<p>I am a Millburn parent. Dr. Miron is our principal for one year and isn’t very good at public relations yet. (He’s actually a very caring principal and I am sure will take this very seriously). My daughters tell me that this does indeed go on here and involves about 12 seniors and 12 freshman girls who are popular (out of a school of 1600) kids. There is secrecy and it’s hard to catch the ringleaders. The vast majority of our high school are lovely, hardworking, acheivement oriented kids and I am grateful that I can send my children there to get a fine education. I really think that most high schools have some kids who are bullies and our school gets an article because it’s so well regarded and makes great reading.</p>
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<p>I doubt very much that the hazing at Milburn just started this year. I’m sure it has been going on for decades, with everyone turning their heads.</p>
<p>I guarantee that, if a few schools like Williams made it known that they were no longer interested in students from schools like that, the parents of Milburn students would feel a strong sense of urgency about changing the culture at Milburn.</p>
<p>These colleges have 10 applicants for every slot in the freshman class. They don’t Milburn.</p>
<p>Not long ago, about four or five years ago, a highschool in our area had a huge hazing incident involving the girls who were on the powderpuff football team. Girls were arrested, suspended…it was all over the news, and apparently it had been a tradition for quite some time, but this time girls were actually seriously hurt, injured and humiliated.</p>
<p>It started up some big conversations about hazing and it had a pretty good impact, in terms of educating the kids, and probably getting control of this in the general area. However, I wouldn’t be surprised now that those freshman are gone if something doesn’t come up again at some point in the not to distant future. Teenagers are not very nice and “The Lord of the Flies” is a classic for a reason.</p>
<p>It is interesting to me that your daughter knew about this, as a matter of course. It’s odd how it is usually known and taken for granted among the kids. I really do wonder how many places this kind of thing is really going on and how it could be dealt with on a more routine basis.</p>
<p>If the kids all know about, have always known about it, lots of parents have probably gotten wind of it too at various points in time. And no one has tried to do anything about it so far? What have the parents and administration tried that didn’t work? </p>
<p>I’m guessing nothing. Just shrugged shoulders, kids-will-be-kids, its-not-a-big-deal sort of turn a blind eye?</p>
<p>This to me isn’t just a principal’s problem at all.</p>
<p>laris- is Dr Miron the wrestling state champion from Milburn way back in the 70’s?</p>
<p>I think those parents should be fired. Why is it the school’s problem that those kids are misbehaving? School’s responsibility is to teach academic, not to raise our kids. At some point we, as parents, need to take some ownership in raising our kids. We need to stop blaming it on someone else. Even the kids who are getting bullied (freshmen), what’s their upbringing that they would allow someone to do that to them. My older daughter joined a sorority in college. I never ever questioned if she would do anything against her well or be bullied into doing anything she didn’t want to do. I have a lot of friends in Short Hills, and most of them have raised wonderful kids.</p>
<p>My kids went to Millburn High. I think that the hazing is just disgusting, but it is a symptom of a “sports team” mentality, rather than a mindset of the students. The girls’ fall sports teams are notorious, and in my kids’ time there, several soccer team seniors were suspended for a few games for doing the same thing. Of course there was a huge hue and cry. Parents were upset because their precious darlings would lose out on college recruiting, and the coaches were upset because the win-loss percentages were affected.</p>
<p>Don’t think that all of us here are like those brats. My kids are well-behaved, kind, polite and all that they should be. We are not wealthy and work very hard to help them. They won scholarships to top schools because of their hard work and talents. No trust funds here! I think that many towns have students and their parents who feel that they are “entitled” to everything their hearts desire. Millburn is no different from Princeton, Ridgewood, Livingston and other upper-income New Jersey towns.</p>
<p>tom1944-yes it is.</p>
<p>I can tell you that he had a stellar reputation within the wrestling community as a high school student. Not only was he a great wrestler he was not considered a “jock brat”</p>
<p>Tom, that’s great but that doesnt qualify him to be a principal. He used dogs to sniff out drugs at school (none were found). He does not have the requisite sensitivity to students feeling secure at school. His statement that some girls were dissappointed if they werent on the sl*T list was sickening. If he couldnt figure out there was something wrong, he shouldnt be the principal. This isnt PR – this is him showing his true side and it isnt pretty. </p>
<p>If this only effected MHS kids, it would be one thing, but when these kids go off to college, they take their learned behaivor with them. Now my guess is most kids are nice. But unless their parents step up to the plate and demand action, it will continue.</p>
<p>Oldfort, I dont beleive in blaming the victim. And btw, one victim did complain, her parents went to principal and still nothing happens. Pretty big discouragement for others to complain. They’re afraid things will only get worse. And they will unless the school changes.</p>
<p>kayf- I have not seen the article. I will read it sometime this week. I will not say the article is wrong but I will tell you whenever I have intimate knowledge of a situation that ends up being reported in the newspaper or on radio what reported is generally not factual correct. There is usually a hint of truth that is used to bolster the reporters viewpoint but much of the story is generally overblown.
I work for a government taxing agency and many stories are reported with an anti-government pov or look how nasty the tax department is or look at this poor victim of the government. So my experience always colors my reading of these stories.
I also do not think being a “mean girl” in high school necessarily translates in becoming a hazard to those you attend college with. Now I do believe if the administration at MHS has looked the other way and let certain behavior but students at risk the BOE needs to look into that and deal with it. Bill Miron could still be a very good man and not done what he should have, if so there are and should be consequences.</p>
<p>That principal isn’t going to do a darn thing. Odds are that he was hazed and hazed when he was at Milburn High and then was hazed and hazed on his wrestling team and fraternity in college. He condones the hazing. So do a lot of other people or it would stop.</p>
<p>Just like the colleges condone the drinking and hazing, until somebody dies, and then they act like they had no idea. Puhleeze.</p>
<p>interesteddad- I would bet you are correct. The hazing has been going on for generations and everyone in power is looking to be protected by “plausible denial” that they knew or at least the extent. Here is a quote " Sure we were involved in good natured stuff but we had no idea they were doing things to that extreme"</p>
<p>Now- if an administrator stepped in immediately upon his/her hiring and took strong action against these kids for hazing, especially if they were considered the “stars” of the school would the town and the BOE been supportive?</p>
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<p>How does that do anything other than penalize innocent Milburn students who may not have anything whatsoever to do with the hazing culture?</p>
<p>BTW you all may want to google Glenbrook North HS, a high school in the Chicago area (well-to-do suburb) that had a similar hazing situation a few years back.</p>
<p>Tom, there are actions that schools can take short of suspensions, including 8 AM detention, loss of parking prividges, loss of team captain position, that may seem minor to you, but trust me the kids dont see it that way. If the school had taken less drastic actions for stuff in the past, my guess the hazing would have decreased. But they let it get it out of hand.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl, if enough people put pressure on MHS, the parents will demand the school do the right thing.</p>
<p>I have a very hard time with bully or hazing of any type. I think it is not to be tolerated, ever, and it is in a chain of bad behavior that can lead to much worse behavior. It does not always lead to worse behavior, but most really bad behavior began with bullying. When something like this happens, any school should have seminars and workshops regarding tolerance, proper language etc. It is not ok for girls to call other girls “sl!t” or other commonly used derogatory words (likewise for the boys). </p>
<p>In my college even the most placid of sororities had some hazing. My friend was transported in a laundry bag in the trunk of a car to some park somewhere. Fortunately it was not at night and she managed to get back to campus. It was not part of a lifelong trauma, I am sure, but I can tell you that when it happened, she was pretty upset. I don’t think that she thought that the initiation would entail such conduct. </p>
<p>I also know that with girls, especially, some of those who the adults in charge would never suspect of such disgraceful behavior can be the instigators. They might even be “leaders” among their peers. It is, in part, the school culture that allows this. Of course the home is responsible for teaching values, and some of the parents might be scandalized by what their darlings are doing, but some parents will just look away. The community has to set some standards. Just to say well there are plenty of nice folks there, so it is not problem is not really enough. That hundreds of copies of a derogatory list flooded a school is really quite a statement. The poor judgment of young people needs to be addressed, and some attempt to change is needed, or it will never get better.</p>
<p>Here is my opinion - when you initially take charge of a new team, section, school etc. you need to look carefully and attempt to identify problem areas. Once you identify these problems you need to immediately deal with them because if you let them slide you ultimately own them. Now in this situation once you identify hazing you need to deal with it, if it is ingrained in the schools fabric you need to bring your superiors along for the ride in getting rid of it. You need to bring it to their attention with documented recommendations on what you think should be done to make the hazing stop. The problem is if you do not see hazing as a problem than when something bad happens you own it. I bet everyone of us could identify a problem we have noticed when we initially are put into a new supervisory position and we have to bring a problem to our boss that they ignored for a long time.</p>
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<p>I guarantee that Biffy and Buffy losing their shot at top colleges because of Milburn’s hazing would generate sufficient pressure to stop the hazing at Milburn, and probably Short Hills, too.</p>
<p>Same thing with the high school binge drinking. For the life of me, I don’t understand why colleges don’t just blacklist the high schools that send them drunks. They’ve got 10 applicants for every slot. They can find high schools that don’t send them problems.</p>
<p>Of course, I’m being facetious. The colleges like the $50,000 a year full-pay tuition checks from Milburn enough to put up with some bad-behavior problems.</p>
<p>The article is a joke. Millburn was ranked #1 in New Jersey by New Jersey Monthly, so let’s see if we can dig up anything to make them look bad. Oh my! Senior girls *blowing whistles in the face of freshmen girls!!! * The poor things will be scarred for life. I wonder if any of the freshmen were sold elevator tickets, or directed to the rooftop pool. </p>
<p>Do you think maybe there are schools in the area where kids legitimately fear for their lives? Maybe were threatened with knives or guns? That would be a more interesting story to me.</p>
<p>NJ resident – the parents of girls pushed in a locker would disagree with you. When people pay the taxes they do to send their kids to a HS like Milburn, they IMHO rightly feel that the principal should pay more attention to hazing. Maybe if your daughter were called a slut or pushed in a locker you would feel differently. Not dealing with hazing is a mistake. By his admission, the principal knew about this and just didnt care. Shame on him. Shame on the seniors who did this.</p>