<p>I do something on all the “designated” days, but I do things on non designated days too… i don’t think you should do something nice only on those days. I’ll often come home with a shirt or a pair of shorts or something that I think my mom will like and i give them to her. She does the same thing for me. Right now I"m making a painting for my best friend, just because I feel like doing something nice.</p>
<p>As an example of what I was referring to with regard to my tendency to examine the motives/desires/spirit behind gift giving (rather than the gift itself), I offer this true example from my life:</p>
<p>After one particularly difficult year of our marriage, my husband gave me a rather unusual anniversary gift. Several weeks before our anniversary, this common internet piece had been circulating at his office. He sent it on to me:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>On our 16th anniversary, with all of our kids gathered around, he handed me a compact and carefully wrapped package…</p>
<p>Opening it, I was absolutely perplexed to find a small canister of wood putty. Looking several times from it to him and back to it, the memory of the story of “The Fence” suddenly popped into my mind. I completely lost it…and together, he and I cried and recommitted to treat each other with the kindness, grace, and dignity we had demonstrated for most of our marriage.</p>
<p>No, out of context, most wives would not be thrilled with an anniversary gift of wood putty. But for me? That was my favorite gift ever, and it still occupies a place of honor on our mantel right next to our “valuables.”</p>
<p>This unique gesture has also had an impact on our children…When my oldest D and her bf recently had their first real fight (after 18 months of being together!), I happened across a large container in her room that her bf had covered with paper and labeled “Wood Putty.” Only inside it was a TON of chocolate!<-----GOOD MAN! :)</p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>SJMom: “since I’m a mother, I’d like someone to make my morning tea”</p>
<p>I told you all my husband is wonderful… most mornings, he not only makes me a cup of tea and brings it to me in bed, he takes the dog out, too.</p>
<p>haha! I spent the night at a friends house last friday and I got up early and made everyone breakfast in bed. I took little trays to everyones beds and everything.</p>
<p>:)</p>
<p>NJers:
I own that pan and it is my absolute favorite! If you got the not-completely-nonstick one (I forgot the exact name - I think it is the “Calphalon One” from Williams Sonoma) don’t despair if stuff sticks to it a little because it’s supposed to! It makes the BEST reduced sauces and browns things perfectly - unlike the super nonstick Calphalons. I made great tenderloins a red wine sauce in it just last night for my son’s homecoming dinner.</p>
<p>
Then you’d LOVE it over here!!! 
~b.</p>
<p>we celebrate every little fake holiday at work. the other day we celebrated national coca cola day. we actually each have a calendar hanging at our desks (every month we get an events calendar) and it has the dates on it which we are celebrating that month… other days we’ve celebrated lately are pretzel day, cinco de mayo, stress awareness week (we had massage therapists come in and everyone got massages), and a ton of random other days. (I don’t have my calendar here with me.)</p>
<p>“Umm, if my husband gave me a Mother’s Day present, I’d be upset with him. I’m not his mother. OTOH, I expect him to remind the kids to call me.”</p>
<p>Hmmm. I’d feel badly if my husband didn’t get me something for MD. After all, I’m the mom of his kids. I give him something for Father’s Day to honor his being the father of our kids.</p>
<p>I’ve dropped a big hint to my husband that what I want this year is pampering at a spa. Usually, he gives me flowers and breakfast in bed, but I feel in the mood for something extra special particularly since he has to leave town MD morning.</p>
<p>
Hmmmmmmmmmm, sounds like a place <em>I’d</em> like to work! Only, I’d have to make sure that EVERY week is “stress awareness week”!!! ;)</p>
<p>berurah, what can I say… i love my job ;)</p>
<p>i’m taking a vacation from may 20-29… i’m REALLY looking forward to having some time off :)</p>
<p>
uhhhhhhhhhh, do you need a temp??? ;)…oh, and is it “stress awareness week” that week??? <em>lolololololololol</em> :D</p>
<p>I don’t think so, but I know we’re celebrating SOMETHING!</p>
<p>This coming monday we’re having ice cream sundae’s in celebration of May 15th!</p>
<p>Actually, I think this month is older americans month or something like that? I know we’re celebrating that. We’ve been doing word searches and cross word puzzles full of older americans trvia. LOL :)</p>
<p>I am always thrilled when my H remembers me on Mothers Day. It makes me feel that he appreciates my role as his kids’ mom. I send both my mom and his mom gifts for Mothers day, (Heck, his mom AND my OWN mom send me gifts on mother’s day cuz they say I’m a good mom. should I be insulted becuz they do that and I’m not THEIR mom?) </p>
<p>Haven’t we all been taught when receiving gifts…“It’s the thought that counts?”</p>
<p>I was thinking about the whole Mother’s Day thing, and that led to some thoughts about present-giving occasions in general. At this point, posters here seem to feel they should get a spousal present for Christmas, birthday, wedding anniversary, Valentine’s Day, and Mother’s Day. (It’s possible that some don’t celebrate Christmas, but based on previous observations, I’m including it.) That’s five times a year. That’s a lot of presents and a lot of money, especially since we’re all paying for college. </p>
<p>Just call me a cynic, I guess, but I kind of wonder how much of these holidays are about keeping the stores in business. Certainly I have all the stuff I need–more than I need, no doubt. (My favorite holiday is the Fourth of July, when we blow stuff up for fun. Now if my kids gave me a fireworks display for Mother’s Day, that’d be cool.)</p>
<p>nobody is twisting your arm saying you have to buy someone a present. if your family doesn’t do it, then your family doesn’t do it. no big deal. I don’t think it’s a problem to buy someone a ten dollar gift to show how much you care about them. Or to draw them a picture to show how much you care about them. Of course, I can afford to pay those things. Maybe other people can’t, and that’s fine for them.</p>
<p>perfume, did I say i want new perfume…</p>
<p>Fendergirl: a $10 gift is fine, you say. Okay, I can think of about ten people I’m close enough to that I would be “expected” to buy presents for them (in-laws, kids, husband, siblings). There’s a whole lot of commercial pressure and societal pressure to buy those presents. Even cheap presents would mean $500 a year–and all that time in stores. Yes, I write letters, I knit hats and scarves, I give tomatoes and herbs from my garden, print photos I took of them, etc. BUT I resent the idea that I have to do these things on set days because “it’s expected.” “It’s expected,” my ***, it’s expected only by a bunch of VERY good sales people.</p>
<p>Just call me Scrooge. (He probably learned it from his mom.)</p>
<p>Then don’t do them on that day. Nobody is forcing you to. I do acknowledge the days but i do things on other days too. I don’t think you should be nice to someone or do something out of the ordinary just because it’s a special day. One of my roommates, the only time she got a nice date with her boyfriend was on v-day. I told her that if he never took her out any other times then she probably shouldn’t be with him anymore. haha.</p>
<p>Sure, i acknowledge the days, but all of the things I do on those special days i do other times throughout the year as well. Like cooking breakfast for my friends the other day, or the painting i’m making for my best friend right now. Or the stuffed animal i bought my boyfriend last week. I don’t need an occasion to be nice or to do something for someone. But i do acknowledge that the special days are there. I didn’t get a gift from my boyfriend for v-day this year, and that’s not a problem. I didn’t get him anything either. But I did call him up and say happy v-day. I also picked up yo-yo’s for my friends the other day and I can’t wait to give them out this weekend when we hang out. I hand drew cards to go with them just saying that everyone is a great friend and i hope they enjoy their yo-yo. ( so my act of kindness of giving everyone a card and a yoyo cost me $1.05 per friend… plus a piece of paper and however much marker i used)</p>
<p>basically I think you should show that you care for everyone all the times, not just on the “holidays”… and it doesn’t matter if that is by drawing something someone, giving them a picture, buying them a gift, or just telling someone that they are awesome…</p>
<p>My friends do the same thing. Just the other day I got a nice drawing in the mail that a friend of mine made for me. Not for any occasion, just because he felt like making me a drawing. I have it hanging at my desk at work.</p>
<p>I understand the concern about the costs involved for several gift-giving occasions. It is not unusual in some families to buy things for people that are not necessarily “extras” but things that might need to get bought anyway – so in the long run, there really isn’t much “extra” costs involved.</p>
<p>Like in the case of citygirlsmom… She wants perfume (hopefully, she will get it). Either her family will get it for her or she will eventually have to buy it herself.</p>
<p>I’m probably a bit weird, but I’ve always given D a gift for mother’s day, on the basis that I view her as a gift and a treasure. But I like gifts all the time, constantly, and don’t really care what is the holiday, or even if there is one. I don’t like to spend a lot of money though - prefer off the wall stuff, creative things, silly toys, fresh, unusual flowers, gift certificates for dinners out but in weird amounts of money ($39.24 or something), or something that makes the recipient laugh really hard. </p>
<p>One of my favorites (you can only do it once per person though) is to buy a large card for a friend’s birthday, and take a few days to get it signed by complete, total strangers. It’s easy to do - you can collect nice notes from strangers with signatures in the lobbys of office buildings, at the dry cleaners, the gas station, the parking lot at the grocery store, etc. - usually, the people you ask to sign laugh really hard too. Even better if you can get nice wishes and signatures in lots of foreign languages. When the card is full, take it to the party and slip it in a stack with all the other cards. Watching the person’s face when they open it (usually, something that starts out with a big smile and then morphs into “- uh - who the h*** are these people???”) is simply over the top, priceless.</p>