My son’s GPA is very low, by the end of his junior year it will likely be 3.13. This is despite the fact that:
He receives extensive (and expensive) private tutoring
He studies so much, frequently more than 8 hours a day on weekends
He enjoys school and likes learning and academics
He scored 1580 on the SAT with very little studying
Aside from this, I received advice to “let him do what he wants” and to get him full neuropsychological testing.
I spent more than $5000 getting my son neuropsychological tested. The testing was largely useless. It found that his Full Scale WAIS-4 IQ is at the 99.97th percentile, with each index scale approximately 3 standard deviations above the mean. His score on the Continuous Performance Test and Wisconsin Card Sorting Test indicated that he is very attentive and ‘cognitively flexible,’ has average impulse control, and very strong executive functioning. Based on these tests and questionnaires that he answered, the neuropsychologist said that he clearly does not have ADHD and likely does not have anxiety or depression.
I’m simply at a loss. His testing clearly indicates that he should be one of the top-performing students in his grade, but he’s well in the bottom half of his school. It just kills me to see him not reach his potential.
My husband spoke with several of his teachers about his performance, and they seemed to think that his low performance in their classes comes from a wide variety of sources; low class participation, low problem-solving ability, and an inability to understand material presented to him in class. I’m simply at a loss. I know he tries hard and I know he’s focused because I see him working; I see everything he does, and I know he’s a truly bright kid. I want him to go to college and he wants to go to college, but I worry that he won’t succeed in college.
I’d like to stress that my son likes school, and always has. He talks to me with genuine enthusiasm about math concepts he learned. He has cried several times over bad grades, he feels like his school prospects are hopeless.
Has any other parent been in a similar situation? Are there any neuropsychologists here that can help me understand what is going on?
I have a friend whose son sounds very similar. They were able to send him to a school where we live for a year that taught him how to learn in a manner that works for him. He was able to apply those skills and now is doing very well at the University of Miami. You might want see if there is any similar program where you live.
He got a 1580? Personally I think he will do fine. Yes, his college list won’t include the top schools but that’s ok. A 3.13 will still get him in somewhere respectable and lots of kids hit their stride in college. Def start him off there with a light schedule though- no more than 4 classes and not the toughest ones. Ease in.
Has he taken any AP classes? Maybe repeat them in college even if he has the credits to place out.
There is no objective test for ADHD. He should meet with a psychiatrist to rule it out via questionnaire and interview. We ran into contradictory opinions on ADHD for my kid and the neuropsych. was wrong.
If he works 8 hours on weekends, I wonder if OCD is going on, or some distraction online is being overused.
Are his hearing and vision okay?
I get that this is a mystery and that there is a mismatch between apparent ability and actual results. Does he agree that he has trouble understanding material?
There is definitely something going on that is not captured by test.
I would not stress it so much. You do not want to end up with depression. It may take years and very expensive specialists to identify root cause.
You may try to find smaller less academically challenging school with great support that will make him happy.
Is there area or subject that he loves and gets easy As or easy Bs without studying for 8 hours. What are his hobbies?
With 8 hours studying he almost does not have a life. GPA does not determine him.
Going to top school or getting top grades do not make people necessarily happy.
Ask him what he wants to do (not what he wants to do to please you). Not going to college is not a failure. He may be great manager for a small business. Consider some programs with studying online one class at a time while working and enjoying life. It should not be one size fits all…
How did he do in school when he was younger? How is his behavior, demeanor, mood, friendships, interests etc when he is not involved in school work?
Did the neuropsychologist observe him in school? They come to our school but I don’t know what your district allows. This person can observe without the other students knowing who they are.
Did the neuropsych ask for teacher input?
There could is a reason for this and the investigation needs to continue. I would begin with hearing and vision testing, and I would let them know what the problem is.
I do agree that his gpa is not very low and he will go to college if that is his plan, but at the same time I also understand the desire to understand if there is something going on.
Sounds like he has slow processing issues. Probably reads slowly also I would assume. These kids should never be marked down for not participating. It’s because they usually know the answer but it just takes them longer to come up with it. His teachers should be asking the question but delay asking him the answer. He probably needs a 504 at least for extra time for testing. He most likely can’t get the answers out fast enough for the tests.
Get this book since he’s studying too long for no rewards. This will teach him how to study more effectively.
Bio feedback helps with this. Developmental Optometry would be a good evaluation also since lots of good students skip lines reading. This is correctly quickly and you probably never heard about it.
And the book I recommended have strategies that often mirror those with ADHD which I find interesting. You can use your phone calender instead of using paper /pen etc and this will make sense as you read. It’s kinda a quick fun read.
Studying long with no positive outcome means he doesn’t know how to study but also indicative of kids with ADHD to a point. He needs to learn how to study in shorter spurts so he retains the material and the book goes into this.
So it’s hard getting the 504 he might need. Been there done that since he’s pulling the high SAT.
The problem is some kids learn differently. The $5,000 tests should of evaluated his processing. If not they should and I would talk to them about this.
Let me add to this. In middle school my son kept telling us he couldn’t remember things after he read them. So his school pulled in a grad student from Northwestern to test his memory. He scored at almost college level. His slow reading was the processing with bad reading comprehension issues. That fixed that quickly. This is where the developmental optometry came in with a reading specialist for like a few weeks. It didn’t take that long.
I will suggest something you may not believe, but I think it’s more true than some parents acknowledge.
A 1580 on the SAT is not just luck. Spending 8 hours doing homework but not having the corresponding grades and not understanding what he learns in class sounds like he is majorly distracted by something, probably the internet.
I see teenagers every day for work. I think you’d be surprised at how many tabs a student might have open on their computer. They click back and forth effortlessly. Unless you are monitoring him the entire 8 hours, I think it is very likely that screentime is the culprit.
Years after middle school, my D confessed to me that her homework wouldn’t have taken anywhere nearly as long to complete if she hadn’t been spending an awful lot of time on Tumblr, Reddit, and other sites. Social media wasn’t a thing for middle schoolers then. Add social media into the mix and it can be all-consuming.
Perhaps your son’s issues are not anything to do with LD’s. Consider monitoring screen time and phone usage.
Is this true for all of his classes? What is he like when he is not in class? What does he do for fun? Does he go out with friends?
The teachers also said that he doesn’t understand material presented in class. When did his teachers begin saying this? Was this also true in middle school?
Were his grades always like this (they are not bad at all) and you were surprised by his high SAT? Or…did he always score well on these types of tests (starting in the younger grades) but did not have the grades to match?
3.13 is not very low. One of my boys just passed high school by the skin of his teeth (he hates school but is a dang genius when it comes to cars and engines).
It didn’t matter to us. All we told him was - just pass so you can graduate and move on in life.
Now he will be attending one of the BEST technical colleges in the country for CNC machining. They didn’t care about GPA, just that he has a diploma. He will always have a job in a career he loves.
All that to say, I feel bad that you think 3.13 is something to be worried about or that your son cries over a bad grade. He must feel so much anxiety and pressure!
I hate that we do this to kids (culturally speaking).
I agree with others that a 3.13 is not low. However, I wonder if it would help to look at the particular courses that are the most challenging for him. Does the 3.13 represents mostly Bs across the board? In that case, he is still getting honor grades and I would not worry too much. Is it a strange distribution so that he is getting mainly As + low Cs and Ds? Such a spread might suggest taking a close look at why he is struggling in particular subjects.
Given the results of his neuropsych, it’s hard to believe he does not understand the material presented in class. He may be bored, given the scores you reported. He may be thinking about higher level concepts so thinks several steps beyond the material presented in class, which may be misinterpreted by the teachers. He may not participate for a variety of reasons (talk to him about that) but contrary to your comment, the neuropsych was very helpful, IMO, because it ruled out many possibilities. Keep in mind (and no offense to academics meant here) but with those scores, he is going to be brighter than most of teachers and his classmates. How does he socialize with them? If he is spending so much time with academics on weekends, does he spent any time with friends and other activities? The class/academic performance that is not seen as consistent with his potential may be associated with some of the above. Has he shared with you why he doesn’t participate in class?
I am also a professional in the field. I asked that my title here be removed. But you can PM me if you would like.
I agree that a 3.13 is not “low” and is certainly good enough for many colleges. That being said, there is a pretty big mismatch between his gpa and his SAT score. Only about 3500 kids in the country will get a 1580 or higher so it seems counterintuitive that your son is struggling with a B average despite hours of tutoring. I have a good friend who has two kids in the same boat (super high intelligence and middling school performance) and it took multiple neurologists to figure it out - it ended up being a combination of mild dyslexia and very slow processing speed. One also had a language based learning disability which had a strong negative impact on the child’s ability to get his thoughts on paper. You might want to go back to the neurologist and have them dig a little deeper. Not for college admissions but because you want him to be successful once he gets there.