Miserable While Abroad

Parent Cafe
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<p>I spent a year in France during which I met a young woman who hated her school, the students, the locals - just everything. And she was there for the year, not semester - full 12 months. I personally believe many of this young woman’s issues were unreasonable and downright silly - a case of being overly defensive and closed to ‘otherness’ - but that’s neither here nor there. She didn’t leave the program, she simply focused on why she was there - getting her French to a much higher level and research opportunities she didn’t have at Amherst, her college. Years later she still shudders at her experience but has no regrets: she accomplished a lot academically, and the experience got her into a top 5 graduate program. </p>

<p>In other words - sometimes you don’t love study abroad. As with much in life, the key is reacting to this setback in a mature, productive way. Figure out if it’s worth it for you to “suck it up,” then – suck it up or return home. You do have that option, I’d imagine. </p>

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<p>It helps if there is some group you are a part of at home has a chapter or sister group there.
For example, if you are (even nominally) part of an organized religion, attending local services and meeting local members can help a lot.</p>

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<p>One of my brothers joined a local choir when he was doing a study abroad in France. It was a great way to make friends. My younger son used to go to cafes in Jordan and play backgammon with the locals. I think if you can find a way to connect you’ll be a lot happier. I’d also go easy on the Skyping. My son was in an immersion program and they asked him to limit calls to once a week. I think it makes it a lot easier to concentrate on the abroad experience if you don’t constantly get reminded about friends back home.</p>

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<p>DS really enjoyed his semester abroad in Singapore. Although he didn’t form many ties with the Asian classmates, he did a lot of fun travelling with other abroad students. (Admittedly the costs were lower. Sometimes he got a youth hostel room for $8, split 2 ways). </p>

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<p>The problems of the OP do not appear to be country specific. Belgium is one of the most cosmopolitan countries in the world. English should not be a barrier. The universities, with just a few exceptions, are located in cities that are very friendly towards foreigners and students. To keep it short, the cities in Belgium are MUCH easier to “get used” to than large ones such as Paris, London, or Barcelona. There is a HUGE expat community in Belgium. Getting American comfort food is easy … albeit why would one do that in such an epicurean paradise is beyond me! </p>

<p>Although it WILL be rainy and dark soon, the Fall in Belgium is phenomenal with seasonal food of a quality rarely seen elsewhere. Universities are vibrant between October and December. </p>

<p>Frankly, the issues must be related to emotional misses. Unless one is hampered by a really small budget, the possibilities are endless given the central location of Belgium. </p>

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<p>My D didn’t love her summer abroad (mainly because of the other students in her group and the teaching methods of the school). She hung in there, eventually found a few kids she liked well enough, traveled within the country and made the best of it. Not what any of us were hoping for when she signed up for the program, but not everything in life works out perfectly (and she got her foreign language requirement out of the way). She has no interest in going abroad for a full semester now but that is fine.</p>

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<p>Hi all – thank you for your responses. To clear some things up: I do speak close to fluent French, and am at the local francophone university in Brussels. I don’t have a tiny budget, but I don’t exactly have a large one either, and because my schoolwork is in a foreign language, I can’t slack off too much on it in lieu of traveling. I don’t want to meet more Americans while here, although I have some pretty great expat roommates that are from across Europe (I live in an apartment). The problem is, except for maybe a little too much connection to back home, I am making connections with people, and I am doing my best to get integrated, but even when things are going well (I’m really ill right now, so I’m a bit pessimistic at the moment, but even in general), I still feel so unhappy and I’d rather be chugging away at my job or my schoolwork at home. I feel spoiled for not liking what I’ve been given, but even the good aspects feel so bad. </p>

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<p>^^^</p>

<p>I think you might want to think again about WHY you decided to go abroad. What was it that attracted you to a city such as Brussels, and a program at the ULB? What is it that you dreamed to accomplish while abroad? </p>

<p>Did you plan to immerse yourself in your studies or did you plan to explore the areas around you. Most abroad programs are really meant to offer a lighter courseload and offer plenty of travel possibilities. Your location, again, allows for plenty of travel in and outside Brussels. You are a few minutes/hours away from cities such as London, Paris, Amsterdam. </p>

<p>The first days and weeks are indeed more problematic for most students as the Euro colleges are hardly residential in nature. They have all the make of a commuter school in the US and that makes it more difficult to find planned activities. </p>

<p>I would highly suggest to revisit the reasons you decided to travel abroad, and try to make those dreams happen. Did you go for the “politics” … then head for the EU centers that are close by. There are more foreign journalists covering Brussels than … Washington. Interested in international relations? You happen to be in a place that “explains” a lot of the recent problems with ISIS and the world poisoned by Sharia laws. You are in a city that has become more than 30 Muslim. A fascinating twist in history and a view of what will happen to many other countries. </p>

<p>Are you interested in food? Well, there is a great place at every corner? Are you interested in rhetoric? The ULB is THE school based on its famed experts. Do you like shopping? Take a (long walk) from your school down the Avenue Louise, walk by the Sablon (get some chocolates at Godiva or Marcolini) and continue to the center and Rue Neuve. You will cross dozens of nationalities and plenty of sights. Try to grab a quick lunch at Noordzee on the fish market or Decorte french fries. I guarantee you will feel better!</p>

<p>Something whimsical? Explore the walking tours of the “comics” and discover the house painted to honor the great tradition of Tintin, the smurfs, and many more. Like architecture? Look up Horta! </p>

<p>On the weeked, try to get a few friends together and take the train (or rent a car) to explore Antwerp (hotbed of design) or Ghent and Bruges. To meet plenty of students, explore Leuven (the Flemish one) … and the list goes on. </p>

<p>All in all, give the place a chance, and you will regret the day that your return becomes imminent. Fwiw, the stores will start carry all kinds of Halloween decoration. There are parts of Belgium who have responded to the US traditions (try Waterloo) and merged it with their superior products. After Thanksgiving, the fish marlet will transform itself into an icy attraction. </p>

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<p>Deutsche Bahn releases its tickets for after Dec 14 tomorrow, I believe. If you are looking for a dirt cheap trip somewhere in or around Germany, now (well tomorrow) is your chance to book one.</p>

<p>I would say though, that some of the tone in this thread has become a bit hectoring, and if you just decide that you prefer life back in the USA and around your friends and family, that’s fine. Humans weren’t really built to travel intercontinentally; jetlag is proof of that.</p>

<p>But focus your mind on the main purpose of study abroad: bragging. Work hard now so that next year you’ll be able to brag up a storm. “When I lived in Belgium…”</p>

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<p>I’m ready to go to Brussels now!</p>

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<p>That was supposed to read: You are in a city that has become more than 30 percent Muslim.</p>

<p>And the chocolates you really want to buy are from Leonidas! Again, head to the Sablon (Sand Market) and check all the stores around the square … the chocolates places, Wittamer, le Pain Quotidien, Pistolet, etc. Oh well, as far as food goes, there are dozens of guides available. </p>

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<p>Leonidas used to have a branch in Greenwich CT, that was great chocolate!</p>

<p>You don’t have to love your study abroad experience, but I do recommend that you pack as much experience into it so that you don’t regret not having made the most of it.</p>

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<p>OP - It sounds like you doing a good job trying to sort through things. We hope you feel better soon… that will help a lot. </p>

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<p>Have you been able to see a doctor? If not, go (with a person who can help you if necessary). Observe the differences with your family doctor - there will be many! And get some medicine. Highlight the fact you’ve been sick for the past (4?5?) weeks and that it’s making you feel like going home because you’re so miserable physically all the time.
Reward yourself (chocolate indeed!!!) Find a hangout spot you like :slight_smile:
Grading system: remember that numbers have a cultural value. Your study abroad adviser will know what they’re worth, ie., if you have a 50% it means a B etc.</p>

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<p>I’m thinking about it, but it’s actually been a couple different, distinct illnesses. That’s what I’m worried about…my study abroad advisor said on average, each student in my program fails one class a semester (after grade conversion)!</p>

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<p>Don’t worry about failing a class, as I doubt you’ll end up with an F on your transcript (no one would go to Belgium if it did). The experience of taking classes in another setting, with other teaching philosophies (which could very well be "no teaching philosophy, just speak without notes, writing on board, nor pwp, for 2 hours straight :p), learning new methods and topics, interacting with students who don’t know any other learning experience, figuring out how to survive that learning experience… that’s what matters. Get a Clairefontaine notebook (or two), a fountain pen with erasable blue ink, an “ink eraser”, and have fun writing smoothly (thinking how impressive that skill will be back in the US. So, little Belgians actually learn it when they’re 7, but ey, who will know when you’re back home beautifully handwriting Christmas cards?)
GO TO THE DOCTOR’s. Beside the cultural experience, in Europe, when you’re sick, you go to the doctor; you pay your 20 euros for the visit and pick up your medicines, get better and get back to normal productivity instead of dragging the illness(es) for weeks. If you’re sick with something else, you go back to the doctor’s. Simple.</p>

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<p>^ "Don’t worry about failing a class, as I doubt you’ll end up with an F on your transcript (no one would go to Belgium if it did). "</p>

<p>Where are you getting this from? Due to the different grading scales (a 65 is perfectly good in many places, but awful in the US) is not unusual for study abroad students to come back with F’s. This is mostly because their home institution insists on calculating what a 65 would be in their scale.</p>

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<p>Because if most students from OP’s college came back with at least one F on their transcript, how many of them do you think would recommend the program? Typically the grades aren’t counted in the GPA and appear as P/F. Sometimes they’re set aside entirely and simply mentioned, without any grade on the transcript. As mentioned above, typically a 50% in Belgium is equivalent to a B in the US. Colleges with decent to good study abroad programs have advisers (as OP indicated s/he had) that know the educational system and its grading characteristics, then offers a conversion that lets students who took a risk count that as a positive, not a negative.</p>

<p>Actually, keepittoyourself, since I’ve never heard of the practice you mention, can you name the colleges that are involved (with obviously unhelpful/untrained International advisers and/or harmful practices) so that it’s useful to readers?</p>

<p>Intparent, I think your daughter attended two universities abroad including full immersion (not in a “sheltered” - ie., “just for Americans” - program), how were her grades mentioned on her final, US transcript?
(I know that Dickinson has excellent study abroad and often is considered a case-in-point or role-model in that area, and as far as I know they “convert” everything and don’t count it against a student’s GPA, so how they handle it could be seen as a “best practice” case.)</p>

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<p>I’m not at a program that people from my college go to; I believe the last person from my school that went here did so somewhere from six to eight years ago.</p>

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<p>I don’t have any to hand sorry, and I think I may have oversimplified. The problem often seems to occur (from a quick google) when someone wants to study elsewhere: regardless of how the student’s home institution handles it, many law schools etc calculate their own GPAs, and require original transcripts from study abroad.</p>