Moms of twins

<p>I have twin girls that are as different as night and day. One has received LOA from AFA (didn't apply to any of the others) and wants to eventually become a fighter pilot. The other is going to Howard Payne University and attend their "Freedom Academy" (a political science honors program) and eventually become a political speech writer. They had no desire at all to attend a college together. I am fine with that, it is their choice and their future. I am happy for both but am a little worried about how they will handle being separated completely for the first time. What have been your experiences?
Some of you might have seen this on the Service Academy parents forum as well. Just wanted to know what other parents have experienced.</p>

<p>I have twin boys and they also are very different in many ways. They refused to look at going to the same University and explored their own options.</p>

<p>They are freshmen this year and I think they are enjoying being away from each other and not constantly being compared with each other. It gave them a real chance to establish themselves as a person and not just a twin. Part of that is growing up in a smaller area I am sure but they needed some time apart. They do admit to texting each other every now and then though ;)</p>

<p>One is at USC and one at Oregon State.</p>

<p>hello, I have a twin sister, we are both 19 years old.
This is our second year going to separate schools. My sister and I were close but not so close that we couldnt bear being away from eachother. I guess we just wanted a little space and go on on our own without having people compare us all the time. It really depends on how close the twins are and if they have ever been apart for a long time. In our case we sometimes didnt even look like twins because of how different we are.</p>

<p>not much help, just another twin mom. I share your concerns for my ID girls who are Juniors this year. They are the best of friends and are both fairly quiet by nature though one girl is more gregarious than her sister. I wonder about the more quiet of the two being able to easily make friends but on the other hand I think she will probably be just fine especially if she goes to one of the LACs she's looking at where they bend over backwards to help the frosh acclimate and meet eachother. I think your girls have had the chance to get used to the idea of separating over the course of the college search/application process and, though it will be proably harder than they think, it will probably be just fine. </p>

<p>Congrats btw on your exceptional children!</p>

<p>My identical girls are apart with a vengence, despite being best of friends. One signed up for a Rotary abroad year as a HS junior, just because she had an itch to go. The quiet one, left behind, developed her own social network, and because she finally had no one to speak for her, became far more outgoing in that junior year here in the States. Her life was going so well that she had a rough time with the idea of her sister returning for Senior year. Which made for a harder year for the returning exchanger, though it settled out well, with good growth for both in the end. </p>

<p>Now this year, the traveler is off on another exchange, and the previous 'quiet one' was just telling me about starting tour guide training for her LAC. Never know what that separation will bring. When the exchanger returns, she'll go to a LAC on the West coast. So they'll graduate different years, have college exchanges separate years, and go to school half a continent apart. </p>

<p>The settling out of these very separate lives has amazed me, as they've always been best of friends, aside from that brief period of readjustment after the first exchange. Nothing is as much fun as the banter and creativity when they're both home together. </p>

<p>In the end, I applaud your Ds strengths and what sounds a strong vision for the future. I bet you'll find only growth from this experience for both, though that freshman transition might be more about each other than home and parents.</p>

<p>Adult identical twin here. Very close to my sis all our growing up years. Went to separate colleges because we had very different interests academically. In the beginning it was weird but liberating. For the first time, I was around people who didn't know I was a twin. Who didn't automatically think oh "XXX, she and YY are twins."<br>
We now live on separate ends of the country. Talk almost daily but definitely lead very different lives.
I tend to lean heavily toward twins going to separate colleges.
One funny story: a fairly famous set of twins went to college with me. Shared a freshmen room, then adjoining single suites. Wore similar clothes, had a car with one set of initials on one door, the other on the other door. I thought they were freaks. Too much. Being a twin is NOT the only defining thing in an adult, independent life.</p>

<p>Thanks for all the encouragement. In the long run I think my girls will do much better than I. They are my only children and they will both be leaving very early in the summer, one to Air Force Academy Basic training, the other to Slovenia for an internship. The "nest" will empty as quickly as it was filled.<br>
My girls have always been independent, with their own ideas and social circles. They have always looked for ways to define themselves as individuals and not as "twins". Really, they don't even look alike. One has dark brown hair, brown eyes, the other has very blonde hair with blue eyes and is about 3 inches taller than her sister, so they haven't had much trouble with the twin thing.
Again, thanks for all the support.</p>

<p>I am not a mom, but I figured I would post here anyway. My wife and I have two sets of twins, both fraternal. Our older set are seniors this year, and they are planning on attending different colleges. One is looking at the University of Chicago and one is looking at Carleton College in MN.</p>

<p>For the most part, our girls do their own thing. They are close, but they are each involved in different extracurricular activities and they each have different interests. They each have two best friends: the other twin, and a different girl. They look strikingly alike, even though they are fraternal, so people always know that they are twins. It doesn't bother them too badly, though.</p>

<p>We are also somewhat worried about them being apart for the first time. Even though they participate in different activities and sports, they still go to the same school and live in the same house. So, being at two different schools in two different states would be quite a change for them. I am sure that they will handle it fine, though. Like maggie said in an earlier post, they are close, but not so close that they cannot be apart from each other.</p>

<p>Welcome, we like dads posting around here! Your Ds sound healthily different. One reason mine needed distance, is because they are so alike in all interests and aptitudes, that they naturally end up in the same place, doing the same things.</p>

<p>Another mom of twins (seniors) here--fraternal girls, quite different, but very very close. They spent a month apart this summer and missed each other a lot but also had a great time being apart I think.<br>
We twin parents should somehow keep connecting during the year as things evolve! Mine are looking for the most part at different colleges although there are a couple of overlaps too. I think it would be good for them to be apart--in a funny way it might make them closer to each other! I have 3 graduating this year: S from college, Ds from high school. I'm already feeling the empty nest sadness just thinking about it. (My cure is just looking at the messy bedrooms :) ).</p>

<p>I don't mean to go off topic, but it seems like the original question has been answered. I watched a program the other night about identical quadruplets. Maybe you guys have seen it; the show was on the Discovery Health Channel, and the quadruplets are strawberry blonde girls. As I was watching, I thought it was odd how the parents used birth order to refer to the girls. For example, the parents talked about how one girl was a leader because she was the "firstborn" - the first one pulled out by C-section. Another girl was the last one to be born and the parents said she was more of a quiet follower.</p>

<p>My wife and I never took the birth order of our twins into consideration. Our older twins recently watched the video of their birth, and I believe that is the first time they even knew who came out first. It just never mattered to us. Do you guys use terms like "oldest" and "youngest" to classify your twins?</p>

<p>Also, the issue of dressing identically can be pretty controversial among parents of twins. What did you do with your twins? We had some identical outfits that we put them in, especially when they were babies (they were so cute!). But when they reached school age, we let them dress themselves. They have always shared clothes, though.</p>

<p>Since my girls look so different, and have since birth, when I did dress them alike it was often different colors. They decided pretty early on that they did not want to dress alike, it didn't really matter to me. Now, at 17, their body shapes are different so they naturally choose different clothes.
My girls are 5 minutes apart, C-section, and they have always known their birth order. We, however, have never made a big deal about it. The girls sometime use it when it makes life easier for them, such as "Make her go first she's the oldest." That is always done in good humor.<br>
Our biggest problem is with other people making comparisons or jumping to conclusions because of birth order.<br>
My girls share a bedroom and I think that it may be several years before that room will be completely clean!</p>

<p>lol ^^ I know what you mean about the bedroom. To answer your post dad, our girls get asked "which one is older" all the time. We have never made a big deal of it but like txtwinmom our girls will play the birth order card in a joking way. Our quiet one is the first-born but she does have some qualities that first born children are alleged to have: She is compliant, wants to please adults, is the better student grade wise than her sister...though they are close academically. The second one is our prankster. She loves to get us laughing. I don't think it has anything to do with birthorder really, it's just who they came out being.</p>

<p>That question about birth order bothered me, when it first came up, with strangers in public, repeatedly. They had always been treated as equals and I wanted that to continue. What does it matter? But I suppose it's a conversation piece. They have an older brother, who truly is the oldest.</p>

<p>I dressed my kids from garage sales, so no, rarely alike. When I did put the matching gift clothing on, found it impeded my efficiency, as I didn't know at a glance who was who. Efficiency was everything at that point in life, with three young kids. These days, they never dress alike, and even if just jeans and black Ts, I find it cute when happens by chance. They say 'ewwww...too twinlike, and change immediately.</p>

<p>My boy/girl twins had separated many times before during the summers and had no trouble separating for college. One is at a university and one is at an LAC. They are one minute apart and have always known this, but it's never been a factor. And no, they were never dressed alike!</p>

<p>Dadoftwelve: I have to to ask. Do you possibly have two sets of twins and eight others?</p>

<p>did anyone see the cover of TIME all about birthorder</p>

<p>Don't know how I missed this thread all day! I have fraternal boys who are sophs in high school. They are one minute apart and the older one acts like the big brother. Far more responsible and is depended on by "younger" brother. Their personalities are quite different and I am sure that they will wind up in different college atmospheres. I also have twin brothers, who couldn't be any more unalike if they worked at it night and day. My mother often dressed them alike when they were young. I guess they looked "cute" like that. We never dressed our twins alike and now, if they accidentally end up wearing the same color shirt, not even the same style, they will argue who got dressed first and who "must" change!</p>

<p>One minute apart seems to be a common theme. Mine too :)</p>

Dadoftwelve: I have to to ask. Do you possibly have two sets of twins and eight others?


<p>Yes, indeed. We have a 25 year old son, 24 daughter, 23 daughter, 22 son, 20 daughter, 19 daughter, 18 son, 17 daughter, and 17 daughter. That's our first set of twins. Then we have a 4 year old daughter, and 1 and a half year old twin daughters. Our 18 year old son left this fall to Reed College in Portland, so that leaves 5 children at home now.</p>

did anyone see the cover of TIME all about birthorder


<p>Yes, I read that article. It was pretty interesting. We see a little bit of that in our children. I don't think their birth order makes them significantly different, though. I thought it was funny that a characteristic of the oldest child was "Likelier to hold a professional position." I am sure that this is true in general, but our oldest child is currently a UPS driver. He was a philosophy major in college and had a hard time finding a job after graduation. We never had our children's IQs tested, but they all have comparable grades and SAT scores. Their order of birth doesn't seem to matter too much.</p>

<p>Hey Dad! Can I just way WOW!! I am so impressed. I'm sure we could learn a ton from you and your wife. Congrats! I was always sure I'd have at least 4. I have 3. 16y/o ID twin girls and a 12 y/o son. However I am not really very good at being pregnant or carrying babies to term so we stopped.</p>