<p>Back in Jan I started a thread titled “Wisdom needed regarding an underplayed athlete.” Back then my S was coming off a season in which he was benched for virtually the entire season on his JV team. He is a soph. At the time I was concerned about what his plans for next year would be. I didn’t want him to be strung along for another year because while for some just being on the team is enough for him this was a painful waste of time. At the end of the season he met with his coach who told him there would only be Fresh and Sophs on JV and that it was a longshot for him to make Varsity. He on his own made the decison to drop athletics from his schedule applying to and getting into one really nice elective program and also adding an AP class to his schedule. He seemed content with the decison and was moving on.( In our school kids have to qualify to take an athletics class and it is beyond rare for a kid who is not in athletics class to make a team.) Today the coach spoke with him and said he might qualify for the bottom end of Varsity but that he thought he would prefer to see son on JV where he could be an active player. He indicated that he recognizes S’s skill and sees the lack a physical development (kiddo is young in his grade) as his biggest drawback. Coach told him he thought he could be an asset to the Varsity team Senior year. BBall is S’s greatest passion and I would hate to see him strung along, I would also hate to see him drop either of these classes and then find himself living another season benched or not making any team. I would love to talk to coach to get a feeling about if he is serious about playing S or if he is just stringing him along. S of course wants me to stay out of it and wants bball back in his schedule. His choice will probably be to drop his AP class. In Texas this can have significant impact on college admissions due to the top 10% law. I know I can’t stop him from playing the sport he loves, he wouldn’t forgive me for that. One way or another I would like to know that coach really doesn’t expect a repeat of this past year and that he really does value having son on the team. But then S wants me to stay out of it. So once again, what’s a mom to do?</p>
<p>What we parents see is playing time, also called “contributions on game day.” We see the guys on the sidelines as having no value to the team. I think we are wrong. </p>
<p>What the coach – and the kids – see is contributions in practice and being part of the team as having a vital importance to the team.</p>
<p>It depends on the culture of the team. If the support staff (i.e. the reserves) feel valued and important to the success of the starting players – the reserves are having a good experience.</p>
<p>Remember, there is no “I” in TEAM.</p>
<p>I agree cnp55… Bench players (often called scrub teams in some sports) can be the most important part of the development of the team. Bench players often get little credit for the progress of the team and all the fans ever see is them sitting on the bench. The better the bench team, usually the more progress you see from the starting team because they get pushed harder each and every practice.</p>
<p>As one who can say “been there” I see no consolation in the idea that as a benched player, I helped those who were starters play better as Rjp suggests. And “contributions on game day.” is a delightful euphemism. I didn’t try out for a team so others could play better. I didn’t run and sweat and practice so others could play better. I wasn’t in my 2 sports because I wanted to turn pro. I wasn’t in it to get a scholarship. I was in it to enjoy the competition, and hoping to win on the court, field etc.
I see that I wasn’t as good as those who started- I knew it then and I know it now. I put in as much effort in practice, but I wasn’t as good. Then and now, I have a full understanding why others got much more playing time. But to understand it may not mean liking it. For me, it was a simple choice. When the fun I was enjoying was outweighed by the burden of training, and the disappointment of merely watching on game day, then I quit. There were no coaches’ speeches that said we won because I had pushed the real players to do better. Though I didn’t join for the glory of helping the real players win, such a speech might have helped take the sting out of not playing. I never saw a benchwarmer win MVP. But I didn’t join for personal glory at all. I joined for the fun in competition of the game. There is no “I” in team. There is no “we” either. There was no “me” in our wins. I know all the cliches, too. If I was going to drop out, and a coach came to me asking me to reconsider, and telling me I was important to him and to the team, I’d look for proof of his opinion. My playing time would be my biggest evidence. Others could sit the bench as well as I could, and others could be sparring partners. If I was being told I was truly so valuable, I would have playing time to back up the statement.</p>
<p>My advice on what to do for your son. Tell him what facts you may know, tell him your concerns, let him decide what he is looking for, let him make the choice, then parent butt out.</p>
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<p>That can be a really powerful life lesson. The primarily value of sports in the educational setting is their value as metaphors. And the kind of dynamics that we face in trying out for the team, riding the bench, and getting as much as we can from the playing time we get, repeat themselves over and over throughout our lives. I think that the experience of living out the metaphor is great preparation for adult life. (And I say that as the father of a young-in-the-grade sophomore playing part-time on the JV soccer team.)</p>
<p>My oldest took sophomore year off from a sport (tennis team) for many of the same reasons expressed above. He felt he wasn’t contributing, he felt he wasn’t getting enough playing time, he has other equal interests, there were better players etc. Summer before junior year, the varsity coach talked him into coming back and and playing one year with the JV squad as a junior and then Varsity as a senior. He took the bait and did enjoy his junior year experience as a “senior” member of the JV squad, he liked the JV coach and did enjoy playing senior year. I never once got involved, questioned his decisions etc. I think this (high school sports) is very much up to the kids. And moreso if they are middle of the pack or bench kids. He stills plays intramural in college, still plays for “fun” and for that particular kid and sport that is the best possible outcome.</p>
<p>JV is supposed to be development-oriented. That means EVERYONE. A coach who benches a JV player for virtually the entire year is not developing that player. </p>
<p>This is school. Should the English teachers never call on the less-good students because the best students have better insights? </p>
<p>While one can make a case for less playing time for less expert players at the varsity level, there is simply no excuse for shutting a kid out at the JV level. The coach should have given your son playing time, no matter what. That is what JV is for.</p>
<p>This is one reason why I infinitely prefer sports like cross-country and track, where everyone gets to go out there and do their best. Yes, sometimes kids are not selected for the relays, but they still get a shot in the heats and no adult gets to pick and choose who can compete.</p>
<p>I would not encourage him to be exploited by this non-educator for another year. On the other hand, it does have to be his decision, so I agree with younghoss’s suggested course of action.</p>
<p>Sounds very similar to D’s HS experience where she played volleyball. Started out on the frosh team first year and went to JV sophomore year during which she did get quite a bit of playing time due to the fact that it WAS development-oriented and because most of the better players went straight to varsity.</p>
<p>The following year, many of her JV teammates (also juniors) were placed on the varsity, but D was placed on JV where she was elected captain. Asked if she’d prefer varsity or JV were she given the choice, she said she’d rather be on JV where she had a leadership role rather than varsity where she’d be low on the totem pole. Senior year she played varsity where she was the designated server. The extra year in JV definitely contributed her much improved performance. No, she didn’t get a lot of playing time, but when she did, she knew she was contributing to the team.</p>
<p>Given that your S has asked you not to interfere regarding the coach, you could speak with some of the other parents whose kids might be a in similar position and ask their advice. If the coach didn’t value having your S on the team, he would have cut him by now.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>I agree with younghoss’ strategy, but I would include a few more points when you talk to your son.
1- His future is not in basketball, but it may well be in the area of his advanced/AP classes. Getting ready for college is like developing as a player in sports. What will give him the edge?
2 - This coach has shown a disregard for “fair” playing time in the past. Why does he think the coach will change next year?
3 - If the other players are bigger and stronger than your son, this is not going to change much - he has too much ground to catch up. If he does get more playing time, does he understand that being battered and possibly injured is part of the deal?
4 - Since bball does have a very long season, and it affects both semesters of school, let him know that you expect him to do it on top of the school commitments he has already made. No excuses.</p>
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<p>Exactly. Great post! </p>
<p>This is JUNIOR varsity and some coach is using your son while giving all the opportunities to develop the kids most likely to contribute at the varsity level. Shame on him and shame on the community that allows that crap to continue. My guess is the coach may not be an awful guy but stuck in a situation where winning at EVERY level is what the parents want to see. That’s just sad. As Consolation mentions, Freshman and JV squads are developmental levels. And some kids fizzle out (for one reason or another) and some kids shine more brighter over time than you might think. </p>
<p>The heck with this ‘there is no I in team’ nonsense. This isn’t baseball as a living, this is the development and happiness of some young man that matters. </p>
<p>O.P.</p>
<p>The only thing that doesn’t make sense is what your JV coach has to do with playing time next year. Is this coach moving up to coach Varsity?</p>
<p>FYI, it’s the top 8% for UT next year.</p>
<p>Also, do you think ds will continue to grow, or has he topped out?</p>
<p>I would hate to see this develop into an “high school academics is better than sports” or “all kids are equal” type of thread. I think the OP needs to listen to her son. Her son may feel that participating in the sport “feeds” something in him separate from another AP class etc. I don’t know what “Texas rules” are in play but I cannot believe that playing high schools sports in Texas is detrimental to the college acceptances but perhaps I am wrong. I do know that some kids need the friendships and the exercise that sports gives them and where they are on the pecking order is less important OR they begin to see that there is pecking order and they accept where they fall and if playing JV one additional year gives them an opportunity to be the leader for a change perhaps that has importance to the individual kid. Again, kids develop differently, I had a 6’4" 210 pound freshman boy…I also had one that didn’t reach “man size” until early junior year and topped out shy of 6 ft. So yes, physical development has a place in this. Unless you have a child that is being “eyed” for college level play I see no reason for parental intervention. If you do have a child being “eyeballed” then there is absolutely reason for involvement. I happen to have both kinds and I approach those kids and their particular sports involvement on entirely different levels. If the OPs son agrees to play and feels he is being jerked around he’ll probably quit again. If he plays and plays much as a leader on the JV squad it could be a valuable experience in the long run. Coaches don’t generally go seeking out kids that have quit unless they want them for some reason. The coach isn’t going to “promise” a parent anything more than what they “promise” the kid in my opinion. The only time I’ve gone toe to toe with a coach is to make him promise to take my son “out” of the game when they play an inexperienced team so he doesn’t get hurt again (took a helmet to the side of his knee from a very inexperienced freshman opposing team player causing hospitalization, surgery and alot of rehab). My husband wanted to take ME “out” after that confrontation. I’d never go to a coach and try to elicit a promise as to playing time.</p>
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<p>No, that is what the rec league is for. JV sports are there to get you ready for varsity. I got news for you… if you play 10 so-so players and 5 better players and give them both equal time and now you have none ready for varsity.</p>
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<p>I probably averaged 4-6 minutes a game my senior year on the basketball team. I scored a total of 6 points in one and a half seasons on varsity. But I was chosen by my teammates at the end of my senior year for an award based on the way I played the game. I was the one diving on the floor after the basketball when we’re down by 20. The entire team is important even if they seldom see the floor.</p>
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<p>That must vary by school system. In ours, not all kids can make the track and cross country teams. There are tryouts and cuts just like the other sports. Our older one made it for both track and cross country, while the younger one tried out but did not have times that made the cut (along with many, many others). The freshman football team is probably the easiest high school team to make, but some players may only get a token minute or two in the games. Development for football is assumed to happen at the rec league level pre-high school, although plenty of kids can also successfully pick up that sport late if they have size and/or speed.</p>
<p>With that said, there are places to play at every ability level in virtually every sport through the rec league teams. For example, we have A and B rec league basketball teams through age 19. Kids in the B league will be guaranteed at least one full quarter of playing time and most coaches try to play the kids pretty evenly. Kids in the A league (even though it’s rec) may rarely get on the court in a game, if they aren’t the starters. Kids playing freshman, JV, or varsity basketball for the school may not get any court time in a game. A kid who values guaranteed game time plays B league rec (and plenty of very good players play that level for just that reason). </p>
<p>If your S loves BBall and his goal is to play, has he looked into his rec league options?</p>
<p>“JV is supposed to be development-oriented. That means EVERYONE. A coach who benches a JV player for virtually the entire year is not developing that player.”</p>
<p>Couldn’t disagree more. JV or not, its still competitive high school sports, not the local rec league.</p>
<p>S played varsity football for two years in hs. He never started - even in his senior year. This bothered me a lot. When I mentioned this to my son, he said that his job was to work with the starters in his position to become stronger. He was definitely a team player, but only the starters get the recognition, never the players who work just as hard and don’t get the playing time. I am very proud of his attitude.</p>
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<p>I didn’t say EQUAL time. I said “time.” As in enough time to give the kid some reasonable competitive experience. Don’t tell me that there aren’t times when good coaches send in the B team players to rest a star for the final quarter or for potential overtime, or when the team has a commanding lead. I’ve attended plenty of varsity games where this is done, much less JV games.</p>
<p>Playing is not what gets people ready for varsity in any event. Working in the gym is how a player develops.</p>
<p>I feel for you. We all feel our kids pain much more acutely than they sometimes do. Your S knows the score, he may not get playing time. Knowing that, if he still wants to play, let him. </p>
<p>My S made the freshman bball team at his school, didn’t make the soph or JV team in his soph and jr years (actually the jrs aren’t allowed to try out for JV and must make varsity or they don’t play). Right now he plays AAU and is training to get faster and better. Will he improve his skills enough to make the varsity team as a sr.? I don’t know, but he is trying. </p>
<p>Perhaps there is a club or AAU team in your area your S could try out for (may be too late this year) or a summer camp he can attend to try and improve his skills. You mentioned your S is young and may need more time to grow, but specialized training may give him the skills he needs to overcome those disadvantages. I’ll bet there are sites online that might give training info. </p>
<p>Good luck to your S and don’t you fret over his lack of playing time, in 10 years it won’t mean anything.</p>
<p>Agree with the others also that “all kids play” is rec league or sometimes club sports and often middle school, but high school sports are competitive and there is a pecking order and kids understand that but sometimes parents have a harder time with it. My two oldest were mediocre on a good day and got cut in a sport or two so I was shocked when three came along because heI guess he’s pretty good. I’m no more or no less proud of any of them, actually I don’t have the time or the inclination to go to all of my third’s games and neither does my husband and son’s OK with that, too. I’m totally a bad sports parent, not even a member of the “boosters” but I do “get” what it’s all about.</p>
<p>Good luck to your son and do let him make this decision on his own. He’ll know what he wants to do.</p>