Dstark, my thought is a trip to smack balls at the batting cages. 
I’ve seen people who are within minutes of dying, ‘sitting’ up in a hospital bed - only because they are supported, but I wouldn’t say that person can sit on their own. There’s a big difference and I think you know it. Yea, I’ll argue for the mom on that one that the child cannot sit like you and I can sit. Had they put her in a plane seat and let go of her, she would have likely fallen over… but hey, she would have had a lap belt across her hips so I guess she meets the FAA requirements. If you’re willing to let your child do that, then good for you.
But we know that wasn’t the only option.
I want to again be a bit charitable to the mom–perhaps she really believes that the best and most comfortable way for this child to sit during takeoff and landing (and presumably through the whole flight) is to sit on a parent’s lap. It appears that the ultimate solution was a variation of this. It’s certainly debatable whether this really is the best way for this child to fly (I very much doubt if it is), but it appears that the airline had repeatedly allowed this before, including on the outward leg of this same trip. Now, coming back from a foreign vacation, they’re told that this is against the rules. Clearly, kicking them off the plane is problematic–they’re going to get a specially designed child seat in the Dominican Republic on short notice? They’re part of a large group travelling together. The motivation had to be strong to solve the problem somehow to avoid kicking anybody off the flight.
But none of that means that the FA who put her foot down was wrong. Just inconvenient.
By the way, I think the real genesis of this problem is the tolerance for any lap children at all. It just isn’t safe.
Oh dstark - so sorry. Good Luck. You and my husband seem a lot alike. He always advises to me figure out what I want out of the negotiation and the best way to get that result … forget about who’s right and wrong. I’m not very good about that myself.
No, it wasn’t the only option at all. The mom should have had the 11-year old or someone else move to the coach seat and had her daughter in a seat next to her either in coach or business class. I can’t imagine not having the seat next to my special needs child wherever that seat is located. And, I do think she wanted the child on her lap because the child always got to be on her lap before but that doesn’t make it okay. And, she’s getting older every day. At some point she needs a seat. Sorry.
I took a look at United’s website to see what seating is offered on its PUJ-EWR route. Two classes of service: economy & business.
But I notice the trip is only 4 hours long; there are 2 flights a day each way; and none are red-eyes. One itinerary uses a B757 and the other uses a B737-- narrow body planes. 20 bz seats on the B737 and 24 bz seats on the B757.
I don’t know any airline that puts layflat beds on narrow bodies. And it’s hard to justify the space & inve$tment in layflat beds on flights of that short a duration that also are not red-eyes.
“Also putting my bags overhead. I can’t do that anymore and have to just wait around looking helpless till someone offers. And hope no one starts fussing at me for holding things up”
I hope nobody ever fusses at you for holding things up, or glares at you. If they see you are having a problem and need help, they should assist you, not complain. It surely makes things go faster when everyone helps each other out, but many people just get that blank stare and don’t notice a thing. Probably just getting mentally ready for hours of torture in a cramped seat.
I have found that getting my mind in the right place can help a lot. Someone kicking the back of my seat? Ah, it’s a free back massage. A screaming baby? Man, I’m glad my kids are older, at least I eventually get away from it. Cramped middle seat in the back, with the person in front of me reclining and the person beside me farting and taking his smelly shoes off? I’m in a POW camp being tortured, but I will make it out alive.
marie, if the blog I read was correct, there WAS a seat for the girl in the premium cabin next to a parent - I feel like I’ve now said this a bunch of times. They just didn’t intend to use it. The 6 of them (parents + 4 children) were sitting together, as other family members had taken the coach so that this family could be in premium.
And hey, if I were a relative and my SIL/BIL and their family had a special-needs kid, I sure as heck would say - you guys go ahead and have the premium seats, we’re fine back here.
I thought that people were saying the public was largely sympathetic to the family and against the airline, but now people are saying the opposite? I haven’t read the articles or watched the TV shows.
Thanks for checking gmtplus7. Figured those seats were for the long flights across the pond. Didn’t know how long their flight was. Interesting it was only 4 hrs. I’d have guessed more.
Deborah T, Well… Maybe after I get back from my trip to the city where I am going to get documentation.
"I thought that people were saying the public was largely sympathetic to the family and against the airline, but now people are saying the opposite? I haven’t read the articles or watched the TV shows.
Well, it probably depends on what you read and watch but my sense is definitely after the first round of stories people started to raise the questions popping up on this thread. United initially offered a FA defense followed by a PR phone call apology to make it all go away. And, the family accepted it since they really didn’t want anything else and were starting to encounter significant unexpected blowback.
I used to think 7 hr flights across the Pond were “long”, until I started doing 16 hr flights across the Pacific…
16 hr flights are worth scamming an upgrade. 4 hr flights not.
In my old age, I’ve gotten to the point that if the flight is longer than 7 hours, I won’t take it without either using miles to upgrade or paying for it if I have to. My back/neck problems just make it miserable to fly coach for that long of a trip.
The DR is not far…it’s the eastern side of the island of Hispaniola (the western side is Haiti), between Cuba and Puerto Rico.
For long flights in cattle class, I pop 3 ibuprofen pills before I take off.
FWIW, i checked on United’s r/t airfare for EWR-PUJ.
In mid-May: $551 economy, $1046 bz.
And, to be clear here I don’t think this had anything to do with money. Instead, it’s about an entitled woman who didn’t think the rules should apply to her and didn’t appreciate the flight attendant telling her they did and then it became a power struggle between the two of them. I mean, she actually tweeted about wanting the FA fired so this is not exactly a secret, either. And, it doesn’t have a thing to do with what’s best for the child.
Since we’re already derailed, I’m interested in reactions to the opposite end – (GMT and BD in particular). This is a travel blogger, who often blogs for / about United, who took a picture aboard while settling into a premium cabin, was asked by the FA not to do so, complied politely, went to nicely explain he was a travel blogger and meant no harm, and was promptly kicked off. This, to me, seems like a FA on more of a power trip.
http://upgrd.com/matthew/thrown-off-a-united-airlines-flight-for-taking-pictures.html
It’s of note that other passengers aboard the flight came forth and backed up his story, saying that he stopped immediately, was polite, non-confrontational, etc.
the writer used a four-letter word (“terrorist”) about which Matt should have known better (as a frequent traveler/writer). I’d bet the pic excuse was just that, an excuse, so they FA didn’t have to explain her uncomfortableness with the writer. No different than making “jokes” about bombs to TSA. Just stupid.
(Not suggesting he should have been kicked off the plane, but still, he should’ve known that such comments are taken seriously.)