My son wants to adopt a dog!

Parent Cafe
1

<p>He is entering his soph year and will be living in a house next to campus- it has a fenced in backyard. He really wants to adopt a dog. A friend who is a vet student has been taking him around to local adoption agencies and she’s going to adopt a dog, and is encouraging him to do the same (they are going to do this <em>together</em>) Doesn’t that sound sweet?
At first I was, “NO WAY, don’t do it”. Now I’m starting to soften. </p>

<p>He says the adoption is free, and they spade/neuter and treat the animal with physicals and medical problems for a certain period of time. One of his roommates will also have a dog (lab) living at the house.</p>

<p>Am I out of my mind? </p>

<p>I started to bend, and told him that because I will end up with the dog at least for doggie day care vacations, I’d appreciate it if he gets a small dog (we already have a sheltie and a cat). He told me he wants a dog that can be his <em>best friend</em>- a lab or lab mix. :eek: We don’t have fences on our property!</p>

<p>I guess I just want to vent a little, but give me a sanity check. Am I being a pushover about this; should I put my foot down and say absolutely not; is everything going to be OK???</p>

2

<p>he needs to be sure he can really be there to care for the dog, just hanging in a back yard is not enough, the dog needs to be walked, socialized, etc</p>

<p>so long as he has really committed to being a good daddy, yeah!!! but animals need lots of attention, and people who will really be there for him, so long as he has the time, the love and the knowledge, and a “grandma” to back him up!!!</p>

3

<p>I’d say it’s up to him, if you can’t watch the dog on vacations, there’s plenty of doggie daycare facilities, it’s part of being a dog owner and he should expect to take care of all the responsibilities. It seems like he is, so I would say it’s fine :).</p>

4

<p>3 years ago My son felt the need to get a dog. He got an italian greyhound, very needy and very hyper. I am now the proud but resentful caretaker of my granddog (and I have 2 dogs of my own) as my son travels all the time now as a musician.<br>
They have no idea how much work it is and how much it ties them down!!! Does he want to run home from a party because the dog needs to be fed, or let out or brought in? Who is paying the vet bill for the first infection, abcess etc. Will his roommates revolt when he is overwhelmed at finals time and leaves the poop ( pardon the language) and the smell is drifting in the windows. Who will clean or pay the damages when the dog has house accidents. I could go on and on, don’t get me wrong, I love dogs, but they are a huge responsiblilty and time consuming!
Sorry, venting because granddog misses his daddy…ahhgg!</p>

5

<p>Arrange for your son to adopt a dog for a week before he adopts a dog for life. When my D kept telling me how she wanted a dog (she has a cat and is an excellent cat owner), I left my dogs with her for 36 hours. That was all it took: now she’s “waiting a few more years.”</p>

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<p>This was my first thought after having read the title to the thread! Make sure that he gets a dog that you can like.</p>

7

<p>IMO I don’t think your S should adopt a dog at this point. Your S is just starting his own life and likely has no idea what he’ll be doing in a couple of years - where he’ll be living, what type of place he’ll be living in (many apartments and rentals don’t accept dogs), if he’ll be off to grad school somewhere, what his hours will be, and any of a number of other variables. He has no idea if he’ll be able to take adequate care of a dog then. I’d be surprised if he could now with a variable college schedule, possibly studying abroad, etc.</p>

<p>I recently adopted a dog and many of the dogs available for adoption have gone through some kinds of trauma and often take ‘extra’ work and care (and watching) to help them come around. It’d be unfair to the dog to subject it to yet more trauma by going to a home only to receive inadequate attention (not on purpose but due to busy schedules) and possibly going back to the facility and put up for adoption yet again.</p>

<p>I’d encourage your S to consider this from the dog’s perspective for a moment rather than his and really think it through including the points I mentioned. Your S should definitely consider adopting a dog at some point down the road though when he’s settled and truly ready for one.</p>

8

<p>Exactly my thoughts as well. That’s why I tried the compromise- get a little dog (thinking I can keep it inside the house and won’t have to “run” it!).</p>

<p>The foster idea is intriguing. I wonder if the humane society will let someone foster a dog for a while, instead of adopting it for good.</p>

9

<p>Most animal shelters are begging for foster “parents”. Houston appears to have an organization looking for 14 days fosters for labs. I’ve seen it on Craigslist.</p>

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<p>My good firend has a lab and that dog is very difficult, very stubborn, and not all that nice to be around. Labs need a lot of exercise, I believe. Umm, has he read the bestseller, Marley and Me? I’d run out and get him a copy and he might rethink the lab idea.</p>

11

<p>I have two dogs and right now I’m the only one who takes care of them, that is until I go to college and my dad takes over. </p>

<p>Although I would love the idea of bringing them to me at school if I get an off campus one year, I don’t think it would possible. With studying, classes, a social life I wouldn’t have time in the day. I have to take them outside around 5 times a day. I have to play with at least the little one or he whines constantly. I have to feed them 3 times a day. Brush them. Give them medications. Take them to the groomer’s and vet’s. Clean up after their shedding. Clean up the backyard.</p>

<p>I would <em>love</em> to have them with me, but either I wouldn’t be happy, or they wouldn’t.</p>

<p>Maybe its because I have two dogs, but I would make sure he knows what hes getting into because adopting a dog is not like buying a piece of furniture.</p>

12

<p>My mom got our first sheltie when she was in college. Or, more accurately, my mother’s roommate got our first sheltie when they were in college. Yup. Then she moved across the country and decided the dog was an inconvenience. THEN she had the nerve a year later to ask my mom to send the dog to her (WTH?). Not happening, obviously. My grandparents kept her some summers and also helped but it was hard. </p>

<p>If you aren’t sure maybe you can encourage him to act as a short term foster for a week or so, for one of the organizations. Maybe that will either change his mind or cement him to the idea completely, and give you a piece of mind that he’s had a taste of what the commitment aspect would be. </p>

<p>The major problem with getting the dog now is that a lot of things in his life will change. He will move, possibly across the country, he may get married soon, and have children. These things are somewhat complicated by a dog, although obviously not impossible. However, I’d recommend he get an adult dog, rather than a puppy. it will be easier to train if he is working, and will probably already have been trained. Also the dog will have a known personality, and the organization will be able to better match a dog that is easy going as opposed to high maintenance, whereas a puppy can grow into any personality traits. A small puppy could be a twenty year commitment…I would personally entertain the idea of a dog in a couple years, but I don’t think I’d commit to a small puppy. That’s asking a lot before your life is established. </p>

<p>I am not sure what he means about the adoption being free though. Most rescues charge at least for the spay/neuter and vetting, and usually ask for a minimum donation. It varies by area. Here the common adoption fee is about $200-$500. I do not think people should be deterred or swayed by a dog being a good deal, or cheaper. For example, even if I were to get a dog for no adoption fee, a yearly vet visit for our small, healthy, young dog runs along the lines of $200. The financial commitment to vetting here, is personally what would deter me. That would depend on my job and the stability there. An emergency vet visit can run in the hundreds or thousands, so I’d also need to have a good chunk of money saved before I could seriously consider, or at least enough to start paying back my parents (perhaps the more likely scenario?) :wink: And, even if the group didn’t charge a fee, I would never even consider adopting the dog and not leaving a donation, because I work with rescues, and many of these people have such wonderful hearts, the demographics are so different from this board. These people are in a lot of cases living paycheck to paycheck but continually dip into their own pocket and savings in order to pay for pulling the dog, vetting it, and vetting dogs that aren’t as adoptable and will be in their care a long time.</p>

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<p>I grew up with dogs in the family always. I adopted my first dog a year after graduating college. The only thing hard was it made the next 10 moves to new apartments very difficult. I went to work for a few years, back to grad school, then out to work again; moved across the country…always with the dog. I had to move once each year for a decade, until finally I bought a house in my late 20;s and married soon after that. It was a hassle each time to rent anew, until I finally owned my own place.</p>

<p>Ask you S to imagine the NEXT rental. If the next roommates have a cat, for example, then it’ll be hard to convince them to take in a new guy with a dog.
So no matter how much they like each other as people, he might be declined just for the dog. </p>

<p>Many single apartments have dog clauses. He may decide to travel after college, or move to a major city.</p>

<p>But, the good side is: it’s a DOGGIE! Nothing better, IMHO. And although I lived in one crime-filled urban neighborhood for my work in my early 20’s, and later in more remote rural towns for my work…nobody ever harmed me as a single female in all those years.</p>

<p>When we first married, my H also had a dog so for a while we had a blended family of two dogs. </p>

<p>My only caution to your S is that, while this apartment setting might be fine, the next ten or fourteen years might be less predictable for the dog’s welcome when renting a new place.</p>

14

<p>How about one of those SONY dogs that poops batteries?</p>

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<p>My sister got a dog the summer before her junior year in college. She actually got him when we were at home, the first time my parents left us alone at home while they went on vacation. She had the dog for one year at school and then moved somewhere else where dogs were not allowed. My parents ended up with that dog and had him for the next ten years. My parents came to love the dog, and they kept him long after my sister was in a situation where she could have taken him back. But it is a real possibility, as others have mentioned, that your son may move somewhere after this year where pets are not allowed, and he will have to find another home for the dog.</p>

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<p>When we place dogs in our rescue, it is called their “Forever Home.” In my opinion, there is no way your son can commit to that right now.</p>

<p>Also, the temptation will be to leave the dog in the backyard for convenience (no running home to let him out). In my crystal ball I see… the lab will bark, dig, and be destructive. In a year or two he’ll be back at the shelter. Just MHO.</p>

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<p>I just can’t see how this is a good idea.</p>

<p>Perhaps a college town rescue/shelter expects to rehome a dog every few years – but IMO this isn’t what this should be about.</p>

<p>Can you suggest that he and his vet student friend share custody of one dog? Her field of study implies an ability to continually have pets in her life with less disruption to the animal.</p>

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<p>i just adopted a dog from a rescue shelter. he had been in a foster home. my nephews have tried to adopt dogs while in college and in all the moving from year to year, they have really had to shufffle things around and involved parents and grandparents to help board the dog. i see more and more college students with pets–i am sure there is something comforting about having a companion, but it is fairly time-consuming–especially if you want a happy dog!</p>

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<p>A college kid with a DOG? Absolutely not. Nothing good can come of it.</p>

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<p>I think it is a lot of responsibility to take on at this time in his life. As said before, Dogs are a big responsibility that may be more of an incumbrance at your son’s age. I have 3 dogs, so I know, and one of them was adopted from a shelter. They need veterinary care, constant walking and attention, especially when you first get them and are training…think newborn baby…up at night, etc. I guess a lot would depend on the type of kid your son is. Does he spend a good deal of time out? Does he like to travel? How has he handled other responsibilities in the past? Is he prepared to take care of this dog for the rest it it’s life? Why not let him take your sheltie to college for a few weeks and see how that goes?</p>