<p>I think there are some good ideas just above. However, in the “don’t do this” conversation, I think there are a couple of things that the child may need to hear anyway. I think the child should feel that the parents are behind his or her 100%. This doesn’t mean that anything goes behaviorwise, but that the love is unconditional. I think most of us have been manipulated by the kids at one time or another into calling an administrator regarding a complaint, and we have later regretted it.</p>
<p>We always try to formulate our ideas in writing, and then sleep on it (literally) in the rare event that we feel intervention is needed in the educational process. Usually, less is more in these types of things, and after a bit of distance, you may decide differently than after an emotional phone call, etc.</p>