<p>I’m trying not to get sucked in either, but, can’t help it - first, I wonder if it might be o.k. to ask a moderator to amend the title of the thread…I find it to be very incendiary, especially since that is not what really happened…I wonder if we can just have a slight adjustment so the thread title isn’t so horrible.</p>
<p>Second, OP, my daughter achieved the same or close GPA at a reasonably equivalent college - in two separate degrees and four minors - while simultaneously achieving at a year-round D-1 sport all four years, while also serving as president of the senate for athletics, the ACC rep for the college, AND working 10 -15 hours per week (and more hours over the summer) to pay for her gas, food, recreation, clothing, etc. She also went to summer session her last two summers, and worked two jobs while attending.</p>
<p>I’m not bragging about my daughter - rather trying to give you a basis for comparison. In my world this level of activity is NORMAL. In our household, when we want something, we WORK for it. There are always ways to find jobs. And when the family unit needs something or has some issue, we work together as a team to solve it.</p>
Nope, my parents don’t want to pick me up past midnight because they both work really early in the morning (usually) and oftentimes, their hours vary. I offered to walk home, but they’re very much against this (they bring up this story about a robbery near our home and the assailant still being on the loose).</p>
<p>Good luck to you Sanjenferrer, and cyber hugs (( )). I am thinking about you. It is a tough situation, and you have done well in many, many ways. Right now your mom is clearly at a breaking point, so you now have to take another tack, another approach. A prestigious education, classes, future law school is not worth the disintegration of a loved one, a family. Please think things out, and God bless.</p>
<p>Now that you have shared that you have Asperger’s syndrome, I’m more concerned that it might be harder for you to tell when your mom is about to “snap”, and harder to tell when she is in a frame of mind that makes you unsafe at home. Even though a lot of the advice you are getting here on ways to be more independent is really helpful, and you feel a need to respond to every single criticism, move away from the computer for a few minutes and get in touch with someone trained to help you assess if you are safe in your home environment right now and who can put you in touch with counseling. I’m concerned that you are so absorbed with all the details about student loans and drivers licenses and transportation and jobs that you might not be looking at the big issue of personal safety. Just for right now, make personal safety your number one issue and talk with an expert who can give you advice.</p>
<p>I hope I’m right in assuming that your mom went for the knife because of the argument. If you steer clear of her and don’t provoke her, maybe you won’t argue again, and she’ll keep her hands out of the drawer. Maybe you can finish out the summer at home without conflict? I hope so.</p>
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<p>Well, it’s hard here. Most low paying jobs are filled with newcomers to this country who are happy to work for little and are willing to work year round; summer teen jobs are scarce. You could knock on doors all day in some neighborhoods, and the strapped occupants would not be able to hire you. This very much depends on location, and making blanket statements on how easy it is to get a summer job displays a lack of awareness of this.</p>
<p>Now I can better understand the situation. Your behavior does correlate with having Asperger’s syndrome . My friends son who also Asperger’s syndrome is working in a nursing home (he’s 17 years old by the way and found a job). Your lack of good judgment is most likely attributed to your disability. Do you go for counseling? Often times the high academic ability of those will Asperger’s is offset by poor social skills and the lack of ability to understand social cues. Perhaps the people that you spoke to regarding employment noticed this disability and felt that you were not a good fit for working with customers. You may want to rethink your goals and find a good “fit” for employment in the future. I better understand your “misinterpretation of reality” now. I don’t know if being a corporate lawyer is a realistic goal for you. Academically yes, but professionally–I don’t know.</p>
<p>I don’t have much good practical advice beyond what was posted already. I sympathize with your situation. Too bad your mom do not see taking out a loan as an investment in the future. But she must be out of her mind with worry about your family’s finances. </p>
<p>I agree with getting a drivers license may not be feasible for you. I don’t know how insurance will not go up with an additional young driver. When we put our children on our insurance when they first got theirs, our bill went up about about $700, cheaper for the girl, and that was in North Shore, where NU is. Currently we are paying an additional $1300 for them.</p>
<p>I think your parents are hampering/restricting your job choices somewhat. Is your neighbor really that unsafe ? Do you have the symptoms of Aspies as in not reading social cues so they are worried about you not being aware of your environment ? What would make your mom happy with you ?</p>
<p>After reading the latest posts, I highly recommend the OP seeks a counselor who specializes in this disorder. I have never met a person with Aspergers’ Syndrome, but I can understand now why your mother behaved the way she did. The OP is intellectually gifted and loves learning, but lacks social skills and good judgment. I believe the mother reacted to her son’s lack of empathy for the current financial situation in the family. The OP should definitely take some of the advice that has been generously stated on this thread: Focus on the present reality, find a job to help the family, learn how to drive, and seek counseling to control his symptoms.</p>
<p>I didn’t mean to sound harsh when I said the OP should get his drivers’ license. He doesn’t have to do it this summer, but it should definitely be high on the priority list. Yes, insurance is a financial issue. And it will continue to be costly as long as the driver is under 25 years of age. I was stating the reality that most jobs now are not located within the neighborhood, and he will need to learn if he wants to widen his job search geographically.</p>