If he drives to school everyday, he should not need to refer to Google maps…at all.
@anne_1973 glad he did the questionnaires. Fidgeting isn’t always part of ADHD. And skin picking is a different disorder (as is hair pullling) than OCD. If he is taking a really long time to get work done, OCD would be reflected in a kind of perfectionism, perhaps.
I am wondering if he had type 1 diabetes if he has a disorder requiring annual eye tests. If so, that explains a lot. Kids with type 1 can go in and out of focus as their blood sugars fluctuate. This may be totally irrelevant. I have a kid with type 1 so noticed that comment. With a pump and CGM things are more manageable but type 1’s are never steady!
@anne_1973 I hope that this kiddo has had a complete and comprehensive physical to rule out any physiological reasons for his inconsistencies.
There are lots of reasons why kids need annual eye exams. My kid does as well…and it’s not because of diabetes. But certainly…any other medical issues…those should have been mentioned to the neuropsych.
Medical issues can and do sometimes cause some inconsistencies (like the ones @compmom pointed out with diabetes).
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Just curious - does he wear glasses - but embarrassed to wear them in school?
I had a kid like that - couldn’t see the board, couldn’t follow what was happening and so missed assignments, etc.
Just throwing out a hail mary question, etc.
My kid finally relented - and put on the glasses in class.
It’s an easy way to fall behind and once you fall behind in anything, it’s hard to catch up.
This really is a big problem. I wear glasses and throughout middle school I didn’t wear them at school because of bullying issues caused by me wearing them. It got better after people grew up more around somphmore year, but it was really bad for a while. Definently a possible consideration if OP’s kid wears glasses.
I’m curious how this kid thinks of his current life - what makes him happy, what upsets him, what he enjoys, what he “put up with”, whom he hangs out with (both in person and online), what he does for fun, etc. At the end of high school junior year, he should have a plan for after high school, even vaguely. How does he perceive himself in one year, three years, and five years? If he has thought about these questions then I don’t think 3.13 GPA is a problem. It doesn’t match the 1580 SAT; however, as a high school teacher I’ve seen similar cases.
First, I am sending you hugs as it is so painful to see your child struggling.
Next, I would say that something doesn’t add up with your description of his screen time. To put it very bluntly, your child is almost certainly spending more time gaming, on Discord, on YouTube, etc. than you know. Why would he be discussing gaming on Discord if he weren’t gaming? Gaming (and other activities on-line) is INCREDIBLY addictive. Addictive like drug addiction almost -you simply cannot stop. I am a tech idiot, so I don’t know how these things work, but I do know that smart kids like your son can easily, easily bypass computer monitoring of their activities. Spending 16 hours per weekend studying doesn’t make any sense at all. Having the self control to just take “5 minute” breaks on Discord or YouTube is nearly impossible for a teen. I think we may be getting to the root of the problem.
To go along with this, I know that at some schools today (not all), kids have their laptops open during class and are completely immersed in their own online world and not listening to the teacher. What does your son’s school do to limit this (if anything)?
What can you do to get a more accurate sense of his screen usage than simply walking past his screen (which is useless since he can toggle screens in less than a second)? I suspect you may find the answer to your questions in that information.
From what I am reading here, it almost sounds like what used to be called Aspergers. Usually there are executive functioning issues then. If he uses maps to drive and has not memorized the route , that seems similar to my son. Also not liking small talk. Doing well on standarized tests. He may not be distracted on the computer, but also may be day dreaming a bunch.
Is it possible to make an experiment? You print out all necessary info and he does everything on the paper and reading hard copy textbook. I bet he will not last 2 hours.
It seems to me that the student might be on the autism spectrum and should be appropriately evaluated. That explains a lot of what is being reported. I would also have him evaluated for OCD.
Is he using his devices incognito or with a vpn? Are you sure he doesn’t have the password to change his screen time usage?
I’m interested that you are able to determine to the minute how much time he is online and exactly what he is reading and when.
I’m also going to suggest what most parents don’t want to hear: he might be hiding something from you. I’m not alluding to anything nefarious or unsavory, by the way. I’m saying that he probably wants privacy and he wants to use his computer in ways you might not approve of: Discord and Reddit are worlds unto themselves. He might have a very extensive online community of friends you know nothing about.
Kids will find ways to explore their interests and exert their independence. Don’t underestimate what he does when you aren’t looking. Is it possible you are encroaching on his freedom just a little? Not trying to be rude. I do think parents can be blind to flaws in their own parenting and in understanding that their children may do things we don’t like.
Within the autism spectrum, there is something (widely accepted overseas but variably accepted in the US) called pathological demand avoidance. I do not know if your son meets criteria for being on the spectrum, but Pathological Demand Avoidance could be a contributory factor to his failure to respond to questions in class. Understanding Pathological Demand Avoidance in Adults.
You have gotten a lot of opinions here to work through. At this point, it’s my opinion that you need to do a few things:
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Look very carefully at all the summary and recommendations on that neuropsych.
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If you have any questions, reach out to the neuropsych office for an appointment to discuss.
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Somehow get your kid involved in something other than studying.
In my observation in this thread, it seems that your son does better in solo activities (like the SAT or computer activities are) but has more difficulty when required to interact with others. This includes social situations.
Re: college…there are colleges out there that will welcome your son. Perhaps schedule a chat with the school counselor sooner than later to get some realistic ideas.
I’m not sure what else can be said…
I agree with the other posters that you may want to consider that he could be on the autism spectrum. That could be why he has trouble participating in class and doesn’t have many friends. In person social connections can be difficult for some people on the spectrum although I have know plenty of autistic people who are social. He could have social anxiety too.
Google Maps can be fun to use to explore different areas. I have one kid that is very interested in geography and knows all the counties in the world. I like Google Maps and use it almost daily to check out different locations folks are talking about in articles or posts I read. I don’t see anything weird or wrong with his use of Google maps.
His interest in non-fiction rather than fiction may mean he is more at ease with facts rather than the interpersonal dynamics most fiction deals with and also points to a possible Austism spectrum diagnosis.
This article might be of interest: https://psychcentral.com/autism/high-functioning-autism-symptoms#signs-and-symptoms
Also plenty of highly accomplished people are autistic. If he is autistic it doesn’t mean anything negative for his future. It may just help him to understand why his brain works differently.
You might like to read this piece about being diagnosed as autistic as an adult from Holden Thorp, editor in chief of the Science family of magazines, former university chancellor for WUSTL and UNC-Chapel Hill and distinguished Chemistry professor, who also happens to be happily married and have two kids: https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.adq0060 —Super accomplished and happy autistic guy.
This is a little online quiz from a reliable source: https://www.additudemag.com/screener-autism-spectrum-disorder-symptoms-test-adults/
If any of this sounds familiar it would be worth it to get him evaluated with autism in mind.
There is nothing wrong with Google maps, having an interest in locations, researching etc.
However…this student is reportedly using Google maps every day because he drives to school. Why does he need Google maps?
Does he have a long drive and there is a lot of construction and road closures going on? Or…is this part of a bigger issue…such as autism or OCD (or both)?
Also…the fact that he studies for 55 minutes and then takes a 5 minute break…studies for 55 min and then takes a 5 min break…is very telling. Not to mention that we do not know the quality of the studying.
A 3.1 isn’t a very low GPA. Maybe for very selective colleges but it’s perfectly fine for many schools.
It’s really depressing to imagine studying 8 hours a day on the weekend. Do you make him do this? Why do you let him do this? What would happen if he studied less? It just seems like he is studying past the point of it being useful to him and he could use that time to pursue his interests.
Also I agree with the others he can get in many colleges with a B average and that great SAT score. You just need to find the right fit that is affordable.
Lots of good advice here.
One thing I don’t think I have read upstream is…maturity. It might take him a couple of more years to mature into the HS student you think he should be now (and more years to continue to mature).
In the meantime (and thru his whole life), let your kid be himself. He is who he is. He doesn’t need to go to a top 10 school - he needs to go where it is a fit, where he will thrive, and where he will be happy.
Throw out visions of his Harvard degree and Nobel peace prize and curing cancer (I exaggerate for effect ).
Tip: don’t tell him he is smart (as in “you can do this”). It will make him feel bad when he can’t do “it” (for whatever reason he can’t).
The reason I asked about AP is because UK schools (or Irish) will only care that he has 3, 4, or 5 AP scores of 5 in the subjects he’s interested in (+his SAT score). His GPA won’t matter and his degree will depend on his ability to do well on high-stakes exams.
Some European programs may also function like this and offer “courses” (degree programs) in English.
So, for instance, if he’s interested in CS he would need a 5 in CS-A, Calc BC, and Physics C, plus probably another science or stats.
If he’s interested in Economics, he would need (for instance) a 5 in Calc BC, Macro/Micro, European or US History, plus one more.