<p>Well I don’t want to be a tease, so I’ll say that my total time in Belgium (mostly in Brussels) adds up to about 11 years, though split into two time periods. What about you?</p>
<p>My suggestions are indeed to buy some DB tickets for a change of scene and to accept being homesick/culture shocked to some degree. But also to investigate a SAD light and maybe consider visiting a doctor. But mostly, to accept that it will be difficult. After all, nothing worthwhile is easy. Especially since OP already speaks French, I doubt that we are really offering new suggestions.</p>
<p>Oy vey. You are both very familiar with Belgium, and that’s great.</p>
<p>Personally, I prefer xiggi’s approach, but then I freely admitted that I don’t suffer from the OP’s reaction to new environments. </p>
<p>I think the main thing is that the OP has to address her health issues in order to feel more positive and energetic. She may then have to decide whether to put her LDR on a back burner for now. But I bet that just feeling physically better would help a lot. </p>
<p>BTW, some past student posters who were having a hard time adjusting had not attained a local sleep schedule. The OP didn’t mention it, but if that is the case, it has to be a top priority.</p>
<p>Well, despite being a citizen with Belgian family roots that go back to the middle ages, I did not spend 11 years in Belgium, and my total after graduating from HS and college is around 18 months. I do not count the years from K-12 as I consider “children years” irrelevant to this discussion. I happen to think that the relevance ought to be related to be in the same age group and conditions of the OP, and being on your own! Perhaps you did spend those 11 years as an adult, and perhaps not. </p>
<p>As far as the suggestions you shared, I have no problems with them, as several are in fact closely related to what I wrote. Safe and except, that I added “tourist guide” stuff that were culled from my own experiences in the same “hood” as the current student. Again, I happen to think that offering a few detailed suggestions to break the cycle of “solitude” and “unhappiness” might have been worthwhile. I also think that addressing the health issue is paramount. </p>
<p>If the OP finds this thread again, perhaps you and I will be able to share additional experiences that might be helpful in her case. After all, sharing useful experiences, and preferably recent, is the tenet of this forum. In the meantime, I do hope you visit Brussels again. It is evolving! </p>
<p>So yes, I do have more adult years in Belgium under my belt than you do, and as I’m sure you know nobody there really gives a hoot about family roots going back to the middle ages - that’s a very American thing to care about (not a criticism).</p>
<p>Here are some quotes that have struck me as more hectoring than helpful:</p>
<p>“Frankly, the issues must be related to emotional misses. Unless one is hampered by a really small budget, the possibilities are endless given the central location of Belgium.”</p>
<p>“All in all, give the place a chance, and you will regret the day that your return becomes imminent.”</p>
<p>It is possible for people to be going through culture shock and other issues without it being their fault. As I’m sure you know given your vast experience there, this is actually pretty common in Brussels because of the vast numbers of people who are passing through for just a few months or years.</p>
<p>Oh, come on, it takes quite a few leaps and bounds to elevate such comments to the level of … hectoring! Again, I think we might rely on different definitions of the same term. </p>
<p>Perhaps a case of vagueness in chaining arguments! ;)</p>
<p>Hectoring maybe it putting it a bit strongly, but I’d definitely say that there was an element of “you’re doing it wrong - the problem must be with you!”. If I could go back and change the wording, I would, fwiw. I still think all the comments are unhelpful (as you know, what might be fun during a short tourist visit will be different during a long stay).</p>
<p>I suppose it depends on whether OP was looking for advice or understanding. I was trying to provide a bit of the latter.</p>
<p>" Perhaps a case of vagueness in chaining arguments! "</p>
<p>KITY, my answer borrowed from the OP’s original words:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>She asked about ways to the get out of it. I suggested to give the city and the region a chance by focusing on the positives. There wasn’t much I could have added in terms of what I called the emotional misses. I looked at ONE possibility that was available and seems pragmatic for the upcoming months of her stay. </p>
<p>I am sorry that you found my comments unhelpful. What can I say … that is what I would do were I in her shoes. There are many roads that lead to the top of the mountain. </p>
<p>OP hasn’t been on since Tues, but I think there’s no harm in keeping this thread receptive to her issues. Both of you know Belgium better than many of the rest of us. </p>
<p>I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you might have convinced me. I still think it’s better to sympathise rather than offer advice (OP surely knows there’s lots to do in the capital of europe), but she did explicitly ask for advice. So I might have to walk back the ‘hectoring’ remark. Apologies.</p>
<p>No need to apologize --even if I appreciate the thought. The nature of a discussion forum makes it normal to answer with bits and pieces, and not a comprehensive reply. And I think it is usually done without much editing. We read and answer on the fly! And sometimes we pick on certain points and completely miss others. I know I do it all the time! </p>
<p>I don’t think it has to do with Belgium at all, the big things I saw in her post were" long term partner" and “huge rift”. Personally, I think this is the biggie problem right now. Because of that I would say like others to get busy,stay busy. Good luck, hope by now it is easier for you.</p>