MOB dresses for both daughters' weddings

Parent Cafe
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I haven’t started this kind of thread ever before, but must admit that I enjoy reading the threads of this sort by other members! So, I figure I should join in as both of my daughters are getting married this year. I think there is a lot of fashion sense by many of you ladies on here in my age range, though some of you have much higher budgets than I do. I tend to shop online. This may stem from living in rural VT for 33 years even though I have recently moved to a city. Still, online shopping has so many more options. So, for a long while i have searched for a dress to wear to both Ds’ weddings and have bookmarked many and have gone through them all again to narrow them down and consider ordering some.

D2 lives in NYC and her wedding is in late September in NYC. She is not into traditional, though is having a lovely wedding at a restaurant right on the water on the tip of Manhattan. It is dressy but not super formal, and a large majority in attendance will be peers of the couple. While the color scheme for the bridal party is burgundy and gold (though each person is selecting their own non-matching clothing), D doesn’t want me to wear those colors to match. D will be in an ivory gown.

D1 lives in Cambridge, MA and her wedding is in late May. This is a private ceremony and celebration sans guest list and is in NYC In the daytime. D is not wearing a bridal gown and has bought a beautiful ivory and gold short jacquard dress. She once mentioned to me about my going with lighter colors for myself.

Some considerations on my part…

*I don’t really want to get a full length gown for D2’s wedding because while I think her wedding is dressy, it is not super duper black tie and all and so I don’t think a gown is really necessary or will be worn by many. Also, gowns cost more than already costly special occasion dresses. I also think with my lifestyle, I won’t wear the gown again, whereas even a super dressy cocktail dress won’t be worn much, it COULD be worn again.

*Originally I had searched for dresses in burgundy or gold until D2 said she do not want me to wear those colors. That is fine and even opens up more choices. However, I think in the end, whatever color I wear, shouldn’t clash with the colors of the wedding party in terms of photos.

*Price…it would be great to find something for under $250. However, it is more important that I find the right dress that I love and that fits me (and the choices narrow since I am not a great fit for any kind of dress). But that said, I don’t want to go crazy on the price and likely will need shoes too. So, there is not a particular cut off on the price within reason.

*Style…I am 5’4" and overweight with a large bust. I am not sure that I would look so great in a straight dress, though am willing to try one. I likely would do better with A-line or some flair in the bottom half. Many occasion dresses are sleeveless and I am not opposed to that, but for one thing, there is the time of year, and another is that I don’t have great arms (my mom was fond of telling me that!). I am less keen on many so-called “mother of the bride” dresses as some shout out “mother of the bride”…like the dress with little jacket thing. I have looked more widely than under that category.

*Size…generally speaking, I tend to wear size 16 (different items or makes can vary). Even though many of my pants and such are size 16, one issue is that I have a very large bust and so dresses are obviously one piece, and sometimes a 16 doesn’t fit because the bust is too tight, even if the rest is fine. It varies by make. A lot of dresses only go up to size 16 though. There are less options for size 18. I need to work on losing weight by D2’s wedding, but the fact is right now my bust size can affect which dresses will work in size 16 or not. Some do, some don’t.

Here are the dresses I like the best in my online search for D2’s wedding and I would have to order more than one given I don’t know til I try them on and also the fit/size will be an issue for me. I am curious what you think of these particular ones!!..(I have as similar note into D2 who told me she would be happy to advise, but I know there will be a wait, understandably, as her work schedule is practically 24/7):

TO BE CONTINUED IN NEXT POST!:

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b:**

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/3-4-sleeve-fully-beaded/4286338?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=9173
Right now this is my favorite one. I am worried it won’t fit in the bust as it only goes to size 16, but I want to try it. I like the color. I think it is a good shape. I think it is not ordinary. It is very dressy, but not a gown. It has the sheer sleeves. I could wear a nude color bra and that would be fine with the mesh in front, but not sure it will work in the back. IF the dress even fits, I guess if a nude bra didn’t work, I could look into a strapless one. I would likely get black shoes so they could be worn again, but grey is a possibility. Because it is my favorite so far, though more than I was hoping to spend, I decided to order it today before it sells out and there is free shipping both ways.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/tadashi-shoji-lace-overlay-dress/3442383?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=Navy%2F+Nude&resultback=7382
This may be a second favorite. I would order the Navy/Nude combo. The shape might work for me, and the price is good.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/long-sleeve-fully-beaded-geo/4286337?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=2568
This navy dress is pretty, though more bling than the first dress which I liked better. The sheer sleeves are nice. Not sure if the straighter style will work, but it is not super duper straight.

http://www1.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/tadashi-shoji-three-quarter-sleeve-embroidered-dress?ID=1571830&CategoryID=1000488&LinkType=#fn%3Dspp%3D46
This navy dress is also pretty, though might be too straight. Hard to say.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/adrianna-papell-wrap-lace-dress-regular-petite/4066959?origin=category-personalizedsort&fashionsize=Regular%20XL-XXL%20(16-18)&fashioncolor=MULBERRY%2F%20NUDE
I originally saved this when I was trying to coordinate with D’s color scheme, before she asked me not to. I still like it and think the style might work for me, but I really only like it in the mulberry/nude, and so she may not want me to do that.

http://www.neimanmarcus.com/Rickie-Freeman-for-Teri-Jon-3-4-Sleeve-Lace-Overlay-Cocktail-Dress-Navy/prod169220193_cat9360738__/p.prod?icid=&searchType=EndecaDrivenCat&rte=%252Fcategory.service%253FitemId%253Dcat9360738%2526pageSize%253D30%2526No%253D90%2526Ns%253DPCS_SORT%2526refinements%253D4294965940&eItemId=prod169220193&cmCat=product
This navy one is pretty but costly at $500, though there is a discount code for $50 off bringing it to $450.

http://www.neimanmarcus.com/Kay-Unger-New-York-3-4-Sleeve-Square-Neck-Lace-Dress-Black-Nude/prod186580029_cat9360738__/p.prod?icid=&searchType=EndecaDrivenCat&rte=%252Fcategory.service%253FitemId%253Dcat9360738%2526pageSize%253D30%2526No%253D30%2526Ns%253DPCS_SORT%2526refinements%253D4294965940&eItemId=prod186580029&cmCat=product
This style may work for me and it is not ordinary looking. There is a $50 discount coupon.

All the above only go up to size 16. If none were to work, I would have to search further.

I just found this one at Saks online that comes in size 18 which surely will fit, and I like it, but it is quite expensive for me. However, it is on sale. I can’t tell if that sale is just through tomorrow though.

http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306418059&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446768203&R=631333854956&P_name=Teri+Jon+by+Rickie+Freeman&N=306418059+4294904370+4294904654+4294903235+4294903593+4294904794+4294901853+4294904102+4294904074+4294904092&bmUID=lgBzHfa


For D1's daytime wedding in NYC in late May, the original plan as I know it, is lighter colors.  Here are some I am considering:

<a href="http://www.sundancecatalog.com/product/floral+vine+trellis+dress.do?sortby=ourPicks&refType=">http://www.sundancecatalog.com/product/floral+vine+trellis+dress.do?sortby=ourPicks&refType=</a>
Might be first choice, but hard to say. 

<a href="http://www.sundancecatalog.com/product/benevolence+dress.do?sortby=ourPicks&refType=">http://www.sundancecatalog.com/product/benevolence+dress.do?sortby=ourPicks&refType=</a>
A bit unusual, but pretty. Sorta pricey for a daytime dress, but OK.

<a href="http://www.lordandtaylor.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/en/lord-and-taylor/brands/wa-mother-of-bride/lace-fit-and-flare-dress-0142-acz1224my--1">http://www.lordandtaylor.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/en/lord-and-taylor/brands/wa-mother-of-bride/lace-fit-and-flare-dress-0142-acz1224my--1</a>

<a href="http://www.sundancecatalog.com/product/zelda+dress.do?sortby=ourPicks&refType=">http://www.sundancecatalog.com/product/zelda+dress.do?sortby=ourPicks&refType=</a>
I am shying away from this one already because the reviews are that it ran small. 

<a href="http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/tadashi-shoji-lace-overlay-dress/3442383?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=SAND%2F+IVORY&resultback=2264">http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/tadashi-shoji-lace-overlay-dress/3442383?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=SAND%2F+IVORY&resultback=2264</a>
This is one of the dresses I was considering for D2's wedding in navy/nude, but getting for D1's wedding in Sand/Ivory (but wouldn't get it I ended up with the navy/nude version for D1's wedding!)

By the way, below is a dress I recently bought unrelated to my girls’ weddings, and it fits well. I suppose I could consider using it for D1’s wedding since it is a daytime wedding. I could consider wearing it to D2’s rehearsal dinner. Anyway, thought I would share it:

http://www.sundancecatalog.com/product/cherished+moments+dress.do?sortby=ourPicks&refType=
This is a 16 and fit great and so there is hope perhaps on the others.

INPUT WELCOMED!!

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Soozie, I would like to suggest a bra shopping trip first! :slight_smile: Get a bra that supports and minimizes the girls, then it will be much easier to try the dresses at home. Sometimes, a foundation makes or breaks a dress!

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BB…I recently bought several new bras. That is a helpful post though. Suffice it to say that I am large busted and so it is a given, even though a good fitting bra is important!

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Susan, what fun! Two weddings in one year! All the best to you and to M and S. My two favorites are the very first one and the last one that you bought recently. :slight_smile: Both are so pretty!

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Thanks, @alwaysamom for the good wishes and also your fashion sense!

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Then you are set to try your dresses! I really like the first one (not because it is first, lol). I think you can get away with flesh-colored bra straps under that mesh top. Alternatively, some bras come with transparent straps that can be swapped in. If you do choose to go this route, have someone take a few photos of you in that dress to see if the straps show at all.

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Wow–a lot of lovely dresses, tho quite a few above your $250 budget. It’s really hard to know how these dresses will look without actually trying a few on. I tend to shy away from lower necklines, as I think they can look pretty racy with larger busts and may be distracting and make me self conscious.

I would honor the bride’s wishes and NOT wear the color of the attendants, especially because she asked you not to and you have so many other lovely selections to choose among. I’d start buying and trying things on that I could ship back (preferably with free shipping both directions), to get an idea of what works and looks good now, while my size is in stock, as the wedding dates will be here sooner than later.

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@BunsenBurner…yeah, I really like that first dress for D2’s wedding and placed the order for it today. Just can’t tell if it will fit. Could end up to be a moot point! I do have bras in flesh color and I figure that would be fine in the front. My concern is in the back because it appears that more than the shoulder straps would appear in the mesh section of the back of the dress and that would not be great. I know about the transparent strap bras, though don’t own any of those currently. I’m OK with flesh straps, if it is only the shoulder straps that overlap the mesh. But don’t want to get too ahead of myself on that dress.

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@Himom thanks. Yeah, I would not get the wine colored dress if D did not want me to (note with these links has been sent to D2). I got rid of all the other burgundy and gold dresses I originally searched for but one. Everything else are in different colors, though I think would look nicely with any group shots too.

I am not opposed to lower necklines. I have plenty of V-necklines and wrap necklines and U-shaped neck line clothing. Actually, sometimes that type of look works well with a large bust and there is less pull across the front of the bust line. I’m not really self conscious in that way. (would not wear super low cut to a wedding of course)

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:slight_smile:

I know I already mentioned it many, many times, but Saks is running their FF sale with 30% off. Free shipping and free returns via FedEx!

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What bout NOT a dress? A skirt and top might be better in terms of getting the right fit for both. My bet is @BunsenBurner can find you something like this.

We went to a formal wedding a couple of years ago…MOB wore a gorgeous pair of black loose slacks, and a gorgeous top. She looked stunning. Another thought.

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I have also seen MOBs and MOGs wear 2-piece outfits that looked amazing and fit better than a 1-piece would have.

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BB…yeah, your mention of the Saks sale made me look at Saks today and that’s when I found the navy Teri Jon dress I linked to near the end of D2’s list. Do you know if that sale extends past tomorrow? So far, I only ordered the first dress. I need to order more and there will be a lot of returning, I’m sure. I also was going to try to get D2’s input but she is booked solid right now with some major things and I told her not a rush.

Anyone have any thought on these particular dresses on the list?

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I liked the dresses - I think it will be a matter of fit. If you like the dress, visit a seamstress and get the perfect fit.

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I do love pretty much all the dresses you selected and would have a hard time choosing until you try them on. I can’t really visualize otherwise and even on myself am sometimes surprised how differently things look ON vs on the model or hanger. We know most of the models are close to 6’ and ultra thin, neither of which Most of us are.

Make sure to wear the bra you plan to use when you try the dresses on, as that can definitely change the fit of the garment.

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@HIMom Just to clarify, $250 is not a firm budget. It would be nice to find dresses within that range, but I care about finding the right dresses for me, but can’t go crazy on the price either. I also have to pay for the weddings! I figure the dress for the evening will cost more than the one for the daytime wedding. There is a good chance that whatever shoes I were to buy for either wedding would be worn again too.

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The sale ends on the 25th, so you have a few more days! :slight_smile:

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Thanks, @BunsenBurner for clarification on the Saks sale in case I decide to order that one dress I found there.

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Thanks everyone so far!!

@thumper1 and @HImom …I am not into the dressy pant outfit thing. For one thing, I like dresses and wear them often. I don’t think my kid would be into the pant thing for me either for this occasion, even if a dressy outfit. I do wear skirts often too. I’m not opposed to separates. I have plenty of dresses that fit and so it is not like I can’t find dresses. Many are XL and some are 16 and some are 18. The selection for the occasion dresses is wider in the size 16 range, however.

PS…D2 will be finalizing her bridal dress selection very soon but I am almost positive what she is choosing (and I attended the original bridal shop session with her in NYC) and actually, her bridal gown is separates!! You can’t really tell when it’s on. She is not into the traditional bride stuff. She also has detested white clothing her entire life (her bridal separates are in ivory).