive functions and turning someone into a monster. A high percentage of people sent to prison have this disease. THEY ARE NOT BAD PEOPLE. They are sick people. Most domestic violence and crime involves alcohol or drug use. We are all paying for it, at the very least financially.</p>
<p>Something good can come out of Mel Gibson’s troubles. The public can become educated on a disease which affects TEN PERCENT of the population at some point in their lives. No one can say that they have been unaffected by the disease of addiction, either directly or indirectly.</p>
<p>Instead of throwing Gibson in the pond to see if he floats, why not focus the outrage by making a financial contribution to organizations which are researching this disease?</p>