My child was deferred and then rejected
At MIT
He is heartbroken
He has been awarded full ride at Georgia Tech but had his heart in MIT
It pains me to see him like this
A rejection still feels personal
They are smart and they work hard but they’re still very young and they take it hard
Comments?
Georgia Tech is amazing—a full ride there even more so.
It is hard when kids set on such a specific goal with such staggering odds stacked against them. MIT has so few spots—admitting just around ~1300 students, fewer in some years. They just don’t have the spots for all of the amazing kids out there.
But what I have found is that while these brilliant, sensitive kids hurt deeply, they can also be extremely resilient—at least that is what I have found with my own.
For many of them, this may be the first time they experience academic rejection. Even for the ones that put themselves out there in situations where they have experienced rejection before, this is still going to be big…because it is likely one of the biggest decisions they have made to date in their young lives and also because college applications essays encourage them to get very personal and reveal their character and personalities…so it feels very personal.
Give them time to grieve. Hold space and listen but try not to catastrophize with them or engage with their second guessing. Reinforce that they worked hard and did amazing things that will serve them well in college and career and life. When they are ready, celebrate the college they choose and show your pride—they will eventually take that cue from you!
My daughter was a little worried since she wasn’t applying to my alma mater that I wouldn’t be proud, or if she didn’t get into one of her top choices I would be disappointed…I reassured her that I was getting the car sticker and the “mom” mug and t shirt and all the gear no matter where she chose.
And who knows where post-college will take them? MIT loves to take graduate students from outside of MIT, the better to bring more people into the fold and then send them out into the world.
A full ride to the #3 Engineering school is an ultra-elite level of accomplishment. With the $ saved, MIT will be a great option for grad school.
I have an engineering student at a different school in the last 18 hours of his BS. At least in his experience, the really cool course work didn’t start until he crossed over that 90 credit hour mark. So that’s like, one school year worth? The first 90 hours were kind of just the foundations.
Guess who is going to get a ton of attention from professors at GT from day one: your kiddo with full ride scholar on the resume!
Maybe stress to your student that now, all the study abroad opportunities are available with all that freed up tuition money, and the best laptop and tech gear?
GT is not like community college or anything, congrats and so happy for your student’s amazing opportunity!!
Thank you everyone for your kind words and wise comments
I appreciate it because I didn’t know how to help him
We parents always want to fix right away what ails our precious children but I felt lost and powerless
I will give him time and let him know I’m around
Blessings to all the parents and children
I am an MIT alumnus and I interview applicants. I imagine it is hard on the applicants that don’t get in as most are quite accomplished students and would probably do well at MIT. It is just a numbers game as there are only so many slots at MIT.
The thought that should give some relief to those who don’t get into MIT is that college is 4 years; your career is 40 years. Love the college that loves you. Do well and learn as much as you can. Then go have much more fun and learning in your career. You can and will accomplish much and in doing so, you make yourself and the ones that have supported you proud.
Thank you! This should be reiterated time and again. Parents should tone down the importance of highly selective colleges. Richard Feynman was not admitted to Columbia. Linus Pauling did his undergraduate at Oregon State. Silicon valley is full of people making major contributions who didn’t attend very selective colleges.
My son also. Deferred in early action and accepted RD. It’s been his dream since he was around 10 so I’m both thrilled and relieved.
so my son’s school did not offer AP, it was an International Baccalaureate school. A small school in an African country with 116 students in his graduating class. He got 1590 in the SATs and a total IB DP score of 41/45. Kids normally take three higher level (HL)subjects and he took four. I think it was relevant that he got 7, the highest score, in math, physics, chemistry and French, which kind of made up for the fact that he only got a 5 in HL English. That score should have been higher but I think he was just exhausted. Extracurriculars were good but nothing mind-blowing (running. MUN, film club, student government, and he is the drummer in two bands). He did have a very good rapport with his MIT interviewer who is still sending him stuff to read even now. Maybe that put him over the edge? He was deferred in EA and accepted in RD. We still keep checking the letter again and again, kind of unable to believe it.
Im also an international thinking of applying next year, do you mind sharing your brothers stats (SAT,etc)
Where are you from?
Iraq
Good morning
Need help with school decision
Child deferred then rejected from MIT
The biggest heartbreak ever
But this is what he has now and I need help
Georgia Tech
Princeton
U Penn M and T program
Thoughts??
UPenn M & T all the way!
Interesting. What if OP had MIT ? How do UPenn M&T and LSM compare with HYPSM ?
What are your child’s interests and is each school affordable?
I was about to blurt out “Princeton” but figured I would ask.
Congratulations to those who made it to MIT class of 2028. My DD is an aspiring high school junior trying to decide whether to EA to MIT or play it safe and ED to another Ivy. Her stats are very high 1500s, all As, 14 APs and all 5s so far. Varsity soccer and has a fairly strong STEM extracurricular.
Thank you in advance for all your suggestions and advice.
You can both EA to MIT and ED to elsewhere. Regardless, I don’t think EDing to an Ivy is “playing it safe” unless your child is an IMO medalist or something.
Interested in engineering but possibly work in finance
Interested in input regarding school per se
Without financial considerations at this point
Many thanks
Would love all the help this community can dish
Not sure this is right. Applying early to MIT prohibits applying early to other Ivy League schools (note correction below that Penn permits it, but not HYPS). There are some exceptions about being allowed to apply to certain public schools that have scholarship deadlines, etc. But not possible to EA MIT and ED another Harvard, Stanford, or CalTech.