<p>I went to my prom with the woman I ended up marrying last year. </p>
<p>Of the whole affair, the only thing she and I remember is leaving early because, frankly, it wasn’t entertaining to us.</p>
<p>My S1 went to the Prom both jr. and sr. year. In both cases, he had a steady gf who would have evaporated if they didn’t go.<br>
S2 did not go to the prom either year. He didn’t have a gf and really just wasn’t interested in all the effort involved. He went fishing the night of his senior prom with a friend who was also skipping it. </p>
<p>When I told S1 that S2 wasn’t going, he said he wouldn’t have gone either if not for the gf’s insistence.<br>
I think it’s just not a big deal to guys.<br>
S2 didn’t seem to care that he wasn’t going so I didn’t make a big deal of it.</p>
<p>One of my S’s best friends did not go to Prom, nor any of the other dances in high school. When his mom tried to encourage him to go, he replied, “It just doesn’t interest me.”</p>
<p>Fast forward 4 years, S and his friends are about to graduate from college. Today I found out that S’s same no-Prom, never-dated-in-hs friend just got engaged. He is the first of S’s hs or college friends to get engaged.</p>
<p>His mom told me he just had no interest in dating in high school. Then he left for college, and fairly early in his first semester took his heart out of his chest and handed it over to a girl. They’ve stayed together ever since.</p>
<p>Per graduation parties… I almost passed on it for Colorado_Kid1, who said she didn’t want one. I thought perhaps it would be ok to just go to a nice dinner with grandparents. As a plus, that would give the shy kid more options to go to friends parties. Well we decided to do the party and had many friends from church, our work, and the neighborhood. But there also was a handful of students, and it was a wonderful time for all. We held it Memorial Day (2 days after graduation), so there was not much contention with other parties. </p>
<p>For Colorado_Kid2, I knew we should have a party. Although I made some printed invitations, son decided to do invites by FaceBook. I was freaked out by the huge number of responses, but he assured me the “Yes” were “Maybe”, and the “Maybe” were “probably No”. I ended up having waaaaaay too much food, but lots of leftovers for the houseguests!</p>
<p>Speaking as a student who chose not to go, it’s really not my thing, as many have said. My HS prom was about six years ago, and I haven’t regretted not going once. To some it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, to others it’s just some dance where you’re forced to dress formally. Not to mention for shy people, finding a date can be weird.</p>
<p>It’s not for everyone. I don’t think anyone is for everyone. I wouldn’t read too much into it, or worry about your son…he’ll be fine.</p>
<p>I recently read an interesting article that I think sheds some light on the whole subject of teens and their social circles:</p>
<p>[Why</a> it’s good to be a high school loser - Nonfiction - Salon.com](<a href=“http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2011/05/01/high_school_interview]Why”>http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2011/05/01/high_school_interview)</p>
<p>Just to follow up on the question about parents attending prom, at DS’s high school, prom is for juniors and seniors, and senior parents are invited for the first hour only. (Small school, about 75 kids in each grade.) They do the dance thing with their son/daughter, take pictures, get wistful, then leave the kids to it. (I didn’t get to go to the lovely party some of the other senior parents were hosting for after the dance-with-your-kid thing either. 
) (Yes, I am female and sometimes it’s all about me.)</p>
<p>'It might make a parent worry about the child’s ability to find his/her niche in college, too."</p>
<p>I see where you’re coming from, but I’d be more worried about the niche-finding abilities of a child who dragged himself to an unappealing event for appearances’ sake than one who knows what he wants to do and does it. If the kid’s an introvert (or party-hater), he’s likely to be a happy one if he’s aware of his own preferences and secure enough to follow them.</p>
<p>Never went to a prom, never missed it, never cared. They’re absurdly overwrought and drama-filled social events for a particular kind of person, and zillions of perfectly happy, normal people are not that kind of person.</p>
<p>And as a follow-up to Hanna, while I was just a teensy bit disappointed that I wouldn’t get to dress up and go to a lovely event with my gorgeous, tuxedoed son, I also thought it showed a good bit of maturity for him not to feel like he had to attend something he had no interest in. Absolutely gotta respect that.</p>
<p>My S is not going to prom. He has no interest in going, and I am fine with that. He has never gone on a date, does not seem interested in dating. It doesn’t bother me any, I am more interested in him getting a drivers license, which he is not interested in either!</p>
<p>My S is only going to the prom because it was already paid for in his senior package at the beginning of the school year. He is going “stag” with around 5-6 guys and a couple of girls. He is driving our van- he calls it the ManVan. So they will all wear tuxes and tennis shoes and probably have a really fun evening just hanging out together. Not what I envisioned, but I think it is great that the focus is not on the “date” but being with friends as the high school experience ends.</p>
<p>Didn’t attend my senior prom either. Went on to date, socialize and attend dances in college (as well as graduate :)). As a high school teacher, I see many students who choose not to attend and they are fine. Actually, I hear more about the ones who attend, spend way too much money and are disappointed later. Support your son and do something fun as a family on Senior Prom night. He will be gone too soon.</p>
<p>Hey storytime, Just in case you are keeping up with this thread - Happy 50th Birthday! ;)</p>
<p>As I mentioned in another post, my son’s date just backed out at the last minute. He has a tux, tickets, limo and flowers ordered and no date. Of course we paid for everything since she is from a different school. He is too embarrassed to go by himself so OP it definitely could be worse! My heart breaks for him but he seems not to be too upset. I could kill this girl! How could any mother allow their daughter to do this? She claims to have a very important engagement that just came up.</p>
<p>Knitkneelionmom - That’s unthinkable! How rude. She probably said Yes without thinking it through enough. </p>
<p>That’s worse than my son, who did invite his his date (the GF who was “not a GF”) til 2 days before prom. They were the last of a huge co-ed group to pair up. I think she bought the flowers.</p>
<p>Knitmom - that is horrible! If I lived close to you, I would go with your son just to keep him from wasting the money! People can be so inconsiderate!</p>
<p>Was not asked to my prom, so did not go. Married a wonderful man, anyway (will be celebrating 28th anniversary next week). </p>
<p>H did not attend his prom. He worked, instead, preferring to make money rather than waste it (as he considered it). We did not know each other in high school.</p>
<p>S did not want to go to his prom, but he was told by students & teachers that he would regret not going. His school’s prom involved riding a bus to the event, and all prom-goers had to ride that bus there/back. S was not looking forward to being stuck on the bus or at the event for the whole time. He mentioned something about it, and I told him he didn’t have to go. He shared what everyone had said about future regret. I told him H & I didn’t go,and we have never regretted not going. I also told him about many friends who did not go to their proms yet still lived a full & happy life. He was relieved … chose not to go … hasn’t looked back.</p>
<p>D went to hers with a bunch of friends. They didn’t stay long, going to a friend’s farm for a big bonfire early in the evening.</p>
<p>Proms are highly overrated, in my opinion. I am sure they are fun for many, but they are NOT necessary for everyone.</p>
<p>Knitkneelionmom: D had a friend at another school who was asked to prom by a young man who left her there. Her mom actually went to the young man’s house & gave him a piece of her mind! 
The boy’s mom defended him, so the apple didn’t fall far from the tree at that house.</p>
<p>Hey kelsmom, proms are highly overrated. Consider yourself in good company as Billy Joel didn’t go to his either. He had a gig, go figure. It worked out pretty good for him.</p>