Naked parties at northeast colleges

<p>About a month ago my H visited my S at Grinnell (this was before sub-zero temps started, presumably). It was ‘h-e-l-l’ week before mid terms. The ‘clothing optional’ club was out in force…not running mind you, but strolling around campus. S was evidently embarassed, though not H…who has a streaky college history himself (salient advice: never go naked in Boston in February without your key…!?) H reminded S that ‘the girls are naked as a political statement, the boys are naked because they want to be next to naked girls.’</p>

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<p>This is, at the very least, half right.</p>

<p>At Washington College in Chestertown MD there is a tradition known as Naked Day. I think it takes place on May 1st. At least the weather is warm by then</p>

<p>Soozie, thongs are not limited to the college-age crowd. A woman I do volunteer work bent over while wearing low-rise jeans and inadvertently gave me indisputable proof that she wears a thong…and she’s older than I am.</p>

<p>Apropos of which, TheMom and I saw “The Full Monty” for the first time the other night and I started calculating how much money I might earn from people begging me to keep my clothes <em>on</em>.</p>

<p>“If you got it, Flaunt it” </p>

<p>Nothing more beautiful than a nude. Nothing more ugly than being naked. (I’m sure someone must have said this somewhere, if not then you can attribute this to me.)</p>

<p>If you can be so flip about “naked parties”, what about when nakedness alone doesn’t rate high enough on the “outrageous meter”? What about the logical next step: “sexploration parties”? You know, drug and alcohol fueled, S & M optional, random hook-up, multiple-partners-traded-like-musical chairs orgies? BYO chains, whips, sex toys, and condomes, as well as your own drugs and booze? Would that be OK too? How about for your S or D? </p>

<p>Before you respond with another Oh-so-flip comment to demonstrate what thoroughly contemporary “free thinkers” you are, how do you think colleges should handle the inevitable charges of rape and sexual assault that are sure to come out of such gatherings?</p>

<p>how do you think they should handle the large number of rapes that already plague college campuses across the country?
its a larger step than you seem to think between being naked and starting a huge kinky orgy but as you said, if they bring protection who is being harmed. if you feel unsafe, don’t go or leave immediately which is true of any party, clothed or no. unfortunately rape is a concern that has to be in your mind on college campuses, but i would agree alcohol plays a big part but colleges arent cracking down on that, why should they crack down on nudity.</p>

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<p><em>CLAP CLAP CLAP</em><--------------This is APPLAUSE, not the <em>other</em> clap that may eventually be an outcome of these gatherings…</p>

<p>poetsheart~</p>

<p>I, too, think that these flip comments are offered for the specific purpose of “proving coolness”. Hey y’all, it’s <em>O.K.</em> to be a PARENT, to DISAPPROVE, to offer guridance, to offer the benefit of your years of life experience for your child’s benefit! Don’t worry, they’ll still respect you…probably even moreso. </p>

<p>~berurah, who is feeling more and more “traditional” as time goes by</p>

<p>“if they bring protection who is being harmed”</p>

<p>A sign of the times?
What a wonderful world, eh. Satchmo should have carved the words into his life affirming psalm. The mind completely unwinds wondering where this deranged wisdom might lead. I would expect, that on great occasion this very line has been employed by some aspiring and desperate date-rapist whilst trying to turn the moral tide on his wavering victim in various stages of undress…”I’ll use protection” and then of course, all is well.</p>

<p>Fortunately, I believe, and hope, this cavalier attitude toward physical intimacy is still a nutty and squalid aberration, not the dignified and humane standard of physical intimacy.</p>

<p>[edit:
Beruah, great points! Being a real parent can’t be all that bad.
Poetsheart, well said…again.]</p>

<p>Actually, Poetsheart, if you don’t know anyone who has attended one of these, then you don’t know how much bigger a step your inevitable steps would be. I know that there was an annual “naked party” given by a House at D’s school; there was very definite rules of what behavior was okay, and what wasn’t, and she did not feel in any way threatened or pressured. Nor did anything of the like you portray occur. And you know what, if a rape had occurred, please explain to me how lack of clothing would make prosecution any less possible?</p>

<p>It’s not mindless free thinking to feel that bodies are themselves, just bodies, and that seeing them should not, in civilized people, lead to orgies, violence, and S and M.</p>

<p>But date rape certainly is a huge problem at many, many schools (probably all), and it would certainly be glass-house time for some folks here to think their schools were better behaved.</p>

<p>^who is feeling more and more “traditional” as time goes by^</p>

<p>That articulates my sentiments exactly, berurah - I guess as a parent, (and I’ve only recently admitted to H AND myself that I agree with him, in having more concerns about my dd than my ds in these situations) I just feel protective, and I think that translates into more “traditional”. Yikes, that WAS a confession, I think!</p>

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<p>galwaymom~</p>

<p>I have three boys and three girls, and yes, I do almost instinctively tend to behave in a more “protective” way toward my girls. My oldest son just isn’t in need of that type of protection…he is and has always been very emotionally self-sufficient, but IMHO the emotional make-up of girls IS different in many ways and consequently, their needs are different. </p>

<p>I have always had a more traditional approach. I stopped apologizing for it long ago, and I have fewer doubts now than I have ever had about my parenting philosophy because my older children are now old enough for me to see the results. </p>

<p>At any rate, don’t feel badly about your “confession”…on the contrary, celebrate it as the positive thing it is for your daughter, who will most certainly benefit from your loving guidance and “protectiveness”! </p>

<p>fondly, ~berurah</p>

<p>Garland,</p>

<p>Dead corpses are “just bodies”; Living Bodies, that is, bodies animated by life and emotion, sentiments and feelings are not “just bodies,” IMO, they are persons and they earn a higher degree of respect than “just bodies.”</p>

<p>But, as far as these things go, how about re-making “casual Friday” into “naked Friday”? What would be the harm? It would not necessarily lead to rape, would it? Short of that, how about those so inclined being allowed to hang naked posters on office walls—like they used to in traditional auto-mechanics shops. Moreover, only those who feel truly liberated by “Naked Friday” should show up at the office in their “naked bodies”; all others wear ‘em if you got ‘em. There could be very strict rules regarding behavior, no touching, ogling, caddy remarks, etc.—just in case not everyone is as “liberated” and “enlightened” as everyone else.</p>

<p>However, in this litigious society, there may be financial considerations to sanctioning this behavior in the workplace or classroom (think of “Sex-God-Goddess” at Brown). So, how about just inviting the really “liberated” employees to a “naked-office-party” after hours, held at a private club or residence, only those who have risen above the sexual impulse should feel the need to attend, the lumbering club-draggers need not “show.”</p>

<p>Anyhow, if they are “just bodies” why all the worry about what is done with and to them. Nobody worries about–culturally or emotionally–damaging a block of wood, or a stone.</p>

<p>IMO, any office-worker who feels differently must work in a glass office building;)</p>

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<p>Woodwork~</p>

<p>Absolutely, and not only that, these are YOUNG living bodies whose brains may not yet fully comprehend the eventual consequences of teenage and young adult behavior. ~berurah</p>

<p>Coming from a true expert with six children (and I consider my own mother an expert also, with the same number!) , I appreciate your post, berurah.
I think I’ve been raising mine with as much gender equality as possible, but you are so right about the emotional make-up of girls being so different. And I think that is precisely why I feel more protective, for lack of a better word, towards her as I ponder her at naked parties! And I worry about her physical safety as well-</p>

<p>My brother and sister-in-law just recounted a story to me about their attendance at a recent BC football game. They said they witnessed clearly drunken female students being tossed way up into the air in the crowd, with clothing flying askew. They were picturing my dd, whom they are crazy about, in the air someday- and were horrified at the thought of her returning home quadripalegic!
Yet another reason for me to lie awake at night…</p>

<p>Woodwork–you misunderstand me, perhaps willfully. Bodies are wondrous, wonderful things–truly, to me, an example of God’s briliant creation. To assume the sight of them is, and only is, a sexual thing, seems very sadly trivializing.</p>

<p>If, in private, in an arena where all are on equal footing (not a class or work situation, where power structures impose ffeelings of obligation) some people choose to be clothless, does not mean it is a sexual occasion, in fact, those I’ve heard described seem to be far less so than the average frat extravaganza or alcohol-infused football game shenanigans described above by Galwaymom. </p>

<p>The “naked party” gatherings I have heard of, really require a level of trust, and trustworthiness, which is often absent, unfortunately, at many more typical college gatherings. Maybe you think that college age kids would not be capable of that; my experience has been the opposite.</p>

<p>ww:</p>

<p>equating a rape victims, mine, words to those of a rapists is about as low and inaccurate as it gets. the audacity and self-righteousness appalls me. of course people have used “hey baby ill use protection” as a line to try and coax someone into bed but that doesnt mean that using protection should be condemned because it is used by a rapist.
no using protection shouldnt make or encourage people to have frivolous or criminal sexual exploits and for most people it doesnt encourage them. so to use the actions of the cruel or crude minority to and clump everyone else in with them is ridiculously unjustified.</p>

<p>“this cavalier attitude toward physical intimacy is still a nutty and squalid aberration, not the dignified and humane standard of physical intimacy.”</p>

<p>please… it is not my attitude but is the attitude of many, and as for dignified and humane standard of physical intimacy- what exactly is that? knowing his/her name? dating? love? engagement? marriage? its all completely arbitrary, and different for everyone.</p>

<p>We have to stop people from enjoying themselves.</p>

<p>seriously what is this world coming to</p>

<p>Poster of post #37</p>

<p>I prefer to allow your comments to speak for themself. They need no illuminating. </p>

<p>Regards,</p>

<p>WW</p>

<p>[edit: I wrote “this cavalier attitude”, not “his”.]</p>