<p>In todays NYTimes there is an article about senior girls hazing younger ones. This is a top rated HS in New Jersey. The principal does nothing. And then we wonder why there is hazing in sororities? I hope none of these girls go to school with my daughter.</p>
<p>kayf–I read the article, its concerning and surprising that the senior young women would have so much hostility toward freshman girls. the fact that it is talked about as an annual rite of passage is disturbing and for the principal not to act, in the face of complaints by angry parents is strange. does your d go to Millburn High? I used to live in Maplewood so I know the area well.</p>
<p>No, I graduated from GLHS. I am concerned that these young women will go off to college with the mindset that hazing is totally acceptable. It is shocking to me that a HS like Milburn with many resources would allow this.</p>
<p>I agree. I wonder if there will be more to come from this. sounds like there was a parents’ blog and that’s where it was discussed…</p>
<p>Wow, this is a top top public high school in NJ. I see that the Gordie Foundation offered a screening about hazing last May. I guess they need a refresher screening.</p>
<p>Apparently the principal needs a refresher course. He sits there and smiles about the matter. He knew the list was being made up of girls to attack. All he says he’ll do is tell people not to do it next year. No repurcussions for this year. He should be looking for a new job, he has failed to do his job.</p>
<p>Apparently – according to student blogs – the situation got much worse this year. And he does nothing.</p>
<p>“Apparently the principal needs a refresher course. He sits there and smiles about the matter.”</p>
<p>I think it fair to conclude that the Principal is doing what he’s rewarded to do. The question isn’t so much “what” he’s doing as “why” he’s doing it. JMHO of course.</p>
<p>Really, New Hope? I understand there will be a School Board meeting on this Monday. Time will tell if the Board knew what was going on. I almost fell over when the Principal said that in the past some girls were upset when they were on the sl*t list and some who were upset when they werent. What type of leadership is this? Because some girls (misquided or not) wanted to be on the list (according to this “educator”), the principal, who knew all about it for 10 years, didnt put an end to it. </p>
<p>He says he can’t just suspend anyone with a copy of the sl*t list, they would just say they picked it up on the floor. Of course he could, if he put the word out in advance. We suspend kids for possession of drugs, alchohol. Doesnt matter where they got it. What would he do with a list with the N word or the K word?</p>
<p>And according to the NYTimes, at least one girl lodged a complaint about physical intimidation, and still he does nothing.</p>
<p>I know two lovely young women who graduated from MHS. Apparently it was all their parents influence, and not the schools.</p>
<p>“Why” does the Principal think it’s appropriate to take this view? Ignoring a complaint about physical intimidation is normally a career-threatening action. Unless of course …</p>
<p>As to why the Principal is ignoring this? My guess is he knows he let the situation fester and it got worse and he is to blame (in addition to the Hazers) </p>
<p>Please finish your final sentence. Unless what?</p>
<p>I found a the article <a href=“http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/19/nyregion/19hazing.html?_r=1[/url]”>http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/19/nyregion/19hazing.html?_r=1</a> My take is that the Principal is underestimating the seriousness of hazing and thinks it’s just something that happens.</p>
<p>… unless the Board has known about the hazing for many years and has told the Principal it’s OK to stay out of it.</p>
<p>I know that sounds odd, but it can be a lot like the relationship between corporation CEOs and their Boards (“The Board examined the CEO’s performance carefully and decided that $300 Million was fair compensation for the year”) … the two often act as one. In our own district school system it took two years to rid ourselves of a Superintendent who kept a quarter million dollar slush fund for his personal use … all duly approved by the Board.</p>
<p>Coming from NY, I never heard of “Short Hills” and the “infamous” Millburn HS until I got to college, many moons ago. Although one of my close friends went there (a guy), I have not been impressed with many graduates sense of ethics and kindness for others. It may be a top or the top school academically, but falls far short in other qualities IMHO. That the principal does nothing shows that it is ok to behave this way. We have had family who used this school district, and always encouraged us to move there - no thank you. </p>
<p>Just to say that this is done in HS so it is ok is the height of ignorance. Did he forget to read Queen Bees and Wannabes? No Odd girl out? Also in terms of anti bullying, I would suggest looking Peter Yarrow’s Project Respect - “Don’t laugh at me” a wonderful program. If the educators are so misguided how can the students turn out ok? </p>
<p>Now for all those MHS parents to flame me…</p>
<p>anothermom2-
I’m NOT a Millburn HS parent, but live a few high schools over geographically.</p>
<p>This area can be a challenge in child rearing. There is lots of $$$ that CAN lead to a highly developed sense of entitlement in SOME children/families. </p>
<p>Luckily, we lack that financial ‘advantage’ and our kids attended a more diverse HS.
Not excusing bad parenting or bad principal-ing, just see that it can happen.</p>
<p>The kids are academically prepared for the top schools and full pay so the pipeline will stay open.</p>
<p>Having lots of money doesn’t make you a good parent or kind person; having less money doesn’t do that either. I agree that there is probably a subculture of entitlement and “mean girl” at MHS, and it is interesting that the athletes were singled out in the Times article. But I am also reasonably sure that for every “bad” one there is a “good” one of similar good fortune and talents; I also strongly suspect that comparable vulgarity and cruelty can be found at high schools in many parts of the country and at varying socioeconomic levels. </p>
<p>As a long-ago teenager in a much less affluent community I certainly experienced that in the negative sense. And as a parent in a somewhat more affluent setting I felt my own children were very fortunate to have friends who were smart and kind and gifted in one way or another (as well as or despite many of them having a lot more money than we do). Parenting is always challenging; the challenges may be different depending on the setting, but with all due respect to an earlier poster who said “This area can be a challenge in child rearing. There is lots of $$$ that CAN lead to a highly developed sense of entitlement in SOME children/families,” it is really not reasonable to say it is harder to be a good parent in Short Hills than in an impoverished part of Newark. Teaching respect for others and maintaining certain standards of ethical personal interaction are best done by example and the example doesn’t require either rags or riches as props.</p>
<p>Fair enough New Hope. Like I said, we’ll find out more after the Board meeting tomorrow.</p>
<p>Tom, while there are some colleges who are more lenient toward full pay, not all, and not the ones the Short Hills kids and their parents really want. </p>
<p>A propensity toward bullying is one of the most serious things a college should be on the lookout for, as it can much more negatively impact other students. Especially residential colleges have a duty to make certain all of their students are safe. At this point, how can colleges make that determinatiuon for female Millburn High School students? They can’t.</p>
<p>The reason hazing exists is that parents and school officials condone the behavior. Don’t believe me? Start a post suggesting that fraternities should be abolished and watch out for the incoming fire.</p>
<p>Start a post that your favorite elite college (let’s say Princeton or Williams) should simply take a hiatus from accepting Milburn students for three or four years to send a message about how they view the potential for students to bring hazing to campus. Duck for the incoming.</p>
<p>^^^ That last point doesn’t make sense to me. Absolutely, refuse to admit students from Milburn or anywhere else who have a documented history of hazing behavior themselves. But all Milburn students? It wouldn’t be right to refuse to accept students from high schools where rampant drug dealing occurs, in the name of sending a message that will prevent drug dealing on campus. Ditto gang activity, sexual assaults, or weapons charges. </p>
<p>I would love to see the Milburn hazing participants strongly disciplined. With their particular principal in charge (and I’d love to see him demoted, if not fired), that seems unlikely. But I believe that people should be held accountable for what they do, not for where they happen to come from.</p>
<p>mattmom-
Agree completely with your statement “Teaching respect for others and maintaining certain standards of ethical personal interaction are best done by example and the example doesn’t require either rags or riches as props.”</p>
<p>Of course, there are myriad challenges in raising kind, ethical children. That does not mean that my comment that high income families living in high income communities (such as much of Short Hills) do not often have to tame a sense of entitlement in their children, if they are of a mind to. Whereas the challenges of families in lower income communities are different, obviously. Not easier or harder to deal with, necessarily, just different.</p>