Things I wanted to say since my kids been in middle/ high school and then to the top Theatre schools in the country:
To EVERY SINGLE soulless cruel high school theatre teacher who treated my gifted acting son as if he wasn’t worth the time or you actually INTENTIONALLY tried to harm my gifted brilliant kind actor/son: You didn’t DESERVE my son in your class and when he finally got to top NYC conservatories, I was able to go to your administrators and tell them what a FAILURE you were as a teacher and how DESPITE your unprofessional and unethical behavior, he got to the best theatre schools in the country . Because I NEVER allowed him to lose hope, because I stood up for him ALL the time. Because I NEVER gave up on him, he will go on to do great things and YOU will all be confronted by ME with your superintendents and principals for your lack of faith in the kids. My son will never forget how you treated him and how you didn’t encourage him. He will ALWAYS remember his loving mother ( Im also an artist) who saw GREATNESS in him and encouraged it. When he’s famous and successful I will make sure YOU all hear about it. The small ignorant minds of those that teach our brilliant kids is disgusting and needs to be stopped. In Finland, they pay teachers 200 K and they have to pass far more difficult tests to be teachers than MDs.
Your thread title caught my attention and then your mention of your theater kid. It immediately took me back to an experience my D (now 27) had in Science class in 9th grade. It so happens she is also a theater kid (her entire life) and went to a “top” theater school and is now a professional working performer in NYC who is pretty accomplished in her field for her age (many say) and has received national recognition in terms of awards and fellowships related to performing arts. The 9th grade science teacher did not like my daughter and there were ongoing issues for her with him in his class that made for a very negative experience. Thankfully, she had strong self-esteem, or otherwise, he would have done a lot of damage with his constant put downs of her. She was the stand out stage performer at our high school, in several respects, but also starring in all the high school productions, even when she was still in the middle school. But she was/is also gifted academically (she was accelerated academically too and graduated HS at 16). However, she was NOT, nor ever was, a diva type personality, and in fact, was very well liked and a leader. I recall this one (of many incidents) in this Science class with the teacher who truly disliked her, when the kids had to pair up for an activity in class and there were an odd number in the class and my D didn’t have a partner for the activity and the teacher said, in front of the whole class, “who would want to be a partner with you, performer?” It was not only a put down of her, but he brought into it the fact that she was a performer! What? No, she didn’t like science, but what is wrong with being a performer?? It has been her life’s work. Of course, there is a lot else wrong with that shaming of her in front of the class. And it was only one of many really bad moments in that class (an issue she did NOT have in any other class ever in her life before or after). I had forgotten about it until I had read your post!
PS, to the OP, while I understand your wrath, I don’t agree with your final statements in your post about teachers, because like in any other field, there are excellent ones and ones that are not. I respect the hard work of teachers and used to be one myself. Just sayin’ I would not draw the conclusion you did and would focus on specific people or relationships and not an entire profession.
My mind is kind of reeling about this. “To EVERY SINGLE soulless cruel high school theatre teacher” who mistreated your son? How many can there be in one high school?
I’ve read CC for a dozen years and something seems off about your post. If you really are the mother of a brilliantly talented actor who was snubbed in hs but accepted at top conservatories for college, congratulations! Time to move on now. Show biz is really tough and no matter how brilliant your kid is, he’s got a lot of rejection ahead of him. It’s not healthy to see rejection as deliberate cruelty. You sound kind of … enmeshed.
I’d never say a thing to any teacher to be honest. I’d get over it and move on before the stress affected MY health.
Just as with any other profession there are great and horrid folks with most falling in between the two extremes. I’m sure all of us have stories from our past (both good and bad). Comparing stories is fun 10 - 20 years later or even in college when you’re the student. Holding grudges is something else entirely.
Vent (the other thread listed above is for that) and move on.
Next time let it all out by writing about it in a journal or in the “notes” app on your smart phone, and save it. A few years later open it up, read it, and say to yourself, “Sheesh I was bent out of shape over incidents that I barely remember, my child has forgotten about, and, in the long run, all this drama made exactly zero difference in my child’s post high school life. I’m so glad I wrote this as a note to myself and didn’t post it online where someone might someday connect it to my very successful child.”
I once did just that so that I wouldn’t have to hold all that anger in my head. A few years later I re-read it and had to laugh at myself. From the distance of a few years was all so petty.
After I had a good laugh at myself, I deleted that “note”. Rants that are posted online live forever.
My kids graduated from major music conservatories. When it was clear that the public school’s music orchestra program would be more about unhealthy competition between players and less about real development, our children simply didn’t participate. Similarly when favoritism in one of the youth orchestras became destructive, we left the program. (We were not alone, this was a reality, not simply a perception on Mom’s part.)
These were matter of fact decisions. If the situation wasn’t helpful to my children, why would I ask them to suffer through? We left - and found better alternatives. I was disappointed, but didn’t feel the need to rant. I don’t even feel animosity towards the instructors. They were doing the best they could with the situations they had.
My kid had a menace of a teacher in hs, an impossible sort (and at a point when she wasn’t strong enough to just swim his tide.) In college, she and I realized the best of her high school education truly related to this one horrible guy. He’s the one, not the sweet teachers or the ones who routinely patted her on the head. His demands and standards impacted her own, as well as her perspective. Today, despite the woes of the moment, we credit him.
Time will tell. It’s too soon to predict greatness.
“The small ignorant minds of those that teach our brilliant kids is disgusting and needs to be stopped”
Perhaps they could start with Grammar…
This post is ridiculous- but then again, I’m a teacher. Guess I’ll just go back to destroying children’s hopes and dreams … after all, there are SO many of them, it takes time
Who’s crushing dreams? You need a mega dose of resilience to win in the arts. Is OP going to go rail at diectors who don’t hire her kid or have the gall to critique him in auditions?
This is what I remember from my high school. When the students move beyond the capabilities of the high school orchestra and there’s a serious student-teacher clash, the kid pulls out (much to the chagrin of the teacher) and works with a community orchestra, state youth orchestra, any group BUT the school orchestra. Who loses? The school orchestra. I don’t think the child (or parent) thinks much beyond “glad to be out of there” and moves on. I suspect the same thing happens with other performing arts.
