@TatinG, IMNSHO that is simply monumentally rude.
Jym626, I think your comment shows that you don’t get the meaning of a microaggression. Of course many of these comments were simply insensitive and weren’t intended to be hostile. That isn’t the point. It’s the effect that the comments have, not the intention with which they were made, that counts. As people say, intent isn’t magic.
Or being assumed to be “suspicious persons” by those who call the police on them (not all racial profiling is done by police – some is done by people who call the police). Even if the police were perfectly trained, not racist or abusive, etc., it should not be a surprise that black people get annoyed because the police keep getting called on them.
Maybe we could all understand this better if we thought about assumptions made on the basis of age because we can all relate to that.
I’ve let my hair go gray, and I limp a bit because of an old leg injury. When I’m in an airport, at least two-thirds of the time I get waved over to the keep-your-shoes-on, leave-your-laptop-in-your-bag line intended for people who are obviously no threat to anyone. Part of me is pleased, but the other part is thinking, “Hey terrorists, you really need to recruit some old, slightly gimpy white ladies.”
And it’s not just older age that comes with stereotypes. Ask your high school or college-age children how they’re treated while shopping with friends vs. how they’re treated when shopping with you. They’ll probably tell you that when they’re with other young people, they’re treated like dirt. Only when they’re with an older person do they get the respect that people in their 40s, 50s, and 60s take for granted.
Calling me ‘ma’am’ is a micro-aggression.
My reading of the definition of a microaggression is that it’s something, intentional or not, that makes the person on the receiving end feel like they’re a member of a group which is somehow lesser. It can be done maliciously (“You URM’s can just skate into he Ivies”), neutrally (“Can I touch your hair?”) or even with thoughtless good intent. For instance, years ago my best friends moved to a lovely but homogeneous small town. He’s Indian, she’s of European descent. They found that when he walked alone in town people often asked him if he needed help or directions, asked him where he was from, or otherwise treated him like a tourist. It never happened when they were together or when she was out alone. People were trying to be friendly and helpful, but the subtle message he heard was “You look different. You don’t belong here.”
Serious question here. I went to the bank today, I’m white. I complimented the black teller on her hair style. Sincerely. Did I microaggress? Or was I just being nice? (We had a very positive interaction, although I felt like she gave me a funny look after I mentioned her hair. Once we continued to converse pleasantly, I think she interpreted my (possibly rude?) comment as having positive intentions.)
One thing I have learned over the years is that black women are hypersensitive about their hair. Remember when black women made a fuss about Gabby Douglas’ hair during the Olympics? White women were generally incredulous.
Of course, one needs to know all about the “good hair” thing and all that to understand where this is coming from. I love braids and dreads, styles that I could never achieve with my hair, and that wouldn’t look good on me anyway, due to my bone structure, or lack thereof. But I am afraid to compliment black women on their hair.
The concept of “microaggression” is a backwards treatment of language in which:
a) what is meant is devalued versus how a person hears (or even overhears) it,
b) meanings are implied to the lowest possible standard, meaning the one which imposes guilt.
This is an outgrowth of the Soviet conception of language as a weapon, one in which the meanings of words could be interpreted to mean what the state and its appartchiks wanted them to mean. So you said x and the state’s people determine that meant y and you were then accused and convicted of a crime against the state only based on how they decided the meaning of your words.
The infiltration of this kind of anti-democratic, anti-human rights methodology into the “leftist” - for lack of a better word - forms of political operation has been the way the “Marxists” (and I don’t mean Communists) found a way to keep their dialectical methods alive after the USSR was revealed to be a cesspool of horror and fell apart as its own people rejected its existence. It is by these methods that the “oppressed” take control of language and seek to regulate behavior to overcome oppression through the categorizing of speech and action as inherently oppressive. This has become embedded in a less obvious, less strident manner in standard human rights and human resources approaches to problems. I’m not, to be clear, talking about diversity.
Years ago, I was visiting my sister, who lived in Honolulu. I got on the bus from downtown to go back to her house, which was opposite from Waikiki, where all the tourists went. The bus driver assumed I was on the wrong bus and told me to take the other one to Waikiki. I had to convince him I knew what I was doing.
Microaggression, or just trying to be helpful?
I would conclude the bus driver was just trying to be helpful. But I have a pretty high tolerance for this sort of thing. I figure if someone is looking to insult me, they will just come right out and do it directly.
I just can’t wrap my brain around being insulted if someone compliments or mentions my hair, asks me where I am from or says they are surprised at my profession. Conversation starters or just small talk in my view.
I “get” the meaning, Donna., I just think its another unnecessary, PC-ish made up concept in this day of labelling something as something else. And I am short. Talking down to me is a microaggression.
One person’s “microaggressive” is another person’s hypersensitivity. If I offer a compliment to someone it has one sole purpose…to offer that person a compliment. In fact, I’m a big fan of macroaggressiveness. If my intent is to be aggressive towards someone, there will be very little doubt in their mind about my meaning. I get so tired of people “perceiving” some underlying meaning in everything that is said or done in their presence. I have way too many other things to worry about in life. The day I believe someone else’s perceptions define my intentions will be a cold day in Hades…or is that too offensive to Satanists? :-q
I think many of the “microaggressions” in that list are rather poorly thought out.
What about all the ‘race is only a social construct, there are no races’ claims?
Sometimes a student’s story is not credible or valid. “She didn’t answer when I spoke to her, she is a racist”. “Oh, that’s not it, she is deaf”.
Even if you check your wallet no matter what the race of the person is (or depending only on the place and age/clothing of the approaching person)?
Try saying the opposite …
Even it is true?
Why single out male more than female, is calling out female students more often considered OK?
I deny the credibility of this.
Have to remember some people are just awkward. Not micro aggressive, just not gifted – at all – in the art of gracious or even perfunctory speech.
To accuse such a person of being microaggressive for saying something thoughtless/unintentionally rude/unintentionally hurtful could itself be considered microaggressive toward the poor awkward person.
Especially true for high functioning autistic (aspergers) folks. Not couth to microagress against those with disabilities.
I’m flashing back to the 1980’s, when a guy I worked with remarked, after a cocktail drinking lunch, " Everyone is so sensitive these days.A friendly pat on the butt, and these girls get so offended!" I was slightly older than him, and had more clout, if you can believe that, so I just thought that he revealed his stupidity.As he wasn’t the butt patting type, I figured it was just the alcohol talking, but I did remind him about it later. To his credit, he was ashamed.
All of us white folks of a certain age have family members who referred to “colored people”. Or “The Colored”. As a child of the 70’s, I really believed that prejudice was over, and that folks who used these terms weren’t necessarily racist, but were ignorant, even if well-meaning. Language changed, but these old timers didn’t.
So here I am, no longer young, and there’s a whole bunch of words I should not use, and things I should not say.Should I join the club that says, “Everyone is too sensitive these days. Microagression is ridiculous!” I kinda lean towards that, because some of the complaints do seem silly.
It all comes down to me, as an individual, trying to understand and be kind to the people that I run across. And I guess I do want to be the “cool kid” and surprise the young people that I meet by not using the expressions that they expect from an old gal like me.But it’s less adding a new word to my vocabulary and more like using the words I already have in my vocabulary to treat other people with respect.
Back then ‘colored people’ was the polite term, hence the name of the NAACP. I don’t see how it is any different than today’s expression ‘people of color’. Negro was also a polite term but no one uses it anymore.
“Is it a microaggression or just rude to show up to a party, look at the food on the buffet and say (so that everyone can hear you) “There’s nothing here I can eat!”?”
I could see it being pretty aggressive if the speaker were a white guest at some kind of ethnic gathering. If you went to the Laotian Students Association picnic and acted grossed out by the Laotian food, then I’d say yeah.
Is it improper for a male to tell his female colleague that she is pretty? I think he should not say so because of the sensitivity of this kind of “compliment.” How do you think about this?