Also want to support OP because this can be exceedingly stressful even for an adult. While it seems OP wants to take appropriate action, some calls for urgency and responsibility make it sound like some guilt would be on her if she doesn’t act NOW. Not at all true.
Careful action should be taken when ready.
Another thought is that a pedophile absolutely doesn’t want multiple teen girls testifying in front of a jury about comments suggesting attraction to 13-17 year old girls. It’s not slander if it’s true! I’m not a lawyer, but I think the hesitation over being sued is overplayed here.
At this point, it’s only alerting authorities who can do more thorough, professional investigation. Reporting suspicious activities gas the potential of saving innocent young kids from creepy, possibly criminal behavior.
If my kid was at risk, I’d be very grateful for anyone who reported suspicious behavior so authorities could be sure to follow up to confirm suspicions or find them unfounded.
Isn’t the burden of proof whatever a jury deems it to be? If the teen girls have no text messages or other hard proof, can’t they all testify as to what he has said?
My thought is that the creeper won’t sue because a jury is not likely to convict teen girls of slander if they all say “He said XYZ.”
OK so I now seriously question the critical reading skills of many people who have posted responses.
They took ONE sign. My D wrote on the sign. They sent ME and only me, a picture of the sign.
The sign is now in the garbage at MY HOUSE, so I know where it is.
There is no social media, no “libel” and no “slander”.
And I was sexually assaulted by my track coach at age 16 and I never told anyone except my best friend until I was about 25, when I ran into my old guidance counselor in a bar and he ASKED “what happened”. He also asked me during the months before the coach was allowed to resign and get the same job one town over,”Why are you suddenly missing so much school? Why so many tardies? Colleges are going to look at your transcripts and say this kid is smart but she can’t get out of bed”. It was the perfect opportunity to TELL SOMEONE, and I couldn’t. My best friend eventually got him fired, because he had been having sex with her since she was in 8th grade, and she was brave and told, to protect ME.And I didn’t even go with her. I never told my story to the people firing him. I KNOW if I was forced to go to the police, I would NOT have been able to tell them anything at that point in my life.
So now you know. I’ve felt guilty for years because he was eventually fired from the NEXT school. So yes I want to do the right thing, but I didn’t make this post to have people
who haven’t walked in those shoes calling my daughter names.
We all think we know what we would do if it were us, but WE ARE USUALLY WRONG.
I’ve thanked people for helpful advice, and now it is getting unhelpful. How do I ask a moderator to close or delete this thread? Moderator? Please?
I am going to be blunt and you are not going to like it but I need to say it.
Your daughter is modeling your behavior which is keeping quiet. Perhaps both of you need to see a counselor.
I question a parent thinking it’s ok to deface a sign and considers this behavior ok even if it is just one sign. This is not normal behavior on your daughter’s part. You can chose to look the other way. That is your choice. It makes me angry to read something like this and seeing such red flags being ignored by a parent. Silence is never the solution. If tomorrow she faces something similar at college or when she gets a job you are basically teaching her to keep quiet and ignore the problem.
@Gudmom I have never walked in your shoes, shared your sense of vulnerability or been a victim. I am however in awe of your apparent courage and resilience and fully appreciate how emotionally conflicted this must make you feel.
You don’t need “us” a well intentioned mob telling you what needs to be done. You already know the answer. You have to find a way to protect those that are most vulnerable. Please find the means that you are most comfortable with to ensure that outcome in as timely a manner as possible so others aren’t at risk. No one wants a child abused but under these circumstances you can potentially prevent abuse from taking place.
FYI I am not presuming to know if this counselor is a creep (subjective) or pedophile (criminal). I do know that you are a sophisticated person who has a well founded basis for concern and suspicion. Have someone in authority investigate please.
I wish you and your daughter a sense of peace and security. So sorry for your experiences!