I found out that my future dorm mate died recently. The family has not told the school yet and I don’t know if they will.
Do I reach out to see if I can get a new roommate? Or should I wait for the family to tell the school? I’m unsure of what to do.
How did you find out? Are you in communication with the family? Why wouldn’t the family tell the school?
Was this roommate assigned randomly?
I would imagine the school will give you a new roommate once they find out. Is that a problem? Are you feeling anxious not knowing who your roommate will be?
@lululu_lemon im going to guess this isn’t your real name…but if it is, please change it…here is how:
I would not get involved in reporting if you are not family. Eventually the school will address the situation.
First ask yourself what you want. Do you want a random roommate? That seems the likely result if you do nothing. That is also the easiest path with regard to talking to the school - you wouldn’t need to do anything.
Have you identified another roommate you’d like to live with? That would involve making arrangements with housing. You may want to talk to the school soon if the process for room selection has already passed.
Are you and the other student both incoming freshmen? How do you know that the family has not yet contacted the school? If this is something that occurred very recently, the family may need a couple of weeks. They are overwhelmed and it is hard to guess when they would be able to talk to the school, though it seems that they thought to tell you, presumably so that you could make other housing arrangements, and would expect that you will do whatever you need to do.
If you are not sure how to proceed, I would suggest asking the Student Affairs office (or similar) at the school for any logistical support. This office would also be assisting the family with anything they need and may reach out to you, as the future roommate, at some point.
I think you should be patient. The family will notify the college when they can. You will be assigned another roommate. It’s not your place to notify the college about this death.
Do you already have your dorm room assignment?
If this was a randomly assigned roommate and you are ok with another randomly assigned roommate, probably last minute or even after the semester starts as they pull from forced triples, then do nothing.
If this was not a randomly assigned roommate, then go back to the source where you found your original roommate and find someone else. Then get them on your rooming group and/or whatever else you have to do to make it official.
Finding another roommate immediately is not at all out of line here. Depending on your previous relationship with your potential roommate, the parents may well have let you know in part so that you could move forward with other arrangements. You do not have to wait for the parents to talk to the school to get the ball rolling on your end.
Another possibility is that space will be left vacant, you just won’t have a roommate.
Yes, I am very nervous and unsure of what comes next. I did end up emailing the school after a long conversation with my parents about it. I am currently looking for a new roommate.
In regards to your other question: My roommate and I had been in somewhat constant communication since early April and then in late May she went radio silent. I had figured she went on vacation or was grounded or something similar and tried to put it out of my mind. After another week of waiting for a response, I began to develop a bad feeling. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something awful had happened. I talked with my Dad and he said, “She’s probably on vacation and has no service”. Which helped ease my nerves a bit. After another week of waiting, I finally worked up enough courage to look up her name, and sure enough, there was an obituary with her name and picture - my heart sank and I was and still am devastated.
@lululu_lemon this must be so upsetting. I am so sorry.
What comes next for your dorm situation is fairly straightforward: either you decide to go random - and therefore do nothing - or you find a new roommate and contact housing about setting that up.
I would strongly encourage you to contact the Student Affairs office at the school. This office would handle any needs arising from this special situation, including your own needs. While a student passing is a unique situation, it is not the first time the school ever dealt with it.
As an aside, generally I’m a fan of random roommates. You don’t need to be good friends with a roommate, especially freshman year.
I’m really sorry to hear about your future roommate. It might be a good idea to gently inform the housing office so they can address the situation and make any necessary arrangements.
I’m late to see this, but I wanted to express my sorrow at your loss.
My daughter’s roommate died in between semesters. I did end up notifying the school, as I needed to make arrangements for her to move back on campus, after she had been in an off-campus apartment.
I wish you the best of luck, and hope you find and connect with a new roommate sooner than later.