I know Mother’s Day isn’t until next Sunday, but I thought I’d start a thread where we can share how/if you are celebrating, how you feel about the holiday, how it is different from when your children were young, family traditions you might have, etc. Just a general catch all thread.
Our ds and his dog are coming in to town this weekend. Ds is coming in for a wedding of a friend. Will be the first visit with his adopted dog that he got in early February (though we met her when we went to visit him in late February). Here she is!
As such, we are celebrating Mother’s Day a week early. I’ve invited my mil and her new husband Bob over for Sunday brunch. I know ds wants his grandmother to meet the dog, but I don’t think he should take her over to their house at the CCRC. Mil is not really a fan of dogs anyway, but of course ds wants to show her off. I’m not super excited about having them over, but this seemed like the most workable solution. And, I won’t have to share the holiday with mil on the actual day.
As I have mentioned several times before, my own mother died when I was 24, so it’s never been my favorite holiday. A former church we attended had a tradition where the choir sold rose corsages as a fundraiser for moms to wear on Mother’s Day. You wore red if your mother was living, and white if your mother was deceased. I always hated being the youngest woman wearing a white corsage. I quit attending church on Mother’s Day for a while because of it. However, once ds was born I did return as I didn’t want him to miss out on doing the Mother’s Day things the kids did in Sunday School.
Our local kid and husband work in the medical field, and often we celebrate holidays on different days. I have an out of town commitment next Friday and Saturday. So…we shall see what is up!
I don’t plan Mother’s Day at all. If there is going to be anything special…other family members need to do the planning.
I celebrated an early Mother’s Day when I was visiting my daughter in NC. We did a pottery project together and she will be sending up the finished piece for mother’s day and we have a FT call planned. I told H that I want to do no cooking but also do not want to go out so he needs to plan ahead.
Mother’s Day always feels like a bit of a let down to me - my mom and H’s mom are gone, D lives in another state, and H doesn’t really ever make much of an effort. It was nice this year to celebrate with my daughter early and in person.
I am not a big fan of mother’s or father’s day. When I was a kid, it was fine. I was happy to celebrate my parents and grandparents on those days.
When I grew up and had my own child, my parents still considered it their day - even though we too were now parents. That generation is now gone.
My daughter will celebrate with us, but not typically on the actual day (we are very flexible about holidays and rarely celebrate on the actual birthday or holiday). I am looking forward to a lovely museum outing with my daughter this weekend.
Mother’s Day has always been a big disappointment to me. Late H made little effort and my kids took the cue. I did initiate an activity with D next week- we are going to a Mother Daughter Cocktail making class -but I planned and paid for it.
I am as low of an expectation person of attention as can be, lol. Don’t like bday celebrations for myself and have no expectations or desires for a day to be planned around me for Mothers Day. It’s what I prefer.
Of course when the kids were young they wanted to do things. I asked for a day of being able to work out in my garden without general interruptions and then later in the afternoon a family drive/park visit/ ice cream and take home dinner. My idea of a great day ANY time of year!
Now 2 of 3 are out of town. I just like to hear a quick message from them. My S/DIL in town may stop by. But by preference, no formal plans. I’m so happy and proud to be a mom but am not a good celebrator of many what can be referred to as Hallmark holidays.
You all make me feel less bad I rarely plan and my wife’s favorite meal is breakfast and we’ll likely hit a breakfast or lunch - without reservation but she doesn’t like the fancy, over the top things anyway - just our no reservation local place. But perhaps i’ll find somewhere new to try. And get her a caramel apple from Kilwins - that’s her thing - not flowers.
My freshman year in college, I saw an ad in the subway to wish your mother a Happy MD by donating to the Women’s Lunch Place. I have done that now every year for 36 years, though my mother passed away ten years ago (I now wish my MIL, DIL, DIL’s mom, etc.)
I didn’t even realize that this year we will be in NYC with S on Mother’s Day until S asked me what we should do. I said anything but going out to crowded, overpriced places. Maybe he’ll cook or we will do something simple.
Not my favorite holiday, either. No one in my immediate household has ever made much of a big deal about it, and for years I vacillated between wanting a fuss and not wanting one. Mostly I just focus on celebrating my mother, while she is still here. Not sure what the plan is this year (my dad may or may not be recovering from surgery on the holiday), but most likely I’ll host a lunch or dinner.
On Mother’s Day they always text or call, when they were home we would do yardwork (for Father’s Day we clean the garage). We have never done gifts or anything like that.
Now that they live far away, I think they feel like it’s a bigger deal than I do.
I mentioned that I got an aura frame not long ago and my daughter sent 87 pictures of the dog. I guess her husband told her she had to stop or I would have received more.
Mother’s Day has never been my favorite and it has never been about me; we bow down to my mother. Because we have lived in the same city with my parents, my in-laws, and siblings on both side, Mother’s Day was spent with both sides of the family every year; one for brunch/lunch, and one for dinner. While we would go out for the meals some years, other years would be at either my home or my SIL.
My mother ONLY wanted the dinner time slot as she didn’t like to get up and go to brunch. For years we told her I had another family, and it couldn’t always be what she wanted. I would tell my husband, I guess I won’t get a Mother’s Day for me until she was gone. Mom is now 95, and I still stress about the day!
MY husband always buys the hanging plants for our house for Mother’s Day. Which is fine… but we would be buying those anyway. Mother’s Day is good timing for that purchase around here.
My mother always got me a hanging basket of flowers for Mother’s Day. It was a fundraiser for the Arc. H usually took us out for brunch or grilled. It was a nice day. Mom’s been gone almost 3 years and I still miss her as she was always so appreciative of anything and everything we did for her. Definitely not the same.
My mom never wanted anything on Mother’s Day - considered it to be a waste of $$$ - so often I forget it’s a holiday.
H’s mom - H would get her small gifts and later gift cards. She passed away a couple of years ago.
Me - Any bday/father/mother’s day - we celebrate on Saturday by going out to eat. We eat out somewhere every Saturday (usually Applebee’s level or cheaper), but on a holiday, the person gets to pick where. Sunday is IMO a cruel day for Mother’s Day. That’s the day I have to clean up the whole house, grocery shop, laundry, etc. to get ready for the work week. The kids helped some when they were growing up, but the bulk was still mine… So Saturday it is…
Gifts - Honestly, I tell my kids the best gift to me is watching them grow up so well. Seeing them turn into thoughtful and caring people, marrying equally caring and loving people… And sending me pictures/texts of them living their lives to the fullest as they see fit. I’d rather they spent their $$$ on them vs me. That’s what makes me happy. That being said, they usually do send me something and a card with lovely notes written inside. I love those too.
Mother’s Day is kind of a “whatever” for me. When my kids were young, I ended up spending hours every MD morning working at church. The kids’ choir had a cantata every MD … and I always got stuck doing set up, getting the kids ready, managing the kids during the service, and waiting around until the other parents were done socializing after the service & finally decided to pick up their kids (always the most rambunctious ones, of course). It just kind of made me not care about MD for myself. We always celebrated with my family, which I enjoyed because everyone pitched in & it was fun. After my mom died, we stopped getting together with my brothers & their families.
Now D lives nearby with her family, and we get together with D & GD for a few hours on MD. It’s her day, too, so I am very cognizant of giving her some space to celebrate the way she wants with her little family. My S sometimes comes over & hangs, but sometimes he’s doing something else - and he knows I’m okay with that. At this point in my life, I’m just happy that my kids are happy.
My childhood best friend died last week, and I keep thinking about how she is no longer here with her kids and grandkids. All that matters to me is to be here for them. I don’t need to be honored, I don’t need flowers … I just need to be with them when I can, and to enjoy that time regardless of whether it’s MD or any other day.
I rarely plan and my wife’s favorite meal is breakfast and we’ll likely hit a breakfast or lunch - without reservation but she doesn’t like the fancy, over the top things anyway - just our no reservation local place. But perhaps i’ll find somewhere new to try. And get her a caramel apple from Kilwins - that’s her thing - not flowers.
