Any stories or guidance when a merit award for well over 50% of total cost backfires and pits parents against child?
I thought we received the best Christmas present of all today but the reaction was door slamming.
You need to give more of a backstory. Did kid want to go someplace else?
Your question is very vague. I am going to assume parents want student to attend school with merit – and kid at least wants to get all offers on the table and visit/discuss more. If that is not the case, please explain the scenario.
And then it depends… what expectation did parents set prior to applications? Was kid told they had to pick the best financial deal, regardless of their preference between schools? Or did parents suddenly announce this as the primary selection criteria once a good merit offer arrived?
Would need a lot more background info . . . hard to say.
He isn’t against going but his feeling is that we will checkmate him now.
It is very early in the process but his reaction to our joy was the opposite. Neutral would have been fine. Immediately, he focused on the GPA and residence conditions.
He thinks you will force him. My kid does that too. It doesn’t mean anything, as long as you don’t plan on making him take one if the scholarships.
What are the GPA and residency conditions? Some GPA requirements (like a 3.5) may be hard to maintain, even when reasonable throughout high-school.
The GPA requirement is 3.3, on campus residency all 4 years and the program requires at least 400 hours of “approved” internship.
I would not force that either.
With our son we’ve tried to give him some “skin” in the game. We may give him some of tuition that we save (not all - that’s for sure) in the form of a car, or some money for his savings account.
But there is more to a college decision than money.
I would try to see it from your son’s perspective. It’s hard to know how he’s feeling from what you’ve posted. Are there any family dynamics which make him feel that you would do more for a sibling, or yourselves, than him? Those issues can get tricky.
When my son got his first full-tuition offer, I was thrilled. It could turn into a full-ride offer too.
I was probably too thrilled. I had to dial it back - a lot - and reassure him that DH and I wanted him to have all of the offers on the table before he reaches a decision. We have a specific budget and he knows it.
He’s since received two more admissions, one of which is another full tuition offer and the other could end up being a full ride. I’ve celebrated each one, but stressed to him once again that until he’s received all acceptances and offers of merit aid, no decision is needed.
With my kid, it helps that his view point is that he isn’t seeking to maximize the amount of budget we’ve set up. We will still give input, especially on the pros and cons of each option. Ultimately he will have to live with his decision so he needs to be comfy with it.
If you can, reassure that no decision is needed at this moment and careful consideration is warranted.
Sounds like he does not want to attend this school, but is unwilling to tell you that.
I can understand your son’s hesitation. Those are pretty stringent thresholds and requirements. If this is very early (first or second acceptance), I’d stay lowkey - happy but still open to what else he gets.
I agree with others. He may feel you will force his choice.
@SouthFloridaMom That is what is puzzling. He went out of his way to directly submit to the department chairman a 12 piece journalism sample about the girls soccer team failing attempt for a state championship and now he is negative about the whole thing. It was a brilliant account of the team’s quest.
Nothing with siblings. He is very young, late August birthday, and very much the Oscar Madison type but he writes with amazing grace. His uncle was a Pulitzer finalist several times, perhaps it runs in the family.
If he doesn’t have to make a decision about this school now…drop the subject.
@thumper1 That’s the plan.
Before application time, what parameters (financial and otherwise) did you tell him in terms of how the final choice will be made?
Sounds like he’s experiencing some lack of confidence to consistently meet the requirements to maintain the scholarship.
The campus residency may be too much. Not many students would want to eat campus food for 4 years
@ucbalumnus Money has never been discussed . His list of schools was put together based on his uncle’s opinion on the best journalism schools. He was cool on all accounts. His uncle is a big hitter so he was very happy with him being involved.
Actually, I missed part of the scholarship. It is over 60% of the total cost.
Is money an issue? Have you looked at the cost (NPC Calculators) of the schools he applied to?