Absolutely, but I will still think it, in the most passive way possible!
Adding, that there is something amiss in our progress toward a “colorblind” society if we have to edit or omit commonplace words depending on the race of the listener.
Thank you, @DecideSomeHow, for saying what I was thinking.
Good grief, everybody needs to get over themselves. What a bunch of crybabies. If someone says something you don’t like it is your responsibility to let him or her know about it. Then that person will either become enlightened or think you are being too sensitive. Life goes on.
Oh, and will I now hear from babies who feel like I marginalized them by suggesting they cry too much???
If it is, how does that cut in this conversation? Does it make you realize that maybe you offended him when you said that he was articulate?
The possibility that black people might behave badly doesn’t excuse bad behavior by white people.
@Hunt You assumed that I had committed a microaggression against the black man which I did not indicate. You are now committing a microagression against me and I am offended.
I wrongly assumed that we were having a discussion about this topic.
“It has a long (compared to how long most current college students have been alive) and dishonorable history among far-left activists whose anger seems to have a two position switch (“off” and “maximally outraged”, often stuck at the latter). Being maximally outraged does get media attention that they crave.”
I hadn’t thought of the people who go on TV to complain that greeters in a store told them “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” as far-left. I think they’d take offense at that characterization!
@Hunt My post was about this topic. You made an assumption to further your agenda.
If a black guy calls me open minded, I don’t consider that he is behaving badly.
What, my agenda to promote niceness? What’s your agenda?
Here is a follow-up to the original Atlantic article:
"Nevertheless, here’s someone on Reddit discussing my article. “I’m south Asian,” he writes. “But, whether it’s my goatee or gelled hair, I’m usually mistaken for being Hispanic––typically Mexican. Hispanics inevitably always speak to me in Spanish, and even other south Asians often don’t realize I’m one of them… Because of a non-profit I help run, I get asked ‘Where are you from?’ on a weekly basis…Victimhood culture tells me this is a ‘microaggression’ based on racism that should offend me. But it’s not. We live in a multicultural society, and it’s not always clear what someone’s background is. I don’t assume they’re racist just because they’re curious about my background. But victimhood culture tells me I should.”
The point isn’t that this guy’s perspective is correct or incorrect, but that different people of the same racial background will have different opinions even on what seem like the most clearcut cases. So what to do when it comes to muddier slights or grievances that few members of a group are bothered by and that no one could reasonably be expected to assume? Those “outliers” will inevitably experience “microaggressions;” and they’ll arguably be ill-served if they regard them as aggrieving assaults on their dignity rather than inevitable parts of a pluralistic society. There is not and never will be a fixed list of things that all educated people can be taught that will enable them to predict the emotional sensitivities of everyone else."
I keep wondering how the guy could have won in this situation.
Not send her an email at all?
Exclude the Hispanics like always-microaggression!
Send her an email apologizing for the fact that despite the event the soccer game would go on?
Protecting the feelings of the poor fragile Hispanic woman? How condescending. Besides, where does he get off assuming that just because she’s Hispanic she’s attending the event? She’s more than just her ethnicity.-microaggression!
Send an email encouraging the team to attend the event?
Sure, it’s not enough that a Hispanic woman invited them. The big strong dominant white male has to save the day.-microaggression!
Use the word soccer instead of futbol? Sheesh, you can’t even give a token nod to Hispanic culture when addressing a Hispanic woman during Hispanic culture week?-microaggression!
IMHO, microaggressions are real, for instance when a 3rd generation POC is asked where they’re “really from” or the African American child of suburban professionals is assumed to know how to handle himself in a rough neighborhood, but when every little thing is perceived as a microaggression the result is likely to be a shutdown of communication. For instance I wonder how likely it will be in the future for any of the white males on campus to want to engage this student in conversations about race, gender or any other difficult topic. It seems like this is a way for everyone to lose out on hearing new perspectives.
This is true, but it is not an excuse for failing to make an effort to be sensitive to the people around us. That’s just good manners–something which has taken a pretty serious hit in our recent public discourse, in my opinion.
I think anyone who says something you find offensive will apologize and edit future discussion once they know it bothers you.
Perhaps there was some backstory to this blog incident that explains why it went from 0 to 60 without changing gears…
People, in general, are relieved to know what does not offend in a world where offense is everywhere. Is a person Black? African American? Caribbean American? Do we need a word?
Are people disabled, handicapped? Otherwise-abled.
Is a little OCD or a senior moment offensive? What about autistic or retard for someone odd? Offensive?
If the person perceives offense, then yes. Adjust your words and move on. People who insist that there is no reason for another to be offended are missing the point. The recipient of the offense has the feeling, and the person saying it does not get to control that.
But we are all responsible for acting accordingly, propotionately and with dignity when it occurs. Not to blow things up bc that solves nothing. It just furthers someone’s agenda.
As for co-opting a cultural trait…welcome to the club. If you want diversity and inclusion, you can’t just insist on your inclusion, you also need to include others.
Also…a little growing up wouldn’t hurt the blog poster.
How should a Walmart greeter make a determination of your likely religious holiday affiliation? I think happy holidays is perfectly appropriate, there is now a US tradition of family events and days off associated with the end of the year. Unless you are bemoaning the diversity in the US and probably more important, the very real threat to traditional churches that people just don’t want to go anymore. It is extremist, in a diverse society, to assume anyone is celebrating Christmas or Hanukah or Ramadan.
I think the risk of offending another with a micro-aggression limits the amount of real conversation one could have. The two soccer players is a perfect example, I think the discussion of differences between club soccer (at this school) and hispanic futbol could have been useful for both sides. Sort of a, I have been disappointed that this club is not more similar to what we play at home (and I would think there are very hypercompetitive futbol clubs in many cities anyway).
Isn’t the goal to find a common humanity? Familiarity also furthers comfort, so as groups intermingle in a social way, which includes some honest blunders, people, not strike that, a person will be less likely to think say Hispanic and more likely to think cool guy who likes to play soccer and has some different culture than mine.
If I self-identify with 2 or 3 groups and then find everything directed at me to be the result of my affiliation with that group and become hostile to casual conversations or invitations to play soccer, how is that helping me to succeed in anyway or eventually be happy living here?
I do think that it is helpful for people to understand that some inadvertent comments may offend others. Certainly I have had very intelligent and actually very supportive male colleagues make pretty egregious statements about women, women in the workplace, etc. To get along, maybe you let it slide, but maybe it is better to nicely point out that you are saying something offensive (especially if you are in a management or leadership role) … etc.
Going on some website, quoting private texts and calling people various slurs … not at all helpful.
Looking back at the exchange between the two soccer players, what I notice is how rude they both were. I don’t find the initial e-mail to be offensive, but somebody who did could have responded quite differently. And the guy who sent the initial e-mail could also have responded quite differently. I think the article makes a good point that both of them took the same approach to the dispute, which was escalation with competing claims of victimhood. And the end result is that people are taking sides between them, which accomplishes nothing.
If we demand that people be polite and learn manners, we are expressing a classist and racist microagression.
I learned that on another CC thread.
“IMHO, microaggressions are real, for instance when a 3rd generation POC is asked where they’re “really from” or the African American child of suburban professionals is assumed to know how to handle himself in a rough neighborhood, but when every little thing is perceived as a microaggression the result is likely to be a shutdown of communication”
Agreed. The “I, Too, Am Harvard” campaign illustrated microaggressions really well – asking to touch a stranger’s hair, for example. But sometimes kids get enraged over something tiny and silly, and IMHO, that’s what happened here.
I may be reading this wrong, but the woman’s Tumblr post leaves me with the impression that what she was most angry about was the soccer team and the fact that the guys weren’t passing to her, and that the email was just the thing that set her off.
Isn’t it classist and racist microaggression to assume that politeness and manners are somehow associated with class and race? Cultures that really reward rudeness and poor manners … are they what we are trying to foster with an awareness of microaggression?
This case is pretty egregious in that the response seems rude and dismissive of what could be perceived as a genuine interest in bonding across cultural lines or stereotypes.