If she’s sure she isn’t interested in this program, I think she should follow @dfbdfb 's advice and report it. Don’t email him. Personally, I wouldn’t even copy the chair unless your D has established some level of rapport with him. This is a VERY common problem. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/grad-students-sexual-harassment_us_57714bc6e4b0dbb1bbbb37c7 If word leaks that your D reported him, I suspect that fact will make the next prof who is tempted to do something similar to her think twice.
I also suspect that the prof was encouraged by the fact she said nothing and if they should meet again at a conference or whatever, he’ll push the envelope further.
Well… he is in another arm of her major, it is actually unlikely that they will meet again. Not sure what she wants to do. In a past situation she reported some inappropriate behavior – and little changed. Not sure she is willing to make a formal complaint this time. I haven’t talked to her in the last day or so. She carries pepper spray – maybe that is the answer next time.
I am just thinking strategically and am going on the assumption that the Dept. Chair is under an obligation via University policy to take the report to the Title IX Office for a “formal” complaint. So he ends up doing the dirty work for her and it can never be said that she started a “formal investigation” of the events in question. She confronted the prof and informed the Chair and he then escalated it. Believe me, there are plenty of people out there who would claim she is making a mountain out of a mole hill with a formal complaint to the Title IX office. Confronting the prof and informing the chair helps her in that regard.
At the end of the day the the prof, the Dept. Chair and the the Title IX office will all be informed so it is the same result no matter how she intends to report.
I agree with those who are suggesting that she report the incident to the Chair of the department. HarvestMoon1 makes a good point. Also, in a sense, “the buck starts there,” with the chair.
Someone else who should be notified: The Associate Chair of the Department for the graduate program (assuming that it is not the man who reached for the name tag himself), or the graduate recruiting coordinator, or whoever organized the event.
This is the kind of thing that gives nightmares to the other faculty. They will not have a way of knowing that the student had already decided not to choose their department for graduate work. They also know that word gets around.
I don’t defend the professor at all–everyone should definitely know better. However, it is possible that the action was inadvertent. Perhaps the professor has a small child at home? I recall one time when my spouse and I went to a scientific conference, his former Ph.D. advisor was there, and we were all taking the train to another city. To reach the track for our train, we had to cross a pedestrian bridge. The former Ph.D. advisor remarked to us, “Oh, goody, we get to cross a bridge!” in a happy and excited tone of voice. He wasn’t being sarcastic or insulting–I am pretty sure he was just spontaneously saying something that he might have said to his own young children at the time.
@intparent is she close to any women in her field? Perhaps tenured professors? If so, she may want to tell this story to her and see what she says. She would likely know better than any of us if your D would be labeled a “trouble maker.”
I told my roommate about this because he went to a tech school that tried desperately to attract women. We are both on the fence about whether or not she should say something but ultimately came down on the side of yes- say something to the department because they’d likely want to know if something was affecting their ability to attract women.
Of course, it is entirely her call. I wouldn’t email the professor but that’s basically because I don’t have the guts to do it.
I am really just so sorry. I was thinking about your D last night and every time it crossed my mind, my blood boiled.
I wouldn’t email the prof–I can’t see that anything good would come of that. I’m trying to envision myself when I was applying to law schools decades ago and figure out what I would have done if a prof (of any gender) put their hand inside my shirt. I would likely have been stunned and not said anything at the time but would definitely at least consider letting the chair of the department (if that creep isn’t the chair) know in writing. What was done was definitely sexual harassment and would make me not accept an offer at that program.
I would tell her to tell the female advisor. I’m sure she’s dealt with this before (not this specifically but related sexism) an would almost certainly be a safe person to tell.
In all due fairness, I don’t think this is about the current political environment per se, this kind of crap has been going on a long time (and keep in mind I am not exactly, shall we say, a supported of the current regime…). That kind of sexual harassment is still very common in academia from what I can tell, it isn’t just things like schools using girls to try and tempt athletes to come to the school, there have been all kinds of reports of Phd advisors using their power to try and get favors out of women candidates, or worse, to in this day and age resent they are there, I have a good friend of mine who is finishing a Phd program at a prominent university in physics who switched advisors from the chair of the department to one of the other professors because as she put it, the chair was a creep who would do things like they would be having a meeting to talk about her research, and would be attempting to give her massages and such (she also said the university laughed it off when she complained, saying “oh, he is harmless”…she was smart, her cousin is a very well known lawyer with a top law firm who basically told the university if they didn’t let her switch advisors and monitor what was happening to her, he would file one hell of a class action lawsuit against the university after finding the other students who had been harassed, and file Title IX complaints with the federal government…).
As far as the jerk on the plane goes,that doesn’t surprise me, very few people seem to have common consideration for anyone else. I probably would object, and I have the issue in question, but I don’t think that changed, people do that all the time, people listening to music have it so loud it bleeds whatever noise they are listening to (well, when it comes out of the earphone it sounds like noise), people on my bus eat food that makes your eyes water at 30 feet, they have come to believe public space is personal space, and that is nothing new.
Definitely encourage her to run this by her female professor, I’m sure she’s experienced her fair share of boorish male behavior. I personally feel the professor crossed the line but someone who’s in a linear position might know the male professor’s reputation. Then your D can make the decision to report this incident or not.
I’m more troubled about being trapped on the plane with uber creepy guy. It has prompted me to do some role playing with my daughters so that they can be more comfortable escaping such a situation. I remember never speaking up and maybe need some practice myself! Sorry she was hit with all that.
Sometimes if the plane is full (as is often the case on flights I’m on) there may not be many options. I’d still ring for the flight attendant if he persists after being told NO flatly.
After some serious consideration, this is how I would advise my nieces. Ignore him. Get up as soon as you can. Find a flight attendant and say, very firmly, the man is making you uncomfortable and to please arrange a move. I don’t see how engaging with him in any way is necessary and I don’t want to take a chance on him following her off the plane. He is not his seatmate’s problem. He is the airline’s problem.
I agree the professor needs to be reported. This is important.
I am so very sorry your daughter has to deal with this. Maybe if my generation had been more willing to be labeled as troublemakers, this wouldn’t still be going on.
@alh your generation made it infinitely better for us youngsters. I doubt things will ever be “perfect” in my lifetime, but it gets better with each generation.
Yes, I generally believe that it does. But lately I feel like we are slipping back a little. I do not think I am overly sensitive and I usually have a pretty good sense of humor. But it seems like every which way I turn lately I see or read something that makes my temperature rise relative to women. Like this video of Jameis Winston speaking to a class of elementary school students last week where he said this:
OK, I stand corrected. I think as females we don’t like to “make waves” or “cause problems,” but I can understand the advice to talk with the flight attendant and have a prompt move of seats. Also agree with having the prof reported.
Personally, I do not think we’re slipping backwards. I think we live in a day and age where technology allows us to publicly shame people and come forward with our stories.
I think with each generation things get better and we get more vocal about the little things. What dissenters may call "whining about microaggressions.
