<p>Seriously, some kids are just BORN clueless. Love each of my sons dearly, but S1 was void of the thoughtful/empathetic gene since day 1. S2, on the other hand, has always been more thoughtful of others than himself, and has ALWAYS remembered his mother on this day. Yesterday I got a call from a very sick S2 from college who, through his coughing and sniffling, was wishing ‘the best mom in the whole world a very special day’ and that he was so sorry he could not be home to spend the day with me because of finals. Then told me to check my email, where I found the sweetest e-card it made me cry. END FAIRY TALE.</p>
<p>30 MINUTES LATER: S1 calls…quickly says ‘happy mothers day’ then proceeds to whine about how he needs a haircut SOO bad and he is driving up home tomorrow and could I please make an appointment for him, to which I reply, why didn’t you just get one there at college and Monday will be hard to get an appointment. To which HE says, then can you just cut it? (since I used to when they were growing up) to which I said No, you need a REAL haircut as you have an interview this week and don’t want to look like your head got stuck in a blender, to which he continues to whine about WHY can’t I cut it please?! and I’m so broke can’t really afford a haircut so can I pay…" !!! What the h—!!! Are you kidding me?? Said GOTTA GO! and hung up! Thanks sweetie…lovely chatting Oh and ps: to make matters worse, H admitted to calling and reminding S2 to call me… Men!! :mad:</p>
<p>Put me on the ditto list. I won’t bore you with the details but one phoned, one sent a last minute video card, one let me take her out for a sandwich and shopping and then said Happy MD as she got out of the car at the end of the day. H is out of town and didn’t even mention it on the phone. A non event and yes, I know it’s just a Hallmark holiday but it still depresses me.</p>
<p>Son1 is in the process of moving and remembered to wish me Happy Mother’s Day. I’m happy with that. Son2, a HS senior, is at home. He remembered to wish me Happy Mother’s Day when he got up and then explained how he had planned a gift but what had gone awry with the plan. I told him that was fine, thanked him for thinking of it and told him the absolute best gift he could give me was to stay home and do homework as I’m worried he will get rescinded due to grades. Shortly thereafter he left the house to meet friends he HAD to help with math because they’re failing the class and are in danger of being rescinded. Around 6:30 p.m. (he’s been gone all this time) I got a call from him. His girlfriend got an award involving cash to pay for college app costs. He got this award last year and was thinking surely there was some cash left over from that he could spend. I explained there wasn’t and asked where he was, as I could hear background noise. He told me he was at a restaurant with his girlfriend. End of call. I cried. Guess I know my status as ATM machine and nothing more. He came home around 9 p.m.</p>
That’s actually my attitude. I’ve always considered it a day to show appreciation for one’s mother - not a W who happens to be a mother. I expect my kids to show their appreciation to their mother somehow - not me, so I don’t buy her a present or card, the kids do that. If the kids (now adults) want to head to a restaurant for dinner so she doesn’t have to cook I’ll foot the bill but it’s up to them to decide.</p>
<p>My W has the same attitude regarding father’s day as do I.</p>
<p>Yeah, both my D’s are away from home…
But really, with all that hype and advertising about “Mother’s Day” everywhere, do they think that they are the only ones on the entire earth who do NOT have a mother???!</p>
<p>Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day are such great holidays, aren’t they!</p>
<p>This year, one called, the other sent me a card with a special message, so I am not complaining. I won’t question if they were reminded by H. I am happy. Some years they have forgotten. I love them and worry about them and support them, no matter what, and that is what makes me happy!!!</p>
<p>Just wondering how kids forget or need prompts!!! The aliens!</p>
<p>Today I woke up early to answer the phone. All I could hear was SOBBING before D could even start talking.
… Here we go!</p>
<p>Technically speaking you are certainly right dad but it makes me really sad to know that you and my H think that way. It isn’t legally required that you recognize the mother of your children one day a year but it would be lovely if you did. There are a whole lot of things I do for my H and kids that aren’t in my official job description but I go the extra mile because I love them. It kind of breaks my heart that they can’t be bothered with a card.</p>
<p>I was told that if I didn’t tell them what I wanted then I would get nothing and it would be my own fault. I seem to have raised a family that cannot make a plan of any sort for any occasion. My friends will have to plan my funeral.</p>
<p>Since I didn’t tell them what to buy me or where to take me they bought nothing and took me nowhere. MY FAULT</p>
<p>Awww…I’m sorry. You are definitely not alone…and I can beat all of your stories. LOL!</p>
<p>We went to Cracker Barrel last year on Mother’s Day (or was it my birthday…not sure). Hubby and kids did not think to get me anything. So we’re sitting at the table a CB and hubby sends the kids to the store there with a $20. They come back a few minutes later with a bag with a necklace and some earrings (plus the receipt) and an UNSIGNED card that that grabbed off the rack. Handed me the bag and said, “Happy Mother’s Day”.</p>
<p>Both hubby and kids are notorious for completely ignoring me on my special days. A few weeks ago, though, I got mad at my hubby and kids who had done something fun without even thinking to include me. I rarely raise my voice but I was mad and said something like, “I’m not surprised…you never think of me anyways” (or something like that.)</p>
<p>Imagine my surprise this Mother’s Day - I received Shari’s Berries from hubby and a card/chocolate from the kids. It really isn’t about the gift…it’s about the thought.</p>
<p>Oh…and no one said Happy Birthday to me this year (much less cards/gifts) until my daughter saw it on facebook…about 9 at night she facebooked happy birthday to me. Still never said it to my face. My son doesn’t even realize he completely missed my birthday.</p>
<p>Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are such horrid days to go out to eat. Crowded, noisy, the food quality is a notch lower and the price is a notch or two higher. Bah, humbug.</p>
<p>I don’t care about cards- but I do like to be appreciated. H took me out to breakfast & we reminisced about camping trips with the kids- we haven’t done that in several years so we are determined to do it this year.
D1 called me and we had a nice long chat- my brother called me as well & D2 texted me.
H made me a wagon for my garden plants/soil out of his wood accumulation & parts left over from the kids toys.
Moms do so much, I don’t think it is out of line to show your appreciation to them- whether they gave birth to you or not.</p>
<p>I had an ok Mother’s Day and contact (no card or present, I’m ok with that, not thrilled, but ok) with both kids. BUT I have to chime in on the “You are not my mother.” side of the discussion.</p>
<p>I agree actually and may have said it to my H even before he did. He mentioned that phrase the day before and I sort of shrugged. However, when he asks me where is XX… the reply is also often, “I am not your mother, don’t ask me.” I say that OUTLOUD only when I am in a very bad mood or when we are in the middle of ick. It has crossed my mind more often than it has come out of my mouth, fortunately.</p>
<p>On father’s day, I haven’t ever gotten him something, although I do remind the kids. What I do tho’, is tell him that he was/is a wonderful father and give examples. He is a wonderful dad, … almost as good as mine, LOL</p>
<p>We are often a reflection of how we were raised, celebrations weren’t a BIG deal in my family, but there was something. Cake baked at last minute for birthday, present on order to be delivered later sort of thing. I tried to do better for my kids, but probably didn’t. But NOW my mom wants mega everything. HER birthday is a required celebration, she is DEVASTATED that she was alone (after church) on Mother’s day, even tho bro and I called (we both live 400 miles away). AndI sent a small gift, we never did big gifts. I don’t understand exactly why she needs a big gift today. I’d like to refuse to feel guilty, but …</p>
<p>I believe it is simply not a husband’s job to do something for his wife on Mother’s Day. It IS, however, his job to raise his children to know how to make a BIG deal on this day from the time that they are toddlers and lead by example. Someone has to orchestrate those wonderful handmade cards and breakfast in bed. After the kiddos are in college, it continues to be his job to prompt them a few days in advance, in case they have forgotten!
It really is too bad Mother’s Day is during the college school year…</p>
<p>Let me give you a solution: I went through YEARS of my husband forgetting my birthday, anniversary, Mother’s Day (which for years I celebrated for my mother…when she died I didn’t want to celebrate it all), and any other holiday that he could forget he did.</p>
<p>I have always told my kids that all I want from them was a card or a note.</p>
<p>So…one year when my husband forget it was Christmas and Chanukah I said to myself, “Self, you aren’t going to get angry again/feel sad again/or go without a present again.” (Please note: I am not talking about something expensive. My husband says that he is afraid to get the wrong thing so he doesn’t get anything. Oh…sorry, for one occasion he purchased a meat thermometer, another a bathroom scale. Perhaps…not so good.)</p>
<p>But this time I was talking something expensive: I went to the jewelry exchange and bought myself a diamond bracelet. (This was a thirty anniversary and Chanukah/Christmas AND 55th birthday gift…the latter was in summer when he was “saving” for something good.)</p>
<p>He has screwed up since then…but it has been VERY expensive.</p>
<p>Please note: Yesterday I received cards from two kids, one from the dogs, and we all went out for sushi. For me, that was great.</p>
<p>Note: Nothing beats being ignored when the threat of retaliation is near.</p>
<p>I’m so glad to see this thread! My daughter called yesterday, but that was it. No card, no gift. She forgot our wedding anniversary earlier this year, and often forgets birthdays. I stopped signing onto Facebook yesterday to avoid seeing all the kids saying nice things about their mothers.</p>
<p>This past Christmas, though, was the worst. My daughter was out of town (long story), so we agreed to celebrate a week later. I (very loudly and more than once) announced that this gave them an extra week to buy things for me. Didn’t work. On the day we were going to celebrate, there were several wrapped gifts, but not one – not a single one – for me. They were all for them, from me. I was beyond furious, and terribly upset. And what made me even angrier was that they couldn’t figure out what to do to make me feel better – I had to finally tell them to go out and buy something, anything, for me.</p>
<p>I don’t care about cards either. I was just using that as an example of something that takes a tiny bit of effort and thought.</p>
<p>And yes, I also tell my kids to do something for their dad on Father’s day because he does so much for them. Maybe the reason for the month’s gap between the two “holidays” is so some of us can get over our hurt and resentment and still be nice when FD comes around.</p>
<p>I got the cards and the flowers and most of the kids and both grandmas. I cooked the huge spread and then the kids all disappeared…poof, leaving me with a mess because they had ticket to some IMAX show and had to hustle to get there. Sigh. Love them all, but…</p>
<p>This month is so heavy duty for me. 2 birthdays, Confirmation, Mother’s Day, Graduation, Prom, And they don’t want to eat out. They want a spread at home. Which means work for me.</p>
<p>My mother always goes WAY CRAZY when it comes to buying Christmas presents… I honestly think I must have had 75 gifts this past year… Obviously some of them were smaller as opposed to larger, but still… My sister had slightly less then me but a few of her things were more expensive… so we always try to spoil her the rest of the year. I only got her something small this year for mothers day (Just spent 400 dollars on new glasses for myself…) but my sister got her a few items and my 12 year old cousin got her a mothers day gift as well. I think she was really surprised to get one from my cousin. (she has divorced parents and in theory is supposed to go to her dads every other weekend but unfortunately isn’t able to do that, so she spends them at my parents house… so she views my sister and I as her sisters and my mom and dad as her second parents). My dad took her out to lunch for mothers day also. The one year my mom really threw us for a loop because we showed up for mothers day and she greeted US with a present - a thank you for making it easy for her to be a good mother. We each got a jacket. I’m thinking about possibly getting my dad a Kindle this year for fathers day - we would all go in on it together.</p>
