<p>catsushi – I disagree with just about everyone here about how you should approach this.</p>
<p>All the lecturing, nagging, information-providing, and ultimatums you throw his way will not do one bit of good unless he has that internal “I want to quit” switch flipped, and only HE can do that. You can do nothing. And if you keep this up, he will ramp up the smoking when you’re not around, because that’s what people with addictions do. And he will have ‘special friendships’ with people that abet his habit.</p>
<p>The only thing you can do is to decide how you feel about dating a guy who smokes and hangs around with smokers when you’re not around. I don’t think I’m overstating the case.</p>
<p>To be clear. I specifically said not to show him photos of lungs or nag him or anything else. I suggested that she give him one ultimatum – nicotine or me – then dump him if he choses the nicotine. The odds of him quitting anytime soon are very slim. Once she’s dumped him, who cares how much he smokes? It won’t be her problem.</p>
<p>Smokers only quit when the net cost of smoking, including social ostracism, exceeds what they perceive to be the (exaggerated) cost of of quitting.</p>