<p>transcript of President Bushs State of the Union Address1/31/06</p>
<p>Good evening. Id like to begin by acknowledging the passingI cant say die, its too much of a downerof a great American, Corretta Scott King, wife of civil rights leader Martin Luther King. I do while laughing like hell inside, as the Republican party and its allies have worked hard in many states to draw legislative district lines in a way that minimizes the power of predominantly Democratic African American voters as well as working to suppress African American voter turn out by everything from providing polling places with insufficient voting machines or other supplies to voter identification requirements which disproportionately penalize poor and uneducated African American citizens. This acknowledgment of Ms. King, an appeal to the African American community, is one of my better cynical moments and Id smirk now but Karl Rove told me that tonight I cant.</p>
<p>I offer you a false dichotomy on the war on terror: either do it my way or support isolationism. We are on a mission to end tyranny in the world, attempting to save our freedoms abroad by incrementally diminishing them at home. We are fighting terrorism in Iraq and we can not retreat while leading. Whatever you may think of the bad decisions that brought us to where we are in Iraq, your only alternative to defeat is unquestioning support of the bad decisions were making now. </p>
<p>In support of my program, I have here as my guests tonight the family of a soldier who was killed in Iraq. I am shamelessly exploiting their family loss, using them as human props to manipulate public opinion in favor of my policy. </p>
<p>As a result of my policies, we are fostering democratic reform. We have had elections in Egypt, where the opposition that increased power was the Islamist Muslim Brotherhood, a terrorist organization. We have had elections in Palestine, where Hamas, an organization that has orchestrated terror against Israel for years has gained power; now that they have gained power, we expect them to drop their support of terror as a weapon because we said so. Reforms are taking place in Saudi Arabia, where religious conservatives of the Wahabi sect that underpins the ideology of Osama bin Laden have gained control of city councils and would dominate the country if elections were held nationwide. Look, when I want religious conservatives who want to impose their beliefs upon a country to rule, I mean Evangelical Christians in this country, not abroad. </p>
<p>We now face a growing threat in Iran, where the country has fallen under the control of a small group of clerics. We know that if they are overthrown, the Iranian people would welcome our intervention just as the Iraqi people have in Iraq. I would make more explicit military threats against Iran but our military is, uh, otherwise engaged for the foreseeable future. So sue me.</p>
<p>But just because we are fighting terrorists abroad, it does not mean that we can forget about the threat of terrorism at home. We have many fine men and women in law enforcement working against the threat of terrorism. This being an election year, like 2004, I expect a flurry of new heightened terror alerts as election day approaches, just like we did in 2004, in our effort to help keep voters afraid and intimidated. </p>
<p>As for wiretapping, I will muddy the issue as much as possible, keeping the question focused on why; you must surrender any questions of how, who, what, and when to me…otherwise you are aiding Americas enemies. Besides, if the President does it, its not illegal. I said so. Dick Cheney says so. So there.</p>
<p>We must reform Social Security and Medicare. Social Security spending is rising and we must Do Something. But that something should not include the elimination on cap on income which is taxed for Social Security, for that burden would fall exclusively on my friends, wealthy supporters. Medicare must be reformed, but in a way that gives the consumer maximum choice over which health care company they want to benefit; our health care may cost twice as much per capita as any other rich nation, but thats the cost of campaign contributions.</p>
<p>In global trade, no one can out produce or out compete the American worker. If necessary, workers at customer service centers in Bangladesh and software houses in India will be given American citizenship.</p>
<p>We need to protect our borders. We need to provide workers for our businesses that need them. We must never give amnesty. We must eliminate smuggling across the border. There. Ive said something to appease every faction of my party and I really dont give a damn how they hash it out.</p>
<p>Im proposing a Keep America Competitive initiative, about which after this week you will hear as little as about the federal efforts at relieving the impact of Hurricane Katrina. It will require health care for the poor and elderlydont worry, we can keep redefining poor downward and elderly upward until it doesnt cost muchand for everyone else, youre on your own…I suggest you use money from the sale of the stock options in your trust to pay for your health care.</p>
<p>In the last four years, America has created 4.8 million jobs, more than Europe and Japan. It doesnt matter that their combined population is smaller. It doesnt matter that the number of new jobs hasnt kept up with the number of people seeking them. Thank goodness, the unemployment numbers dont count them because the number doesnt include those who have never been employed before.</p>
<p>I want to make the tax cuts of my administration permanent. In contrast to the tax-and-spend Democrats of yore, I want my legacy to be that of a tax-cut-andspend Republican. Dont bother me about the deficit; it doesnt look quite as bad if you keep the war in Iraq off the books as a temporary expense thats incalculable. Incalculable. That means it cant be calculated.</p>
<p>America is addicted to oil. I know, because even though my own oil company went bust, many of my friends, including Vice President Cheney, have been hardworking oil executives. I say this because they have worked hard. They have worked hard on many fronts, from gaming energy supplies in California and the Pacific Northwest to create an energy crisis so that Grandma Millie had to pay more to keeping refinery capacity flat so that prices remain high. We want to develop more sources of oil. If allowed to drill in Alaska, every arctic caribou will have his or her own oil well. And I am going to do my damnedest to put oil drilling rigs in the bays off the coast of Santa Barbara and Santa Monica; nobody but a bunch of liberals live there anyway, serves em right.</p>
<p>We will wean our dependence on Middle Eastern oil so that we are exclusively dependent on American oil then. This has two great consequences: wait until you see Exxons profits then and then the Middle East can rot for all I care. I am pushing for research in alternative energy sources, which will take off just as soon as the oil companies can control the supply of hydrogen…were thinking of making private possession of water illegal.</p>
<p>Our future depends on the talents of an educated work force. To boost our abilities in Math and Science, I am proposing an American Competitiveness initiative that will require annual SAT tests for everyone, children and adults, every year. Certain entrepreneurs will make a mint in the test preparation business. And the National Security Agency will monitor telephones to make sure that every citizen is complying…hey, did you know that every land line telephone in your home can be turned into an open microphone with the right adjustment?</p>
<p>Id like to recognize our two newest Supreme Court justices, Chief Justice Roberts and Associate Justice Alito. And Id like to say this: nyeah-nyeah-nyeah.</p>
<p>Im going to cram all the other stuff into the next seven minutes because I dont care much about it. As we face the future, I have a platitude for every occasion and faith in God that my poll numbers will go up because this last year hasnt been much fun. Thank you and good night.</p>
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