As long time CCers know, Son has Aspergers. I remember posting years ago how thrilled he was to have been invited to three HS graduation parties the year of his own graduation. Even though he was pleased to have been asked, by the third one (as only a guest, mind you) he was very partied out, barely stayed any time at all and was miserable when he was there.
Knowing our son, there is no way I would have planned a grad party for him. But we have one acquaintance and one relative who have sons with more serious issues than our son and both sets of parents are tone deaf. Even after 20+ years of raising their kids, their lives are filled with spectacular catastrophes. Sink or swim does not work for kids who will sink…yet some parents just refuse to get it.
I’m not saying the girl in the Miss Manner column is on the autism spectrum or has any other type of issues. It’s just that I recognize the letter of a clueless mother.