<p>Oh and another thing…IF the young lady receives an invitation, <em>I</em> (the parent) would insist on talking to the parents of the young man BEFORE I made any airline reservations…to clarify the invite, and find out any other necessary information.</p>
<p>I would NOT make a reservation simply because the young man extends the invite.</p>
<p>The young man doesn’t seem to have extended the invite.<br>
They may not even be together by Thanksgiving.<br>
Even if they are, the relationship may not be at a level to bring her home.<br>
And, the invite could be for 5 days. Or some specific dates OP can’t predict.</p>
<p>Why should OP wait to make reservations for her dau to come HOME? As of now, that’s the only plan. And, yes, it could be presumptuous for her D to speak with the young man and encoruage him to invite her at the holidays because she had hosted him for one week in summer.</p>
<p>Yes, I think some are rushing this relationship. Why?</p>
<p>I don’t know thumper, I think I would feel awkward making that phone call regarding a kid this age. I would much sooner expect honest dialogue with a daughter. I assume that things are good in their home and they have a nice relationship. The OP in original post said the boyfriend was very nice and they enjoyed the visit. This young lady needs to be asked if there was an ivitation extended by the parents and if so it then the daughter should stay with them for a pre discussed number of days. I don’t think more than 5 days is appropriate, and this stay should not be during the Christmas holiday if she or the boyfriend are celebrating Christmas. I would not invite any girlfriend to stay at my home for Christmas unless it was a serious relationship. In fact even if there was a serious relationship I would say something along the lines of…We would love to have you but your parents would miss you. Does the OP celebrate Christmas…if so this is just very bad timing and they should express that to their daughter.</p>
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<p>Call me old fashioned. I would treat this the SAME WAY I treated my daughter being invited to a friends over spring break one year. I asked my DAUGHTER to have the other girl’s mom call me before I made the reservation. My daughter had NO PROBLEM with this plan…OH and when DD invited a friend to come here…her mom wanted to speak to me too…one question she asked “are you going to be there”…ahem…we were…</p>
<p>BUT without a conversation with the hosts, I would not make this airline reservation on my dime. If the kid was paying for it herself and was independent in that way…fine. BUT this does not appear to be the case.</p>
<p>PLUS I would want to know if there was anything my kid needed to know…from the parent perspective. My kids would have NO PROBLEM with this type of call…and actually would arrange it.</p>
<p>Thanks for your advises CCer’s. My DD is in the school now and she learned a lot from your advises above. I told her that to have a 3 weeks stay is inappropriate even if she got invited by the boyfriend. I told her if she feels strongly need to visit at a closer date for a week or so, I support her. She understands that and she is a good girl.</p>
<p>All is good, and thanks again.</p>