<p>If your S decides to adopt a dog, I think it should totally be his responsibility, and you shouldn’t be expected to take the dog for vacation periods unless that’s truly something you want to do, and agree to far in advance. Your S also needs to be aware that having a dog will restrict his housing options and also will restrict things like study abroad and internship options. </p>
<p>How you handle this situation is important because it’s also laying the groundwork for what your S will expect you to do with grandchildren.</p>
<p>Assuming that your S comes home for the summer, do you want a dog of any kind living with you for the summer?</p>
<p>Your S also needs to realize how expensive animal medical care is, and he needs to be willing to take responsibility to foot the bills. </p>
<p>I also agree with this statement that someone else made: “When we place dogs in our rescue, it is called their “Forever Home.” In my opinion, there is no way your son can commit to that right now.”</p>
<p>If he’s making such a “commitment” by thinking if things don’t work out, he’ll just set the dog free (Sadly, that’s what many college students do in my area. Lots of dogs are just dumped by them in the streets at the end of each semester) or give the dog to you, he needs to realize he’s not ready for that kind of responsibility.</p>
<p>“That’s why I tried the compromise- get a little dog (thinking I can keep it inside the house and won’t have to “run” it!).”</p>
<p>This compromise IMO won’t work out because all dogs still require a lot of work, and most college students neither have that kind of time nor are able to make a longterm commitment to pets with 12-16 year lifespans that require lots of caretaking as dogs of all sizes do.</p>
<p>If your S wants to have a large dog around can’t he be a foster parent to a dog while it awaits adoption? I know that my local humane society shelter, a no kill shelter, allows people to be foster parents to animals awaiting permanent adoption. One doesn’t make a permanent commitment to the animal, but still the animal gets to stay in something better than a cage in a shelter, and one gets the joys of a pet, but doesn’t have to make a lifetime commitment. I am not sure, but I imagine that with advanced notice, the shelter will help the pet find another foster parent when one’s going to be out of town.</p>
<p>I haven’t read the whole string … but if I were the parent in this situation I would try to discuss the in-school and post-school elements of adopting a dog. Adopting a pet should be for life and depending on the dog this typically would be 10 years or so. I had a bunch of friends who adopted dogs while in school and it typically worked out well while in school as they were pretty home-bound during school … what was more of an issue is after graduation (when they have 9-5 jobs, money, and free time). Finding apartments with a dog is MUCH more difficult, jobs with travel are more difficult, busting your hump and working until 11:00 pm is much more difficult (unless you like cleaning up your floors and rugs), and spontaneous weekend trips are much harder. I would hope my child understands the implications of caring for a dog post school and that a decision to adopt is made with a commitment for the dog’s whole life.</p>
<p>Another vote for the time is not right. Most shelters/rescues are overwhelmed with dogs and would give anything for more foster homes. Sons gets the companionship of a dog and the knowledge that for every dog he fosters, he’s made room in the shelter/rescue for another dog’s life to be saved.</p>
<p>My husband’s response this AM was “College students should not have dogs.”</p>
<p>Two things are working here…first is my son has always been someone who does not know a challenge. He is definitely a risk taker, which is good in some ways and bad in others. In this case, he is IMO heading toward jumping into something that he isn’t ready for.</p>
<p>Second, he knows deep down inside that we would help out. He knows me too well. I would never let an animal be neglected, and I would always be there step in as “grandma”. My fault- my kids know I’m a pushover for animals.</p>
<p>Anyway, I’m going to get dad to talk to him about it, because obviously I’m way too soft for this.</p>
<p>We’re in the same situation with our D, new apartment back yard space etc. She’s longing is for a dog or cat, and after lots of discussion is now being realistic(IMHO)about maintaining her freedom and flexibility. She’s been in touch with the local Humane Society which has a foster program. There’ll be a few hours training in a couple of weeks then she’ll be able to foster an animal for up tp a few weeks. Apparently, foster animals are usually those too young, or needing short term special attention of some kind prior to adoption. We’ve always had animals and she’ll be great with them but I think this will be an excellent compromise - no long term committment but the opportunity to nurture a pet. She can also discontinue the fostering if it becomes a burden. And of course the big plus - animals will go home to some other permanent home that I don’t have to either provide or find!</p>
<p>Over many years I’ve been the “victim” of various inconsiderate dog owners–I’m the neighbor listening to barking dogs while owners are gone all day, having to clean up poop in my yard, (or smell the piles left next door) and having my little kids threatened when the dogs escape from their yards or are “walked” without leashes. Say no. Especially to a big, potentially loud and messy dog. The problem is, he won’t know what the dog is doing while he is gone–which will be most of the day. Consider the neighbors–and yourself since you’ll probably get stuck with the dog when he realizes how much work it is.</p>
<p>We adopted a dog from the animal shelter when our boys were in elementary school. He practically tore our house/yard to shreds for the first year. Later we found out he has some weird allergies that require medication. It is not cheap and I’m runnng to the vet once a month to get the doggie prescription refilled. You never know what you’re going to end up with. </p>
<p>Our shelter dog has been a great dog and we love him dearly but it is a big committment/responsibility.</p>
<p>We live next door to a group of young, recent college graduates with a dog who is alone for up to 12 hours a day and barks constantly. As a dog lover, it breaks my heart. After suggesting that they consult a vet, consult a trainer, return the dog to the parents who gave it to them, etc., I found out they’re moving next week. I was just about to figure out how to report them. Now I’m sad because no doubt they’ll live next door to someone who does not work from home like I do, so they’ll really be able to pretend that the poor little dog is barking all day long.</p>
<p>I’ll echo other advice: Unless you are prepared to care for a dog, don’t get one. It may actually be easier for a college student who is in and out of the house a lot. But I see way too many young adults with dogs (in the city, no yards) who have no business having them.</p>
<p>My D went through a similar stage. Her roommate had a dog and she decided she wanted her dog from home. We humored her and within two weeks she was in tears that she needed us to take the dog back home. She was sad and felt a bit like a failure. She was taking a dog who lived on 2 acres to live in an apartment with a small yard. The dog woke up early each morning and she had to take it out for runs since it wasn’t getting the yard exercise it got at home. But the real thing that got to her was when the dog ate something it shouldn’t have and was vomiting and such for 4 days resulting in a Sat visit to the vet for 400 dollars. She misses him but can still get her dog fix since the roommate has a dog.
If he insists on a dog and you don’t mind getting it eventually I would ask him to wait a few months and see how his roommate copes with living with a dog.</p>
<p>Well…I don’t know. Most rescues IME will not really consider a 21 yr old for adoption, even if their official policies say they will, unless the person has some history in the rescue community or other animal pursuits (such as veterinary training). If they typically get more than one app per dog, they have the ability to be choosy. I don’t think any responsible rescue expects to or wants to rehome a dog every few years. Open admission shelters are another story, since they’re usually government run, stretched for resources, and have much less stringent standards. The dog my mother’s roommate got in college (which again, ended up our dog) was picked solely because it was the evening of her last day. They liked another puppy more, but they ended up with a baby sheltie (probably a little high maintenance for a college student with little dog experience) based on circumstance. It’s weird how things work out that way. We wouldn’t have Prince today, if not for that. And Rascal was basically a purebred (probably mill bred) sheltie. Someone bought her from a pet store, obviously too early, and by three months she was at the shelter already. Their loss I guess. </p>
<p>But anyway my ultimate point is that if you’re 18 with valid ID and the money for the relatively nominal fee, you can adopt a dog from most open admission shelters. Rescues and privately run limited admission facilities are another story. I don’t believe pets are disposable in any way, so my problem with getting a dog is that the commitment would have to take precedence over things like strategic career moves, etc, if it were to jeopardize my dog. Many people will think that is stupid but that is the way it is and I would not sell out my dog if I had one of my own just for something like more money. At the end of the day it wouldn’t be worth it because I’d feel horrible about myself and I’d have lost something that meant more than money or success. And you better believe if it came down to it I would do whatever I had to to take care of Prince if for some reason the need arose. And we would work it out somehow. Luckily I have siblings so we would work it out and make whatever arrangements were necessary. He is just as much one of my siblings as the human ones.</p>
<p>I guess I echo the advice here that says a dog probably isn’t a great idea at this point in his life – there are just too many unknowns within the next few years in terms of living conditions, travel, apartments, roomates, etc.</p>
<p>Parties are another thing. Am sure your son and his friends are kind and responsible, but you sometimes hear stories of drunks at parties abusing them, letting them out, etc. </p>
<p>If he adopts a dog, could he just enjoy it during summer and on breaks and have it live at home with you?</p>
<p>He def. has my empathy/sympathy. I DESPERATELY wanted a dog of my own for years. One day a stray followed me me home, and everywhere else after. But, we had a family dog and my father didn’t want another. I was allowed to keep him just long enough to find him a new home, which we did, with a nice lady from church. We drove him to her house at night, in the rain, about 4 miles away. The next morning, there he was, sitting wet on our doorstep waiting for me. Dad wouldn’t budge. The lady ended up giving him a great home, but still… I finally got a dog when I was 23, and it was worth the wait. We now have three.</p>
<p>Maybe this is is why I “caved” and let our two of our children get dogs fairly young (at 10 and 11).</p>
<p>I just reread your OP – guess much of the decision depends on you, and how easy/difficult two dogs would be. Does your sheltie generally like other dogs?</p>
<p>I would not recommend that a college student adopt a dog. Dog ownership is a big responsibility for the long term. Is he willing, and able, to commit to looking after this dog properly for what could be 10-15 years, depending on the current age? Is he financially able to supply food, treats, training, veterinary care? How about boarding if he wants to take a vacation (presumably after he finishes college, but even college kids go away)? What about when he finishes college and needs to work all day, is he willing to leave a dog alone for 8+ hours a day? Not a good idea, especially if the dog becomes used to having people around through the daytime hours. </p>
<p>In every single instance I’ve seen where a college age kid adopts a dog, it has ended up being the parents’ dog, in very short order. Give it serious thought, and I second dmd’s advice to ‘borrow’ a dog for a week, better yet a puppy to show how much work it is to be a responsible pet-owner.</p>
<p>Our sheltie LOVES other dogs. Our cat, however…hmmm.<br>
I think as it stands now, he’s going to “observe” for a while- his roommate is going to bring a dog up there so he will see how difficult it is. Hopefully his roommate will be a good parent. He’s a wonderful young man, so I have confidence and hope in him.</p>
<p>I would be much more prone to go for it, if he wanted a little lap dog or something. But he wants a lab. We don’t have a fenced yard. Our sheltie, for some reason, stays in the yard on her own recognizance. But a lab- I don’t know. They like to roam.</p>
<p>I really enjoy going on my evening walks with my sheltie and meeting all the other dog neighbors. Dogs are so funny- they all have their distinctive personalities. And it’s fun to sort of watch the relationships develop between the dogs after they meet each other again and again.</p>
<p>I do not understand it when people actively discourage their dogs from socializing with other dogs. Some neighbors will pick their dogs up and hold them rather than let them sniff another dog. Very strange- I can see it if they don’t know the dog, or if their dog is a biter. One neighbor has the cutest little dog- the husband will bring it over and let it run around with our dog, but when I see the mom walking it, she’ll pick it up and won’t let it near. Very overprotective. Sad, because whenever the two dogs see each other their tails just start wagging and they’re all smiles!</p>
<p>About barking- our sheltie is not a barker. Which is odd because that’s something shelties are sort of known for. When she was a puppy, whenever she started we’d shake a can with coins in it and she’d shut up immediately. It got go the point that just picking up the can shut her up. We no longer need the can at all now.</p>
<p>I pick my dog up sometimes because he gets nervous around larger dogs, since he was attacked by a much bigger dog when he was very young. He is also real small, under 20 lbs. It’s probably not the right thing to do, but it’s the easiest. He likes smaller dogs. And he likes bigger dogs but when I’m around someone who I feel isn’t taking the situation seriously, letting their leash dangle (I know you probably don’t, I’m just talking about people who do), I just feel unwilling to chance it. The dog who attacked him was totally badly handled, and the owner didn’t do anything but drop the leash and back away, and my dad had to jump in the middle of it, pull our dog away, and restrain the other dog before the owner did anything about her dog who had ours in his mouth by the neck and was shaking him. And I don’t blame the dog. It clearly had a prey drive in a sea of small dogs. the dog would snap sometime. She shouldn’t have had him there. It was a young woman. I’m sure she didn’t realize. But it’s something she probably should have thought about, that a bull mastiff may not be able to handle an area that has a 100 dogs who are mostly toy dogs or very small. If there’s any prey drive whatsoever, it’s going to set the animal off. </p>
<p>Our first sheltie wasn’t a barker but Prince is! Big time. Rascal only barked if there was a direct threat around. If barking is going to be an issue due to apartment living I would extremely suggest to not get a puppy. Some dogs may respond to training and correction but some will always bark. There is really nothing anyone can do about Prince. He’s actually barking at the top of his lungs as we speak. He didn’t bark or even really vocalize at all when he was a baby. The funny thing is, Rascal was really bad as a baby puppy, but an extremely good adult. Prince was the best baby dog anyone could have asked for - quiet, never ruined anything, housetrained at 10 wks and could sit and give paw then too - but he’s semi a monster now, which is okay in a household where there’s 24/7 care, but not so much in an environment where he’d have the chance to get destructive or anxious.</p>
<p>The lady we got our son’s sheltie from said it sometimes took them about a year to ‘find their voice.’ She was right. Ours was SO quiet… for the first year or so. He’s an alert little watchdog, though.</p>
<p>Also make sure your son understands the potential cost factor. Vets are expensive and it’s hard to say what kind of care the dog might need in the future. Is he able and willing to spend perhaps thousands should there be a health issue or accident with the dog? Even if the dog is perfectly healthy it could be something completely unexpected like a car hitting him, a rattlesnake bite, him eating the wrong thing (like certain plants or poisons), or an infection of some sort.</p>
<p>^^^Exactly what I told son. He was thinking about the operating costs of a dog, which he could cover, but I brought up the unexpected. Of course, I didn’t mention that I would help pay for major vet bills rather than put an animal down, but the impression I let him think about was…how would he be able to handle it- if?</p>
<p>"Perhaps a college town rescue/shelter expects to rehome a dog every few years "</p>
<p>I live in a college town, and the rescue/shelters still want forever homes for the animals. Sadly, many college students just dump their pets in the street at the end of semester, particularly spring semester, when many students graduate and move away. I don’t know how anyone could do that to their pet.</p>