My son has very low grades and tries very hard; advice needed

[anne_1973]

He took two AP classes in his freshman year but has not taken any since.

[anne_1973]

He answered several questionnaires during his neuropsychological testing, however, he did not do a formal interview. Personally, I somewhat doubt that he

@compmom

There is no objective test for ADHD. He should meet with a psychiatrist to rule it out via questionnaire and interview. We ran into contradictory opinions on ADHD for my kid and the neuropsych. was wrong.

If he works 8 hours on weekends, I wonder if OCD is going on, or some distraction online is being overused.

Are his hearing and vision okay?

I get that this is a mystery and that there is a mismatch between apparent ability and actual results. Does he agree that he has trouble understanding material?

He answered several questionnaires during his neuropsychological testing, however, he did not do a formal interview. Personally, I doubt that he has ADHD. He does his work, pays attention, and doesn’t fidget.

How would such OCD manifest? I knew someone with OCD, but that manifested for her in that she would constantly pick the skin on her hands. I don’t believe my son does anything similar. I don’t think he’s distracted online. It’s possible, but I don’t see him playing screen games. I have not noticed any problems with his hearing, and he has a condition that requires him to get his vision tested every year, so I know his vision is good.

He often says things like “his brain doesn’t work” and “he just can’t solve things,” so yes, I would say that he does have trouble understanding material.

[jym626]

What does he say when you ask him why he doesn’t participate in class?

[anne_1973]

@ucbalumnus

Are his grades in school higher or lower in specific subjects compared to others?

Not particularly, he has an A- in his Spanish class, but according to him, that is generally regarded as an “Easy A” class.

[anne_1973]

@twogirls

How did he do in school when he was younger? How is his behavior, demeanor, mood, friendships, interests etc when he is not involved in school work?

Did the neuropsychologist observe him in school? They come to our school but I don’t know what your district allows. This person can observe without the other students knowing who they are.

Did the neuropsych ask for teacher input?

There could is a reason for this and the investigation needs to continue. I would begin with hearing and vision testing, and I would let them know what the problem is.

I do agree that his gpa is not very low and he will go to college if that is his plan, but at the same time I also understand the desire to understand if there is something going on.

He did very well in school when he was younger, he was placed in the gifted classes and excelled there too. He also placed in the top 10 in our state in several math competitions, but struggled to improve beyond that. His behavior is normal, he’s always been fairly cheerful - I don’t think he’s ever been angry in his entire life! He’s complained about not having friends for his entire life. I’ve tried to assist him with social interaction strategies but he’s always found ‘small talk’ very boring.

The neuropsychologist has not observed him in school. I didn’t know that was an option! The neuropsychologist did ask for teacher input; I did not read what the teachers said, but the neuropsychologist said that the teachers said similar things to what my husband got from the teachers.

[anne_1973]

@jym626

What does he say when you ask him why he doesn’t participate in class?

He says that he can’t think of anything good enough to say.

His humanities classes are discussion-based and graded partially based on class participation. His STEM classes are not graded on class participation at all, and there is little opportunity for students to participate in his STEM classes.

[anne_1973]

@thumper1

3.13 is not “very low”.

There are colleges where you son will get accepted.

What are his interests? What does he enjoy doing?

What does HE want to do post high school?

ETA…that neuropsych should also have been addressing any questions you had about your son. What were the recommendations the neuropsych gave?

I suppose so. My main concern is that he’ll struggle in college, just like he’s been struggling in high school. He wants to study Applied Math or Statistics, perhaps Computer Science too. The neuropsych did not recommend further testing, rather she recommended that we spend money on a “coach” for him.

[anne_1973]

@Knowsstuff

Sounds like he has slow processing issues. Probably reads slowly also I would assume. These kids should never be marked down for not participating. It’s because they usually know the answer but it just takes them longer to come up with it. His teachers should be asking the question but delay asking him the answer. He probably needs a 504 at least for extra time for testing. He most likely can’t get the answers out fast enough for the tests.

Get this book since he’s studying too long for no rewards. This will teach him how to study more effectively.

How to Become a Straight-A Student by Cal Newport | Goodreads

Bio feedback helps with this. Developmental Optometry would be a good evaluation also since lots of good students skip lines reading. This is correctly quickly and you probably never heard about it.

And the book I recommended have strategies that often mirror those with ADHD which I find interesting. You can use your phone calender instead of using paper /pen etc and this will make sense as you read. It’s kinda a quick fun read.

Studying long with no positive outcome means he doesn’t know how to study but also indicative of kids with ADHD to a point. He needs to learn how to study in shorter spurts so he retains the material and the book goes into this.

So it’s hard getting the 504 he might need. Been there done that since he’s pulling the high SAT.

The problem is some kids learn differently. The $5,000 tests should of evaluated his processing. If not they should and I would talk to them about this.

The IQ test that he received evaluated his Processing Speed at 143, about 3 standard deviations about the mean. I actually bought the “How to Become a Straight-A Student” for him in his freshman year. My husband and my son implemented the methods outlined in the book, but found little improvement over the course of 4 months using the methods.

What is Bio feedback? It says that it is the control of the body systems, but how would that help? I do not believe that my son skips lines while reading, his reading has always been extremely advanced for his age.

[Asaid11169111]

@anne_1973

A 3.13 GPA is not a low GPA, many universities would consider this GPA as more than acceptable for admission.

If he is able to achieve such a good score on a “timed” SAT test shows that he is very capable.

My two cents, not all Executive in administrative positions and successful persons graduated from well known universities. People skills, hard-work, an ambitious drive, and pure “luck” have helped many reach their goals without going to a top-20 university.

You should be proud your son has not “given up” even with the many struggles, these things build character and inner strength.

Everyone has given good advice, take from it what will benefit your son.

[momsearcheng]

Coach will work only if there is no underlying issues and your son wants to be coached and follow coach recommendations. I doubt that coach will help with social interactions.
Does your son have any hobbies?
Does he enjoy sport, participate in any clubs?
I hardly can imagine teenager that is not social who will not spend time on the internet, will not play computer games, will not hide in some hobby (reading, drawing etc) and will spend all time doing HW… Something does not add up… Sorry…

[thumper1]

@anne_1973

I do not believe that my son skips lines while reading, his reading has always been extremely advanced for his age.

The SAT where he got a 1580 involved a LOT of reading. And timed. This doesn’t seem to be the main issue.

You have said more than once that is reading was at a very high level…but how was his reading comprehension? There are kids who can call words for much higher grades than their age, but their comprehension and application of what they read isn’t at the same level. For example, you said he was reading in a 12th grade level in kindergarten. But did he understand what he was reading? Could he explain it in his own words, or was he reciting what he read?

Comprehension and application are far more important.

[anne_1973]

@Lindagaf

I will suggest something you may not believe, but I think it’s more true than some parents acknowledge.

A 1580 on the SAT is not just luck. Spending 8 hours doing homework but not having the corresponding grades and not understanding what he learns in class sounds like he is majorly distracted by something, probably the internet.

I see teenagers every day for work. I think you’d be surprised at how many tabs a student might have open on their computer. They click back and forth effortlessly. Unless you are monitoring him the entire 8 hours, I think it is very likely that screentime is the culprit.

Years after middle school, my D confessed to me that her homework wouldn’t have taken anywhere nearly as long to complete if she hadn’t been spending an awful lot of time on Tumblr, Reddit, and other sites. Social media wasn’t a thing for middle schoolers then. Add social media into the mix and it can be all-consuming.

Perhaps your son’s issues are not anything to do with LD’s. Consider monitoring screen time and phone usage.

I will consider this.

When I walk past his computer while he is working, I never see him on screen games. Sometimes he’s on a gamer chat website called Discord and sometimes on YouTube too, but he schedules him time such that he works for 55 minutes and then takes a 5 minute break before going back to work for 55 minutes.

He has the Screen Time in the settings on his phone, but he only has 2 hours a day on average on his phone, of which 1 hour is Google Maps.

[thumper1]

@anne_1973

which 1 hour is Google Maps

Why?

[anne_1973]

@momsearcheng

I hardly can imagine teenager that is not social who will not spend time on the internet, will not play computer games, will not hide in some hobby (reading, drawing etc) and will spend all time doing HW… Something does not add up… Sorry…

He spends time editing Wikipedia in topics about Mathematics, he also reads nonfiction books in the morning and at night.

[anne_1973]

@thumper1

Why?

He drives to school.

[anne_1973]

@thumper1

For example, you said he was reading in a 12th grade level in kindergarten. But did he understand what he was reading? Could he explain it in his own words, or was he reciting what he read?

As far as I can tell, yes. I had discussions with him about the books he was reading and he seemed to truly comprehend them. I could be wrong, though.

[twogirls]

You indicated that your son has not had friends, he finds small talk boring, he looks at Google maps because he drives to school, he edits math websites, and he reads nonfiction.

When he was reading HS level books in kindergarten, what kind of books was he reading and did you also read the books?

I am confused as to why he has to look at Google maps each day because he drives to school.

[momsearcheng]

Is hs trying to avoid traffic and uses different routes?
Ups. Responded to a wrong person.

[twogirls]

I was wondering how far he lives from the school…?

[momsearcheng]

So he has hobbies.
Discord is very popular among kids who are not social. Is he discussing games without actually playing? That would be strange, but Discord is used not only for discussing games.
So he is socializing through Discord and YouTube. He enjoys editing Wikipedia and reading nonfiction.
I would recommend to put some tracking software to see how much time he spends on each website. You maybe surprised.
Caution, if he would know about it, with his IQ he will have no problem to figure out how to outsmart it ( been there ).