My parents just told me they haven't saved up any money for college despite making $300k+ (HS junior, intended communications/journalism major)

Paying for College
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Junior here. They said that they expect me to get a big merit scholarship or full-ride for only my grades. I’ve been telling them for MONTHS now that extracurriculars play a huge role in scholarships, especially at more selective schools, but they get pissed off and ignore me every single time. They’re African immigrants in their 50s, so they quite literally have no idea how the admissions process works in the US today.

For background info, I’m in a large public East Coast high school and in a pretty well known STEM program (I got pressured into doing STEM by my parents but I realized earlier this year that I’m a writer at heart). I’m panicking now because I don’t have a 4.0 (3.79 right now and projected to be 3.81 end of school year / 4.67 now and projected 4.78 at the end of this year) and my SAT is on the lower side (1400, but I’m retaking this Saturday and expect to score higher). The reason why my gpa is that is bc I’ve been suffering in math since 9th grade due to me being in an accelerated STEM program + I have severe burnout and rlly poor mental health due to being a loner and problems w my parents, but they only know about the first half. I switched to Calc BC this year after I did badly on my previous semester of calc, and I can 100% confirm that I’m getting an A. But of course my mental health is still bad and I can’t do anything about it because my parents are incredibly stigmatized and would just tell me to go to church or something.

Anyways. I have to get out of this house so I’m applying to only 1 in-state school and the rest are OOS. Are there any schools on this OOS list where I won’t be drowning in debt and/or I have a chance at getting good merit or new schools to add? P.S. I’m taking the PSAT in a couple weeks and I do expect to make the index cutoff for my state. I would much rather not go to college farther south than NC if that’s possible, but I do know that southern schools tend to be more generous in merit. Not sure if it’s worth enduring sweltering temps tho.)

Major: Communications or journalism

Safeties:

Temple University

University of Delaware

University of Rhode Island

Matches:

Ithaca College (aiming for Park Scholars program)

Augustana College

Emerson College

University of Missouri

UMass Amherst

Reaches:

University of Richmond

Oberlin College

UNC Chapel Hill (aiming for Thomas Wolfe creative writing scholarship)

Yale (dream school and I can’t bear to not apply)

UPenn (can’t bear to remove this one either but maybe there’s an outside scholarship?)

Here are my ECs, btw:

  • Literary Editor of school lit mag (10th grade & 11th grade. Will be Editor-in-Chief in 12th grade.)
  • Quotev and Uquiz creator: Created original fiction, interactive quizzes, and literary content across multiple online platforms, reaching over 21k (7.4k readers/quiz takers on quotev + 13.7k takers on Uquiz) readers and quiz participants while developing skills in audience engagement and digital storytelling (started quotev in 6th grade, uquiz in 8th)
  • 133.5 student service hours doing random things
  • Substack blog (Started in 10th grade) but has only 8 subscribers & 3 posts.
  • Instagram reading/writing account with 90 followers & 3.1k total views (started 10th grade, will grow). Youtube with 28.7k total views & 29 subs.
  • Writing a novel, but only 13k words in. (Started in 10th grade and I don’t expect to finish it by senior year.)
  • Writer in my program’s annual quasi-yearbook magazine (9th, 10th, 11th. Will hopefully be an editor senior year.)
  • Arts & Culture Writer *listed as a Senior Reporter* for a student-run county newspaper (Starting it this year, 11th grade. Will continue into 12th but hopefully in the features section.)
  • Research internship (Summer before 12th grade) bc it is a program requirement for the senior research project
  • Will probably have a leadership position this year in a club related to writing publishing stuff (11th grade, will probably continue in 12th grade.)
  • SNHS member and probably in outreach committee (11th grade)

These are good but not as good as the ones I see of people who get big scholarships so…yeah. Sorry for the yap but I’m really freaking out.

(Yes, I am the same person who posted just a few minutes ago. I’ve been really focused on college today for some reason.)

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I have good and bad news.

The bad/good news first: you won’t be drowning in debt (there’s the good news) because you would need your parents to sign on loans for you (ie., pay for you through a loan).

Bad news: Full rides have become almost non-existent - good news: they do exist for NMSF at some specific universities like the University of Tulsa or in the Deep South. So let’s keep our fingers crossed on your behalf because that’d be a way for you to go away to college.

Your best bet is likely a merit scholarship to one of your instate universities.

You’re a junior so you still have time to plan.

First, see who among the people your parents respect can provide them with information about college and college costs (specifically, how uncommon full rides have become since roughly the 2008 financial crisis). Perhaps someone from your community who’s been through it with their own children.

Second, make an appointment with your high school’s college counselor and talk about your problem. Would your guidance counselor be willing to meet with your parents and explain how to run NPCs, FAFSA etc… Does your HS organize a parents’ night about college?

Third, get information about public, instate universities and community college. You want to be ready to jump on any scholarship opportunity, some of which may have early deadlines such as Summer or September 2027.

Fourth, keep building your writing portfolio.

For writing, universities where you’d have a shot at scholarships Ursinus and of course UIowa, plus perhaps Kenyon (you may not qualify for sufficient aid though since they’re mainly need based nor merit based so run the NPC ).

BTW Writing + minor is probably better than a major in journalism.

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So you have to start with budget. That they make $300k and saved no money doesn’t mean they aren’t planning to give you some via their annual earnings (cash flow).

So you need to explain that you need a minimum of $400k for Penn. today it’s $97.4k in direct costs.

If they’re giving you nothing, then the reality is you will be in a community college. Or a local public living at home.

There is plenty of low cost schools out there - such as the PASSHE schools like Millersville or Penn West. If you get a 1420 on the SAT, Alabama would be mid 20s with merit. WVU high 20s. The NC Promise schools, such as W Carolina will be low - mid 20s.

When you build a list, you build for budget.

So step 1 - forget what they saved. Ask what they are willing to pay.

If it’s zero, then start at a CC or maybe your local state school. You can get a job now to save but it won’t make a dent.

Now there are schools where your stats might get you big money so you can go free or near free but consider them unlikely. But if you can’t pay for college - it doesn’t hurt.

Schools like Alabama A&M, Troy, Prairie View can be aggressive with your stats. They list full rides with your stats.

UNCC has the Levine. W&L offers the Johnson to 10% of their incoming class. Davidson has the Belk. There are others.

So the Parks fits right in.

Unless you find full rides possible, I wouldn’t bother applying to any on your list. The likelihood of obtaining an outside is slim to none, as are the odds of getting in. Btw - your profile is great but unlikely to be Yale/Penn great.

Here’s the thing - if you want to write, you can do it anywhere, including community college. If you want to broadcast, you have a cell phone and can practice more than I ever could as an undergrad.

Step one is talk to mom/dad about college costs. You didn’t say they won’t help pay. You said they haven’t saved.

Also, you noted merit scholarships - they’re great. An Alabama is low 50s and you can get to low/mid 20s with a 1420. WVU is mid 40svajd merit gets you to high 20s.

But Lockhaven, for example, is about $24k full pay for tuition, room and board. And they have merit. You didn’t say your state but if it’s not PA, it will have low cost options too and maybe even an exchange with other states. So you should share your state - whether PA, DE or RI.

But merit per se doesn’t matter - actual costs do. Some are cheaper full pay than others with merit.

Talk more to mom and dad. Hopefully they do plan to give you some funds to help pay.

Don’t panic. You have time. Show them actual costs and the limited merit possibilities. Help them understand by educating, without forcing things down their throats. It’s their $$

Good luck.

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Thank you for the advice :folded_hands: Unfortunately I have no one that my parents respect to give them information because the couple they’re close with have twin children attending Harvard and UMich. The one attending UMich apparently “fooled around and messed up high school” but he’s going to UMich so he obviously did not mess up—I’m being constantly threatened that I’ll end up like him and have to take on student loans if I continue “slacking off”. As for the one going to Harvard, he’s on a full-ride and even though I’ve been telling my parents that it’s bc Harvard is generous with need-based aid and need-based aid only, they still think it has to do with merit.

I will definitely look into the schools you listed. I’d rather not do in-state since all the good ones are only an hour from home or less, so I’d have to either stay home or visit home every weekend. But still, thank you!

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Thank you for the uni recs!! Living at home and doing CC isn’t really an option since my mom is borderline abusive at times. I’ve been trying to talk to my parents and ask how much they’re willing to pay, but they keep spouting the same nonsense about scholarships. I probably won’t be able to get an actual response until next year. I’m not a PA resident, but it’s safe to say that my state schools will not be mentioned. The reason why I’m not giving my state is because someone can figure out which school I go to + if a classmate sees this, they will know that it’s me posting it.

edit: I forgot to add that I’m applying for outside scholarships too, so hopefully if I somehow win a major one I can widen the list of schools I can apply to.

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In case anyone thinks “oh comms/journalism are useless”, I’m gonna double major in marketing once I enroll in the college I choose.

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Outside scholarships in any significant amount are near impossible. If your parents work for a large company, they might offer. My kids got $2k and $1k respectively - total. A friend whose niece got $500 from a local organization.

All states have regional publics. Delaware and Maryland are part of the Academic Common Market of Southern schools - you’d have to bend on major. But tuition is discounted out of state.

The New England States have their own associations.

So if you can share some info - we can help you better.

Do your parents have an issue with your major ? Some do and won’t fund that major.

Try working politely with your folks, educating them or ask your hs counselor to help. Or another parent of a friend that they don’t know.

But your list, short of any offering a full ride - I think Richmond and Delaware both do - is wasteful given your situation. And with your stays you are unlikely for them. Schools like Susquehanna like writers but best case and it may not be your case with $300k in income, but they’ve gotten down to the mid 20s.

Another thought is you try to get a job at Starbucks but will you make enough to live ? You can go to ASU on line for free.

You might find a job now - to start saving so you have something out away.

There are others like you and there are paths, sometimes just longer, to get to where you want to go.

Btw - how do you know they make $300k? They tell you ?

Apps take time so don’t waste it on schools that even if you get in, you can’t afford. Find schools that have full rides -based on stats or Hail Marys. Btw some away community colleges have dorms etc.

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At some schools, you will need to get into the b school. So getting into the college doesn’t mean you can study marketing.

Btw - the same people who don’t believe communications/ journalism are legit will also think marketing isn’t. Many, myself included, see it as soft. I have a journalism degree from Syracuse and an MBA in marketing.

Many schools require journalists to have a minor or second major, so in some ways they know the limitations of the degree too. One doesn’t need a degree in journalism to write / broadcast aid many, in fact, don’t. Some don’t have degrees at all.

First you have to get to college - meaning finding a financial path - before you worry about which major. But some parents will pay for some majors but not others which is why I mentioned that.

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They do have a problem with my major. I’ve been told multiple times since the college fair @ my school this past Thursday that I’ll end up homeless and in debt with a degree in journalism, comms, or marketing. As for your question on how I found out their income, it’s because I went through their tax returns. I understand that it’s wrong but oh well. And my CC does not have dorms :frowning:

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Will keep that in mind!

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These are majors that do not tend to be particularly well paying. You will want to try to minimize college debt as much as you possibly can.

ECs are most important for the big name selective and famous schools, on the “Harvard, Stanford, …” sort of level. One big issue is that these very famous schools get huge numbers of applications from students whose academics are essentially perfect, and they have to choose between them somehow. For the large majority of students who are focusing on more “normal, very good” universities ECs are not nearly as important. One daughter for example at the end of her junior year of high school had essentially no ECs at all, but she was still 5 for 5 for university admissions (for undergrad), with at least some merit aid.

This is unfortunate. Finding the right pace is important for all of us, and for most of us “the most advanced curriculum that is remotely possible” is rarely the right pace. Even very strong students are often better at some subjects and not as good at some other subjects.

The very good news is that there are lots and lots of very good universities available – hundreds of them. A 3.79 GPA can get you accepted to a very large number of very good schools – although of course you only need one affordable acceptance to a school that is a good fit for you. The issue sounds like it will be the “affordable” part of this.

It sounds like you need to focus on affordability. If your parents make $300,000/year then need based financial aid sounds very unlikely. This suggests that you are most likely to find affordable schools among your in-state public universities.

If also sounds like you are likely to be better off if you can live away from your parents, which might implying living on-campus. There is a tradeoff here in that living away from your parents home will increase the cost, and you will need to figure out how to afford to do so. Attending an in-state public university should not preclude you from living on campus.

The only schools that we found that cost less than $40,000/year were either in-state public universities, or were in Canada (and the latter was only because my daughters and I have dual citizenship – you might get a bit under US$40,000/year at some of the universities in Canada as an international student, but probably not all that much less than this). You need to find out from your parents whether they can afford to pay this much. We did not by the way consider some universities in the south that are known for very good merit aid. Also this was a few years ago and prices are likely to have gone up since then.

This does lead me to wonder: What is your home state?

I am wondering what your parents would find if you can get them to run the NPC for Harvard. It might wake them up to one example of what university costs in the US.

There is a point here that you might want to think about: Sometimes adults will not accept advice from their kids, but will accept the same exact advice from other adults who are in appropriate positions of authority. Thus sometimes you might want to get for example your guidance counselor to tell your parents something even if you could have said the same thing yourself.

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Yeah, I have a feeling that when senior year rolls around, I’m going to have to set up a meeting w my counselor and parents if they keep ignoring what I say. I’d apply to my in-state schools, except the good or even semi-decent ones are all less than an hour away, which would warrant living at home. My mom is borderline abusive both physically and verbally, so naturally I don’t want to stay home. I replied to someone here that I also don’t want to disclose my state because people can easily figure out my school and any classmates seeing this will know that I’m the one seeing this. You’d think it’s a small chance, but I’ve found 3-5 people from my school on Reddit.

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I think DadTwoGirls had a great idea. Ask your parents what schools they would like you to look at. Then sit down with them and run the cost of attendance numbers. Then you can ask them if they would be able to afford that for you. Also have possible merit numbers in hand. Full rides will most likely not be possible at the schools they are thinking of for you.

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I would genuinely kill myself if I majored in STEM. My mental health is already stretched thin as it is in my STEM program.

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In-state schools. Though I will (try to) sit down with them this spring and have a real talk about affording college…but I have a feeling they’ll say again that I’ll get a big scholarship and it’s fine.

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Yours doesn’t have dorms but others do - community colleges. You don’t need to go local.

So here’s the question - are there majors they would fund or help fund? It’s their money. You can major in anything and still write, broadcast or join clubs. There are literary magazines on and off campus and more.

If you take the it’s my way and no other way attitude, well then you’ll have contributed to your situation.

What majors would they pay for ? Does one work for you tangentially ? And guess what, kids double major or change. So maybe they don’t want English/marketing but what if you majored in Econ or Poli Sci - and doubled with or minored in English.

So where do they stand on other majors. You need to provide full and complete info if you want guidance.

Thx

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There are out of state schools as inexpensive as in state. If you PM your state, I’ll send you some based on your stats.

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Economics is the one subject I hate with a passion aside from math. In no way am I business or stocks or that-sort of-thing person. The only reason why I’m doing marketing is because it’s more realistic than journalism or PR. And I’m not a politics person but if there’s no other way…sure. The only major they would pay for is probably STEM (though I WILL sit down and have a talk with them about what they’d pay for) but like I replied to someone else, I will be driven to suicide if I do that. I’ve suffered so much already studying what my heart is fundamentally against. I’ll pm you my state.

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Assuming that your household income of $300K is accurate & that your parents are not willing to pay up to a possible full amount for college, then you should not apply to any Ivy League schools. None of the eight Ivy League schools offer merit or athletic-based academic scholarships; aid is 100% need-based. There are many other non-Ivy league schools that also do not offer merit aid, I believe about 30 or so.

Don’t waste any time & energy on applications to UPenn or Yale. Apply only to schools that offer merit aid.

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You will get a lot of merit from Ithaca, and I think is a likely for you academically… My much, much lower stats kid got 35K a couple of years ago (wasn’t a Park Scholar but DID apply to Park - had good ECs related to major but much worse grades/scores). It was cheaper than URI (OOS) where they also got some merit FWIW.

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