My daughter had to conceptualize the math. She had to see it. But how do you see 7x5? It didn’t make sense to her. She always ask the “why” of it. Some brilliant person wrote a kids book on how to memorize the times tables. Something like 7 girls took 5 dogs to the Vet five times. Kinda of thing. Then she would say “That now makes sense” and it didn’t to me …
She felt stupid in the “easy” math class and it was too easy for her but anything more was just frustrating. Good thing for calculators. Lol.
Something isn’t clicking on many levels for this poor kid. Just curious what the OP will do with all this advice?
Sometimes more is not better. Studying efficiently should be able to be done in a reasonable amount of time…not all day every day all weekend…and still with limited success.
This is perhaps the coach that the neuropsych was suggesting. Sometimes knowing HOW to study is a key ingredient…along with having a good foundation and this is especially important in math.
I wanted my kids to have a life in addition to academics. Actually, some of the things they did outside of academics made them the successful people they are now.
I hope this summer this young student is doing a job they enjoy and having some fun…and NOT taking one summer school course…at all.
I would focus on the social right now, as this will only help him moving forward in his senior year of HS and beyond.
I would encourage him to go out with family and friends, and I would encourage him to get a job, volunteer etc. Even though most camps likely have their staff in place, I know from experience that positions often open up late in the hiring season.
I think (opinion) there is a lot going on here, and we are not seeing all of it in a natural context. We are “seeing” it bit by bit…drips and drabs of information…in isolated units. People are way more complex than that.
In my line of work I do a lot of classroom observations throughout the day…not only in academic areas but also during lunch and recess (which is very important). We really need the whole picture, including interviews with teachers and family, doctors etc to understand what is going on. To me, reading on a HS level in kindergarten, weaker social skills (reported), constant studying with limited progress, etc…warrant further assessments/information.
OP I would try to gain more information from the neuropsych- that person should be a valuable team member.
I wish you and your son the best for a happy summer!
My son has now been formally tested for ASD. He does not have it. The original neuropsych said that after talking to him for 15 minutes it was fairly clear that he did not have ASD so she did not give him any autism-specific tests. The second neuropsychologist who actually performed the tests said that he clearly does not have autism.
I’m really struggling with this thread. I’m so happy you got answers and he is not autistic. Maybe it’s time to let him just be who he is and a 3.1 is not a bad gpa. I worry that the focus on testing and trying to find out “what is wrong with him” will be detrimental to his mental health and self confidence. Maybe try to stop focusing on the negative and take a positive approach. The stress of not being good enough has got to be weighing on him.
Spending way too much time on homework is a stressor that needs to be addressed, I would think, especially before college. Regardless of GPA or other outcome.
My advice- Love the kid you have, not the kid you think you SHOULD have, or wish you had, or the kid you could have if only the current kid would (fill in the blank).
Set reasonable boundaries- homework ends at 10:30 pm on weeknights. No more than 5 hours of homework on the weekend-- the rest of the time is for fun with the family or with his friends. He gets a B on a quiz- celebrate his accomplishment and the effort with ice cream after dinner. He does something really kind for someone else- helps an elderly neighbor with a chore, spends time with someone going through a rough patch-- he gets EXTRA ice cream. He goes out of his way to be a good family member (does his chores without being nagged) or a good community member (volunteers to help participants in the senior center’s “Here’s how to use social media to keep up with your grandchildren”) he gets to pick the movie you guys all watch together on Sunday night.
Love the kid you already have, and start to emphasize all the non-academic ways that you admire and are proud of him.
Can a kid with such a high SAT score have dyscalculia?
Something doesn’t add up here (no pun intended), and it does sound like this kid may have an internet addiction that he is hiding. I personally would probe that further.
Yes, I understand. I think for his senior year, he’ll only spend 2 or so hours a day on homework. We’ve found and toured some local universities that my son could definitely get into.
I doubt that he has an internet addiction. This summer, he’s barely spent any time on his computer and phone - maybe 30 minutes on his computer here and there to play a Football game. I have Screen Time enabled on his phone, and he spends an average of 35 minutes a day on his phone.
I doubt he has dyscalculia either. He was far ahead of his class in math in elementary school. I remember seeing him on Khan Academy doing pre-algebra when he was in 3rd grade and the rest of the class was doing fractions.
This summer, he is working at a grocery store. He seems happy, he’s made a few friends.
One thing that has occurred to me throughout this thread:
I have known a few exceptionally smart people who did not do well in high school.
Most of them at some point in life have “clicked”. It might be that they found the one thing that they really cared about and were good at and started to do it very well. It might be that they became more mature. It might be that they figured out how to use their exceptional abilities in one dimension to overcome a significant weakness in a different direction (forgetting basic simple trigonometry formulae during an exam in university, recomputing the trigonometry formulae from basic principles in the margin of an exam, and still finishing the exam in time with a strong A comes to mind as one minor example).
Sometimes exceptionally smart people have some difficulty finding other people who they can relate to. This will frequently get better eventually after they get to university, or after they get to a particular job or activity that they relate to and that other similar people also are doing.
I can recall one example of a student who was way worse in high school than anything we have discussed on this thread, went to a rather low ranked university with a highly specialized major, excelled, transferred to a highly ranked university, excelled, went on to a PhD, wrote the largest PhD thesis in the history of the well known university where he was studying (it had to be bound into two books – one book wasn’t big enough), and became a tenured professor and then professor emeritus at a university that never would have accepted him as a student straight out of high school.
Most of the time very smart people eventually find their way.
This is good.
I just have a feeling that this is going to work out, and that this student is going to find his way at some point and excel. I hope that I am correct.
My child has Bs and Cs and frequently lets grades slip to Ds, “wakes up”, panics, and goes to work to recover grades. In our case, he doesn’t like school, and I rarely see him spending any meaningful time studying.
But this thread is equally valuable because perhaps he might not like school or studying because he has difficulties with processing speed, and other things mentioned above. We never had him tested.
@Clemsondana makes great points as something to look into, as my son will learn anything fast with a single tutoring session and not even have to study afterwards.
@DadTwoGirls that story is very similar to my husband’s. When I ask him what happened and when, he said that at one point, things just “clicked”.
Agreed, but am interested how his grades are right now as his first semester ends in less than 2 months and if things are going in the right direction.
I haven’t read through all 241 replies, but is it possible that your child is bored? 1580 on the SATs? That is not easy to achieve for most people. Also, 3.18 gpa is not horrible and I would not consider that “very low grades”. It’s a B average. I keep saying this all over these forums, but help your child find their passions or at least help them lead down different paths they can explore. Some kids just aren’t that into learning about things they don’t care about and will “tune out” instruction since they aren’t interested. But that’s perfectly normal and ok.
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